Monday, August 08, 2005

I didn't do anything special...

for my 100th post, so here's a little photo fun.
Hey there, I'm yer prezident. They tell me yer one of those fuckin' spellin' champs er sumthin?

but wait there's more...
I really wish I knew what in the hell Juan Valdez is saying over there, but I never learned to speak a lick of mexican.

but that's not all, you also get...
One time I told a lie this big. Well a lie this big really isn't a lie, it's more of a fib or a story really.
Ok, so I didn't...I mean don't lie...ever.

act now and I'll include international blunders of epic proportion!
This is a really cool pose I learned from some guys on my trip to Germany. The pretzels and sausages were delicious. My friends said they were the wurst, I don't know why. (I only choked once.)

Operators are standing by, act quickly...
And then, then there was this time I told a big ol' fuckin' lie about some new jobs er sumthin' and I got away with that fucker. People thought I was one cool customer the way I was commuticating that time.

Visa, Mastercard, Discover, AMEX, Diner's Club, Carte Blanche...
Laura really likes this one. She says it makes me look regal and like a dominating force. I have never been good at dominos and don't like pizza all that much, but what ever gets her panties off is ok with me.

Check, Money Order, NO C.O.D.
Members of Congress, esteemed colleagues, my fellow Amerikkkans, I come before you today to introduce you to my newest friend and confidant. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce, Heavy Metal Thomas Jefferson.

In just a few short days, I have received a wealth of great insight and ideas on how to solve many of nations dilemas. Heavy Metal Thomas Jefferson is also helping to guide my spiritual life as well as guiding us out of Iraq. I hope and trust you will give him the same trust and support you have given me.

God Bless Amerikkka and good night.

and then there was this one whopper of a fuckin' lie I made up about 9-11 & Saddam and Iraq and Weapons of Mass Destruction. I duped the American people into thinkin' their sons and daughters and mothers and fathers were dying for a noble cause. Best part about it was the whole fuckin' time...I didn't know my ass from page four about what was really going on.

It would be much funnier if it wasn't all true.

I hope you all are well.


1 comment:

n.v. said...

JJ, I laughed oot lood at these, expecially the 'Laura's panties' one and this last one. You gotta do more of these! They're all the rage in blogland, captioning - don'tcha know?