Monday, October 31, 2005

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thursday, the day...

not the band.

I'm up. It's early, not as early as the first time I was up. That was sometime around 5am and the only reasons to be up that late are coming home at an ungodly hour or pissing up a storm (as was my case). I wish someone told me as I got older that my bladder would shrink to a tenth of its former size. There are nights I swear I didn't drink a small lake and yet, I'm able to pass one. Not that this is of interest to any of you.

Yesterday, being my day off, of course I had to go into work. Why would I get a day off that allowed me to actually be away from my place of employment for a full 48 hours? I had to go in and take a written test and then get my hand to hand combat certification renewed. Everything went fine. I was just pissed cause every last one of the mouth-breathing, assholes I work with waited until the very last minute to get this done. I did however, take great pleasure in watching the majority of my co-workers sweat over the written portion of the testing. Jaysus...talk about deers in the hi-beams! As a result I had a very long wait to complete the physical part of my test. That being said, getting old is a bitch and arthritis is an even bigger bitch.

My ankles, elbows and knees ache like those of a veteran NFL lineman a year or so from retirement. That's bad considering I am 32, I will probably have to work until I drop dead. 9:10 is a much more civil time to be up. While I am out of coffee and what coffee I did have is giving me a bad case of grumbly-tumbly, a quick breakfast and visit to my office ( and when I say office I mean throne. And when I say throne, I mean toilet.) should remedy any and all ills.

On Sunday, I am supposedly going to Salem, MA with some co-workers. I guess I should be looking forward to this but in reality, I think I am going to come home more frustrated than if I were to get laughed at by the woman of my dreams, as I proposed. I've never been a big Halloween person, it's not like I hate the holiday, I just think there are better things to be concerned with as an adult. If you have children, then of course I would say embrace it, otherwise...do something to make yourself smarter.

I'm off like a prom dress. Time to go to the market and buy eggs for breakfast. In the last half hour or so, I have come to realize my day off breakfasts are unnecessary and somewhat indulgent. I am going to now cook for myself and maybe the money I save will allow me to do something more worthwhile like buy a book or have some more diet soda.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Friday, October 21, 2005

Nerds will never go to class again...

Are you fucking kidding me?

Can we get any lazier? I submit that we CANNOT! I know had this been available when I was in school, I would have spent my days eating grilled cheese sammiches, playing hockey on the playstation and trying to make out with girls I had no business making out with. Screw class.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Call me crazy...

but I'm tired of the b.s. I have been surfing around this vast interweb tonight looking for something to catch my eye, looking for something to take the edge off and make me say, "damn that's cool, funny, a great idea." Unfortunately, the places I have ventured have about as much life in them as Bob Hope's cock. Those people I link to, I have been there and of course I'm happy to see peeps posting and keeping it real but I am longing for something more.

I mean shit, I'm sitting here drinking coffee, listeing to Van Morrison and chatting via IM with those who still have their feet firmly planted in the idea that life is not about amassing the most amount of expensive shit. I don't know where we lost it but somewhere along the line someone said, "let's just buy shit and not think of anything other than I want this and I don't how or who this affects." To you motherfuckers in the suburbs driving Hummers, "I hope you enjoy blood on your hands."

Moving right along, I can respect differing opinions but this is my blog and I can pretty much say whatever here. I really dig the busblog. I think Tony Pierce has a great thing going there and his success is an inspiration to schlubs like myself. Wait for it...here it comes, I just don't understand how a guy who seems to have so much going on could have such awful taste in music. Now I know what you are saying, "Jackass, have you heard the new TSAR album...I mean have you really heard it?" My answer would be no, I have not. While my interest in TSAR is piqued, and I intend on at least checking them out, I would not go see or listen to Juliette Lewis & the Licks if the alternative was getting fucked by Mike Tyson.

I know it's a bit juvenille and moronic but I still like the angry young man music. That is not to say I have no appreciation of anything else, I'm listening to Van Morrison for Christ's sake, but there are certain things we all get from whatever tunes we listen to and therefore, we will never see eye to eye on all music.

