Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Some Enchanted Evening

Here I am -- instead of getting laid up, licked down, drunk, richer, or smarter, I'm guest-blogging at JJ's. How gay am I?

For those of you who may read JJ's blog but not know me, I am Non Vocabulum, or a.k.a. Dena. Call me Zulu.
JJ asked me guest blog while he is away at his Space Alien Midget and Tranny Fuckfest Fantasy Camp in Sheboygan. I'm flattered.

So I was sitting around at work this afternoon pretending to grease the wheels that keep Canada rolling and came up with the top ten reasons why JJ will never be President of Canada. Check it out:

TOP TEN REASONS WHY JJ WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT* OF CANADA

10. Needs a mouth full of raw potatoes before he can pronounce Nunavut.
9. Likes all things French, especially when it comes to feathers, food, and politics.
8. RCMP raided his trailer in '91 and foud bootlegs of One Night in Jean Chretien.
7. Thinks the Polkaroo is Canadian code language for kiddie porn.
6. Unlike the rest of Canada, believes Anne of Green Gables was simply a cocktease and not a rabid rugmuncher.
5. Feels Caitlin Ryan is to blame for Claude's tragic suicide.
4. Doesn't know the real meaning of "nice head."
3. Would rather die than rock out to Blue Rodeo on a lonely Friday night.
2. Thinks Native Indians were treated unfairly at one point in time.
1. "Pamela who??"


*whoever guessed Canada has a Prime Minister and not a Prez wins a free blowjob courtesy of . . .

1 comment:

n.v. said...

I can't believe JJ is hanging around and not commenting. JJ, I'm all up in your blog tomorrow.