It never ceases to amaze me how much wierder my parents can get. Tonight Pops called at around 5:30 and he got the answering machine. Keep in mind that I have a cell phone that I always have on. The following is what I heard while taking a nap after an exhausting day at work.
"Please leave a message after the tone."
Jim if you're there pick up the phone it's me, Dad
It's Dad, pick up the phone if you're home.
Are you awake? Jim?
Jim if you're home, pick up the phone.
How am I supposed to get a hold of him, if he's not home?
Jim are you home? If you are, it's Dad, pick up the phone.
If you're home pick up the phone.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm a rotten, thoughtless child for not picking the phone up to talk with my father. Normally I would agree with you however, I have had a cell phone for a very long time. My parents pretty much refuse to use it. My Dad will, on occasion if something is of dire importance use it. My mother on the other hand, thinks it's just me being bourgeois and upitty and that I am trying to be someone I'm not by having a cell phone. I keep reiterating to both of them, that it's so they (or others) can get a hold of me when they need to.
What's funny about the whole thing is my dad has a cell phone. He actually has the same model as I do. What's aggravating is he will not pick it up if you call. He will not check the caller ID and has no #'s programmed into the phone beyond my house number, and, oddly enough my cell number. When asked about the philosophy behind this, he said, "My cell phone is for my convenience, not for anyone else." So I felt it necessary to poke the bear a little. "So when others need to get a hold of you, and they call, you neither pick up the phone, nor check your voice mail. What good does it do you then?" He was unphased and still stands behind the, "it's all about me" credo. I have to give the guy some credit though, he has been a little better about answering.
But tonight was not a need of dire importance. Tonight was one of those things that drives me up a wall. Tonight was the whole, "Yeah it would have taken me five seconds, but I'll have you do it instead." call. My dad was frantic that a window frame, with no fucking glass in it, the wood of questionable integrity, was going to get thrown away with some other scrap material. So, his call for all intensive purposes was to have me root through the trash, he looked at long enough to take a mental inventory of but not grab the window frame. Why did he not grab the window frame? Cause it would have taken 5 seconds out of his day and it would have made sense.
Enough about that.
I have been thinking a lot again about the future and what I want for myself. I can see there are going to need to be sacrifices made but I think in the long run, I will be ok. I want to get my masters degree so I can open up more opportunities for myself but the thought of more school makes me want to scream. I find this odd because I like the academic environment, it makes me feel good about myself. Not to mention the chances of meeting single women in college is very appealing.
However, it all comes back to the same question, "What do I want for myself?" Do I want to get a master's degree in journalism or do I want to get whatever I need to be able to teach high school. I like the idea of teaching because I like working with kids and to be perfectly honest: June, July and August, to myself with a paycheck sounds pretty good. The money is not there but I don't really know what kind of money I'd be making as a journalist either. I don't know I wouldn't still be eating tuna fish, working weekends and scrounging change to by coffee at Tim Horton Hears a Whore™. I could be totally wrong, and I could go to work for some big PR firm or whatever and not have to worry about all of the concerns I have now, but I need to realize there will be others.
It's all very confusing and to be honest, there are not enough hours in the day to get all of the thinking done. Part of me thinks I am bit of a drama queen, the other part of me thinks I just want to find the happiness I don't think I deserve. Whatever will be, will be.
I hope you all are well.