Tomorrow, I go into the studio to read for approximately 80 minutes. A friend of mine who is a free form musician has been after me for years to lay down vocals for his stuff. I've had experience fronting several bands, who have never played anything larger than your living room or backyard party but it's experience none the less. Problem is my friend, just jams and his time changes and sheeyat come from out of left field and you never know where things start or where they begin.

You all, are probably saying, "well Jackass, if you were a true artist, this would not be a problem for you." Maybe you're right but anytime you want to come and jam with Phish meets Floyd, meets Sabbath, meets The Dead, meets Sarah MacLachlan...let me know. And no, this shit does not need any more cowbell.

Grrr...more digging through forgotten texts and stuff that should have been burned ages ago.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Yesterday...

the W called me and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch. It was rounding the two O'clock hour and I had a MANDATORY staff meeting at 3PM. Now here again is where I hate having my days off on Wednesday and Thursday, cause all of the fucking trainings and breifings and meetings, etc... I have to go to, always fall on my days off. I know I mentioned this before but, when you have to go into work on your day off...it's like having a job that requires you to peel & eat foreskin.

Like today for instance, today is payday. That means there is a check waiting for me on the unit. Do you think I am going to get it? No, why the hell would I do that to myself. It's still gonna be there when I go to work tomorrow and the great think is, I am still not broke enough to not be able to afford lunch or dinner if I need to. Anyway, so the W calls and says he is starving and that I should pick him up. I relay to him the impending doom of my MANDATORY staff meeting and he suggests the old family e-mergency. Since I have yet to use this excuse and it was an unseasonably warm October afternoon, I called into to work to let them know I would not be in attendance.

Normally when this happens, I need to speak to a supervisor (or the equivalent of the clown that is allowed to wear the button down shirt at McDongle's) but since my supervisor was not on the unit, I lucked out and left a message with the chalupa.

We went to Janice's Ricotti's (the home of $5-full) Seriously, I got a medium tuna grinder with lettuce, tomato, onion and american cheese and a large diet soda for $5.99. Lick me where I shit, SUBWAY. So we ate and talked for a bit and had a few laughs and then we left. On my way back to W's house, he asked if my car cd player was still all fubar'd and I let him know it was. "You feel like taking that shit out today?" he asked with a grin on that meant we were doing it whether I wanted to or not.

Several hours and lots of swearing and cuts to the hand later, my dash is in pieces and the radio is still firmly in place. We're in the heat of battle when we both hear the low rumble of a mustang coming around the corner and we look at each other and cringe. My boss, a mutual friend, pulls up and jumps out, "What the hell was the emergency? Is everyone ok?" his concern was somewhat justified, but he should have figured out, I was not feeling the love of coming to work on a day off. I never do. We struggle more with the dash and then I say, "fuck it" and have the boss take me to Autozone where they sell me a tool that has my radio out of my dash in about 2 minutes. The tool, with tax, $4.27.

So we get the casing off the stero and realize there is going to be some work involved with fixing it. It's a 6 disc changer and even with all of W's vast electronic expertise, he still can't figure out how I managed to get 7 cds stuck in there. "It kept telling me it was hungry", I said. Another hour passes and gratefully boss has to go and meet with the ex-wife to sign some paperwork on his new batchelor condo. W, unlike the president is able to accomplish something and manages to get 6 out of the 7 cds out. He tells me he can't get it out without breaking it. He also looks at various gears and motors on the cd player and tells me they are all fucked.

In escence, all I wanted was my cds back. Last night I fell asleep to Lost in Meditation, a wonderful Gregorian Chant cd I would recommend to anyone with insomnia. Later on tonight I will be drinking coffee and listening to Fall Out Boy's "Take this to you grave" yet another retrival from the disc-eating deck of doom. I have had all day to write what did I do? I cleaned, slept and listened to podcasts. God sometimes it's a wonder I get anything done.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

It's...

nine minutes to that magical hour of 4:20 and I can't make it. If I don't go to bed right now, I am going to die. I just wanted you all to know I fully intend on posting some good stuff when I wake from my beauty sleep. Until then, keep your hands out of your pants and keep reaching for the soda.

