Saturday, December 31, 2005

Up and at em'

Sometimes it's hard being a good brother, other times it's really easy. I sit here and type this post without music as my brother snores like he is never going to sleep again. The couch has given up and has a permanent sag in it and his Red Sox fleece blanket will cover shoulders or feet but not both. Like the Red Sox teams of many years...coming up just a little short.

It's Saturday and just past 10AM and while I know it's still early for some of you out there, it would be nice if someone was up to talk. See, I normally have to get up at 6AM come hell or high water. I feel it in my best interest to stay on my work/sleep schedule while I am out of work, just cause it took me so damn long to finally get adjusted to it. In case you've never checked the time on some of my posts, I'm a bit of a night owl.

So, I'm up and one cup of coffee down. I've checked my buddy list and no one but one fruitcake in California and three Canadians, all of whom are busy, but will be right back. I won't hold my breath. It's unseasonably warm for December/January and I'm not going to complain. The fact that I don't have to traverse twinkling sheets of ice to get anywhere, gives back me some confidence having a knee in 42 kabillion pieces has taken away.

I awoke this morning with pain in my knee like there was a Rambo knife on each side. I did what anyone would do, I cried for a little bit, got up and peed for a little bit, than went downstairs, grabbed the ice bag and a handful of darvaset and hit the recliner. Two hours later, the pain is manageable and I feel a little weird. The thing with painkillers I find is, unless you get the really good stuff, they dull the pain not kill it. Granted, what I have is better than say advil, tylenol or aleve, but it's not codeine, percoset or oxycontin. Although I think dr's are a wee bit hesitant to prescribe that last one.

He has to be at work at 11. It's 10:24 and he is still on the couch, I have left coffee for him and adequate time to shower and he is wasting both. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Sometimes it's just better to leave the horse alone and let the horse be late for work.

More later...


Friday, December 30, 2005

Back in Black....

I initially thought I was going to be gone forever. However, the good people at Trend Micro have developed some great anti-virus/spyware software and Carl, my computer is almost 100% back to normal. Which is more than I can say for myself.

My knee is fucked up. There is no other way to say it. I hurt it the first week of November and today on 12/29/05, I finally got someone to take me seriously. Nevermind the weeks of limping, grimacing in pain and the hundred thousand or so milligrams of ibuprofen I took. Let's not worry about the inability to sleep due to being utter agony, almost shitting out the inner lining of my stomach and not being able to take walks to keep my blood sugar at acceptable levels...let's not worry about that.

Let's just not take care of JackassJimmy cause this is a worker's comp injury. FUCK YOU DR. WALK-IN!!! After several trips to the Dr. 3 x-rays and one MRI later, I was at my wits end. I had no where to go and needed some big guns. I was talking with a friend who's mom works at the local hospital, after speaking with her she made the call to get me into a sports medicine/orthopedic surgeon.

And finally someone took my seriously. Props to EroK, Boom and Dr. L.

Now I am out of work for three weeks, could be looking at surgery, but at least someone told me there is something very wrong and that the pain I have been enduring is not just in my head. Sometimes, people do actually get hurt at work and sometimes they are not just looking for a vacation.

In other news...

Christmas has come and gone and Santa was good to me and my family. I chose to spend Christmas eve with my brother's girlfriend's family rather than my own out of not wanting to deal with the he said she said bs, although it looks as though the Hatfield and the McCoys may have come to some sort of cease fire. Hallelujah.

I'm still without a girlfriend, still jaded, and still looking at the half empty glass on the table. If this appeals to you and you like a good game of scrabble, I just got the deluxe edition for Christmas. Bring your sense of humor, vocabulary and boobs up in this motherscratcher.

I hope you all are well.


Saturday, December 24, 2005

Sunday, December 18, 2005

People Have Been...

asking me what I want for Christmas.

World Peace.
to hit the lottery for enough to pay off my student loans and go to college for the rest of my natural life.
Be cured of my diabetes.

In that order or any other would be fine. If I were able to be able to get up and watch the news, eat a bowl of frosted cheerios and not be depressed by the fact that everyone in the world wants to kill everyone else & that the only people who call me are the student loan people looking for money, life would be ok.

But I guess I am asking for too much.

Frosted Cheerios haven't been in the house in ten years. In that time I still have owe on my degree (which I have yet to use) and people have killed each other since the beginning og time.

So I guess I will settle for enough time off for my knee to heal correctly, some medicine to stop the fucking excruciating pain I am in and to not lose my job since I got hurt at work. Apparently going out on disability is worse than fucking a newborn pony and then blowing up a school bus full of nuns and children.


Nothing but savages in this town.

I hope you all are well.


Thursday, December 15, 2005

So the verdict...

is in. There is nothing wrong with my knee. I am imagining all of the pain, the loss of strength in my knee/leg and the times when it just gives on me. I guess Santa is going to bring me one of these for Christmas.

It's not the right color, but it is what I've always wanted. Just one more thing to have to strap on in the morning, and something that I am sure will smell and look just wonderful during the summer months. "Hello ladies, can I interest you in a date with Colonel Jim Bargain, the $75 man?"

I'm tired of getting the fucking runaround. I am getting a second opinion on my knee and I'm going to an orthopedist. With the amount of pain I am in and for the length of time I have been limping around like an elderly pirate, someone should be able to tell me something more than, "well it's just a little swollen." No fucking shit, Sherlock. It's mine and I see it everyday. At first I thought I was going to get some time off of work, and I did, except no one told me about it. SO...I worked for another week on a busted fucking knee.

