Monday, March 17, 2008

Java What???

I wish I could say I woke up like a house on fire and raring to go but truth be told, I basically stayed up all night. See I went grocery shopping and while so doing got a call from Somuchmorethaneyecandy™, she wanted to meet at Brewed Awakenings for coffee. Somuch™ and I haven't hung out in like three weeks so, I was down. I get there maybe 5 minutes before her and the place is packed, packed like the $20 Fung Wa bus from Boston-NYC. Like not an open seat or table in the joint. I scan the joint like a sniper searching for their target. There are plenty of seats but people have their bags, laptops, homework, high school and otherwise piled all over the place, therefore, since almost everyone in there was being an inconsiderate asshole, Somuch™ and I were forced to go down the street to Dunkin Blownuts.


We sat there for a while shooting the shit, talking about this and that and what all I've been up to, I.E. WORK and what she does with her free time, WORK. She asked if I still planned on moving to TN once I'm done with nursing school. I told her I thought so but that nothing is ever set in stone, however, someplace definitely warmer than the NE. She asked me about WV and what I thought about it? I told her, “never been there but not ruling it out.” She confided she was interested in going to gradschool for sports psychology and there was some great program at some small school. Somehow I think this plan as well as others may change, but that is yet to be determined.

Around 6:30 this morning I decided to start getting myself together. I wanted to get some coffee at Timmy's before the masses were up and out in full force. It being Monday, school buses, garbage trucks, recycling trucks and all sorts of other nonsense are on the road. I hoped to beat the rush. I bounced out the door about 7:10, not too late but I needed to get a move on if I wanted a round trip of less than 15 minutes. The wind was the first thing to hit me and sporting only cargo shorts and a sweatshirt, I about shit out my spine from being cold. Spring sure is taking its leisurely fucking time getting here. I fire up the F1 and she responds begrudgingly, there is no time to warm up, I can see the kids walking to their respective bus stops, some wearing coats, some wearing...I don't even know what to call what these fucking kids are wearing.

I tear ass out of the drive way and remember it is no longer Sunday so, rock music has once again returned to the radio. No ipod this AM, not enough time. I listen to two songs from the WBRU three -way: Stone Temple Pilots' Interstate Love Song and “Orange Crush” by REM and postulate the theme of the three-way may be “road-tripping” but you can bet your ass I'm not sitting in my car to figure it out. There will be commercials and banal radio banter before an answer and my time is precious.

Pull into the drive thru at Timmy's and order 2 large HOT toasted almond coffees, LIGHT, sans sucre. That's no sugar for those of you not in the know. Timmy's is a Canadian company and sometimes JackassJimmy has to kick it to them in the native tongue, just to make sure they don't slip him some sugar to take his diabetic ass out. Besides, I reserve my give and take of sugar for the ladies. Yeah, you know what I'm saying... wink*wink*. Pull around, pay and am handed two coffees, out the window, no tray. The girl in the window looks like the last time she went to bed, Alf was still on t.v. I am indeed JackassJimmy and so I give her the wink and say, “Good thing my cupholders aren't filled up with change or anything.” She doesn't get it and I just grab my shit and roll. One cup in a cup holder, the other warming my cockles and killing millions of potential Jackass offspring.

Make it back to the hizzo, not in record time, but respectable. Coffees in hand, jump out of the F1, not thinking, lock keys in car. Karma comes around and tickles my asshole again. Not only did I lock my keys in the car but my dome light is on. I can hear my battery laughing at me. I put the coffee on the front stairs and vow to gut anyone who touches them while I'm gone. Jump down over the retaining wall and pray the cellar door is unlocked. It's not, but the window is. Pull a semi B&E and get in, in one piece. Twig and berries are frosty but I'm ok. Sprint upstairs through the house and to the front door. Open it up to see the trash fuckers spying my coffee. They back off cause JJ has street cred and has been here since Moses wore short pants. Get my toasted almond java and back in the fortress of solitude™. So here I sit, writin', sippin on coffee, eating oatmeal with raisins, it doesn't get much more mid-life crisis than this.

This post was brought to you by the magic of coffee and KEXP 90.3 Seattle.

I hope you all are well.


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