Cheers,
JJ

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Friday, October 14, 2005

Gonna be a...

Great fuckin' day! Mr. Coffee decided to act like a fucking cunt and not have the coffee ready when I awoke this morning. I don't ask much, coffee black and hot, ready at 6 AM. Now, I am probably going to be late for work...GREAT!

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Monday, October 10, 2005

1492

It's Monday, a holiday and yet I find myself up at the normal time, getting ready for another fantastic day of work. I can wait until the very last moment to leave because I am going to be the only motherfucker on the road. Today will be awesome as I get to work with my boss, who thinks I'm lazy, but who has yet to work a weekend in the past two months, maybe even more.

On top of all of this I am working over time so I can only be totally broke, rather than HOLY SHIT broke...wonderful.

Just when I thought there would be no more bonuses or added incentives to getting up today, I find out that apparently, I'M AN ASSHOLE.

What a great day to be alive.

Happy Columbus Day!

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Friday, October 07, 2005

Revisited old coffee

shop today, on my self-initiated, "mental health" day. I didn't really do a whole hell of a lot. Got up, went shopping and grabbed coffee and a muffin at the dunk with my brother. It's not Starbucks but dunkin donuts is getting to be just as much of a corporate asshole as the other major coffee chains. The only things I have to rejoice in are the fact that I know how to brew my own and have a bean grinder and that Tim Horton's will soon be opening right down street from the Dunkin Donuts I have called home for so long. To be perfectly honest, I can't wait to switch. I am anxious to see if this Tim Horton's will be 24 hours like so many others. If that's the case, Dunkin Donuts can suck my fucking dick.

Yeah, so I used to go to Brewed Awakenings before but there was always an overabundance of high school kids hanging out and being highschool kids. Rather than drive into Providence, I chose to drink shitty coffee at Dunkin Donuts or just brew a pot of whatever beans I had at home. Often this later choice would cause my stomach to fall out of my ass, cause I would drink a whole pot in a very short time. Today I was out running errands and felt the need for something full strength. So I stopped and got a cup of Kona and after about 10 minutes, I was ready to fasten my seatbelt. This is the jolt I look for in my morning fix from Dunkin, (the one I don't get even if I add the "turbo" shot of espresso.) I was grateful I was not jittery, as I was writing blue pony scented letters but the coffee did give me a nice lift.

After finishing the letter and the brew, came home, did some laundry, listened to the latest releases from Senses Fail and UnderOath. I enjoyed the Sense Fail disc a little more as there was more singing and less screaming. I can still dig on some screaming but I need to be in the mood for it. UnderOath tend to go back and forth between screaming and singing and while I'm writing, it's like, "make up your mind, dude." No big plans on a friday night as there is the dark shadow of work tomorrow. I've been having some problems with the foot again, so I have been rehabing like a mother scratcher. This getting old shit sucks.

In other news...

If you are female and live withing a hundred mile radius, appreciate sarcasm and self-depriciating humor and can hold a conversation, how does dinner sound?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Has Anyone Else...

Noticed that Fall is here? Things here in Jackassville are getting a bit cool but the sleeping at night has become somewhat of a guilty pleasure. I love not having to sleep with fans all over me, waking up with a broken neck, back and shoulders. Mother Nature, you can come and lull me to sleep anytime. My brother and I took the air conditioner out of the living room today. Besides the increase in light, the breeze is also nice and helps to rid the room of his dirty-ass post work feet stink.

It's not looking to good for the Red Sox and yet I am still believing. I think if I didn't, Steve Perry, lead singer from Journey, would come and kick my ass. Something about having an ass whooping put on you by a guy who sang, "Oh Sherry" that just makes me wince. Spent some time with the shrink today, talked over several things, we both agree I suffer from seasonal depression, among a few other things. Figures, it's my favorite time of year and also the time I am in the most emotional turmoil. I know I sound like some fucking cheeseball from, Days of Our Lives or something but let he/she who is with out problems cast the first stone.....beeyotches.

