Sometimes I swear my parents went wrong when they named me
that’s where it ended though because from there on out, i took the wheel and it’s been all uphill since there. sometimes I think I should not use this blog to express what i feel but then again, if I am not writing for me, who the hell am I writing for?
i know there is no audience, there may be three, perhaps four people at most, who check in from time to and see if just maybe i have stopped typing like my name is Eeyore. sorry to disappoint you but i’m back at the helm again and for what it’s worth, things are proving to be somewhat more than challenging. for what seems like an eternity, i battle one medical problem after another. since i lost the job that kept me poor, yet out on my own, my personal health has been in the toilet. whatever sense of independence i had vanished with my privacy, as i moved back in with the parents. i watched a decent social life dwindle and my nest egg saved for a rainy day disappear like, “presto change-o ala peanut butter sandwiches” or some shit like that.
my most recent battle was with my left foot. gratefully it was not clubbed like Daniel Day Lewis’ foot, in a film of the same name but, I have problems with blisters and ulcerations and other stuff associated with uncontrolled diabetes. People hear uncontrolled diabetes and think a person sits around eating birthday cake sandwiches and candy and drinking coffee coolattas, like they are never going to make them again, with no regard for themselves nor those taking care of them.
i’m sure in some cases that may be true but not in mine. Before all this nonsense started I was in the best shape of my life, feeling really great and starting to think that all was not doomed. then lo and behold the “Job variable” struck me and my ass has been kicked in one way or another almost six years now. Something needs to give.
there is also a part of me which thinks I forever rock the Eeyore card cause somehow it always has to be about me. which is crazy to hear myself say, cause if i looked back on most of my life, I think i’d see i put everyone else before me, most of the time. this may be true and maybe just maybe that is my role in life, to be the one person that people can count on and come to and because of the selflessness of my actions, my reward will be great once i leave this rock. But the longer i read textbooks in the areas of science, the more i worry this is the only rodeo in the galaxy.
I hope you all are well.