In other news...

Former fat kid Jerry O'Connell makes good with engagement to Rebecca Romijn Stamos. For those of you not in the know, Jerry O'Connell played Vern in Stand By Me. O'Connell immortalized in celluloid while being paralyzed by fear as a locomotive steams toward him and also for choosing cherry flavored pez as the one food he would eat for the rest of his life. I guess all I have to say here is, "Nice going Vern, two for flinching!"

Other than that, things have been going relatively smooth here. I am getting ready to do some fall cleaning so if anyone wants some dust and or garbage, please feel free to come on by. I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I don't know...

if I'm tired or not fully awake. The past several days have been such a blur that I care not to try and remember what the hell happened. All I know is that I am feeling like I have had the life sucked out of me. It's not even a feeling of being tired, it's like chronic fatigue syndrome bad. Yeah, I'm being a tad mellow-dramatic but what the fuck, it's not like anyone comes here.

Went to see Wedding Crashers over the weekend. Good flick but definitely a rental. The Italian had passes, otherwise I might have been pissed off having paid $$$ to see that considering the loss of sleep that was involved. We had a late dinner at Spike's in Apple Valley, and then back to his place so he could take a dump. I was grateful there was no visit with Mrs. Italian (his mom) in the 10 minutes we were there. He got the paper and we decided Wedding Crashers was the only thing playing in the, "it's even too late for God to be up" spot. What was even better was there was only one other couple in there, I could have watched the movie in my wife-beater had I wanted to.

Dunkin Donuts opens in 2 minutes. I would love another coffee, however, I hate the service at my local shop. Seriously...6 minutes for an iced coffee is recockulous. What's awesome is that they are going to build a Jim Horton's right down the street. I know it's Tim Horton's, but once that fucker is open, I am taking it over. Part of me thinks my lack of energy is in direct relation to the fact I don't have to many hobbies. I do read but lately I have found any book I open to be almost instant narcolepsy. I have been trying to catch up on my Harry Potter but its just impossible.

I don't normally make recommendations for music cause my tastes are so varied, people inevitably come back and scream at me cause they bought/downloaded something they felt was less than good. Now in most cases I can see why, but goddamnit, I'm not holding a gun to your head. You have a brain and free will and the ability to not buy something if you are unsure. Shit, there are enough places on this fucking thing they call the internet where you can listen to a whole disc before you DECIDE whether or not you are going to buy it.

That having been said, let me recommend two cds to you all. If you are a fan of Ben Folds (Five or otherwise) I highly recommend checking out North by Something Corporate. SoCo as they are affectionately referred to by their fans, meld their southern California happiness with emotional tourism to make probably one of the better releases I've heard in the past 2-3 years. Andrew McMahon's honest and often personal lyrics are a perfect match for mostly up tempo rants and raves over the life , liberty and of course the pursuit of the girl.

After a grueling, yet successful co-headlining tour with TRL Champs, Yellowcard, McMahon felt he needed some time off. During this time McMahon fueled his sideproject, Jack's Mannequin. Excited about his new material and anxious to record and release, Everything in Transit, McMahon was diagnosed with Acute Lymphatic Leukemia. Always the optimist, McMahon postponed touring with SoCo & Jack's Mannequin. McMahon underwent a great deal of treatment and is expected to make a full recovery, but the road back to good health has not been easy. Everything In Transit was released to rave reviews and sold 22,000 copies its first week despite having little to no mainstream media support.

The always modest and grateful McMahon, grows stronger day by day and is anxious to get back to work however, knows he needs to wait until he has the green light from doctors. With the love and support of his family, friends and a legion of devoted fans, McMahon takes being sidelined from music in stride. Having seen SoCo live, I'm glad Andrew is taking it easy, he has a great stage presence and writes great music. Here's to a continued and speedy recovery.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