I think I am getting fist-fucked cause this is a worker's comp claim. At this point, I'm not even looking for a state-sponsored vacation, I just want the fucking pain to stop. I can't walk, stand, or even sleep without this fucking thing giving me some form of grief. Last night, while I was trying to start my holiday shopping, I though t I was going to have to call someone to get me a wheel chair so I could get out of Target. This is not something a 32 year old dude should have to deal with.

Not to mention, on the off chance Santa decides to bring me some sex for Christmas, I am fucking broken and will have to lay there like I am getting molested by Aunt Edna. I know this entry is filled with piss and is not very fun. I will try better in the AM.

I hope you all are well.


Friday, December 09, 2005

Cold Cocked...

It was so cold tonight I wanted to kick Scott Farkus’s ass. Never the less being the fucking diehard knuckleheads my friends and I are, we gathered for a night of drinking coffee in the frozen tundra.

“W.” called and said he had a taste for booze. As I am scheduled for an MRI in the morning, I told him I couldn’t come out and play. He said he would, “be in touch.” I hung up and figured the phone would be silent for the rest of the night. No more than ten minutes later, “W.” is on the phone again.

I pick it up and before I can answer, I hear:
“Coffee…at the usual…ten minutes.”

The phone goes dead and I have my orders. I text message “W.” confirm and pull on the cold weather gear. I limp out to the F1 and fire her up. She has been idle for two days but since we have a great relationship, she starts without a fuss. I let the engine warm just long enough so it won’t explode when I put it in reverse and then pull out of the driveway. On my way to meet, “W.” it’s obvious we’re getting the first snow of the season, no one is on the road and dudes are chilling in parking lots, truck engines running, plows at the ready.

I pull into the usual and “W.” is already there. He’s already called, “Jersey Mike” and “Dirty Frenchman” so the four horsemen will convene for caffeine. We get our beverages and walk back outside so those that smoke, (everyone except me) can light up. Apparently I missed the memo on not being able to drink coffee without smoking. “W.” and Jersey light up and I mimic to bust balls…it’s what I excel at.

It’s cold but not to the point where you can’t be out. If you were dressed for it, it’s brisk at best. Jersey complains about needing fluid for his wipers and decides now is a good time to fill it. He does so, and tests it out. Fluid pours out from the underside of his car, like water into the Titanic, laughter ensues.

Dirty Frenchman or “df” for short texts me and says, “he’s busy.” Translation: it’s to cold for him. As soon as I find out “df” isn’t coming, “Soon to be dead Vinny” and “The Guy” show up. At this point Jersey Mike, “W.” and myself have moved inside. “The Guy” comes to the window and puts his hands together in a semi-diamond shape to signify we’re pussies for being inside. “W.” gets another beverage and we head back into the tundra.

Vinny shows up with a girl who looks young for him and total jailbait for the rest of us. “The Guy” asks what it’s like having old man blood and we give him the stinkeye and tell him to take it easy. We all bullshit a shorter than normal time and Jersey and “W” take off. Vinny and “cotton candy panties” have mysteriously taken off and left “The Guy” stranded. He tells me he needs a job, that he will spend tomorrow night at a winter ball with, “The Girl” and that his child is doing well. We both agree that 2/3 of those things are the shits.

Vinny and “sweatpants boner” are gone for what seems like forever. In reality it’s just over an hour. My allegiance to “The Guy” is being tested by the cold. Had Vinny not come back when he did, I might have had to leave “The Guy” hanging. Vinny tells “The Guy” that junior varsity just drove around and around and maid multiple moves on him. Vinny says he fought off all attempts but “The Guy” and I are calling bullshit. While Vinny argues his case, “The Guy’s” phone rings and it’s the hook-up. The kick is up and it is good. I get to get in the F1 and go home and “Soon to be dead Vinny and The Guy” take off to pick up an ounce of the Chron-dizzle.

Ahhhhhh… be young and unfettered by responsibility again.

I hope you all are well.


Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It's a good...

thing I don't have a hammer near by, otherwise, some of my favorite shit would be broken. Carl, my computer, would probably be my first victim. I love my computer but there are some things that just drive me batshit. Being overtired is one of them.

I have listened to relaxing music, put hot water bottle on my shitty knee, listened to an hour and a half of audio book, and masturbated until I had one of those orgasms that makes your eyes cross as you have a brain spasm.


It's fucking 6:10 in the AM and part of me feels I should just stay up. If I don't I will sleep through the better part of the day. While it is my weekend and this is not such a big deal, I hate wasting time in bed. Fucking stupid nightshift. This is the thanks I get for helping someone out. Need to go to the PC basketball game? Sure, I'll switch with you, you poison-elf, hitler-esque, american eagle wearing motherfucker.

Overtired was something invented by a total asshole. It was designed by some fucking jerk who on managed to make it into work after getting fucked in the ass all night by his wife and on top of that he has a hangover. This guys boss asked him to design a new product, and the son of a bitch came up with, "OVERTIRED." Fuck you, you lackluster, mouth breathing, armpit ring and public toilet shit-stain. Congratulations on a job well done. Now go home and blow the back of your head out with a shot gun, or blow a horse, whichever would give you less pleasure.

Sitting here typing this, I just realized if I had a glass of wine, I might be a sleep by now. However, I'm not going to try and solve my problems with some cheap table wine.

Rodeo clowns man.....

Everybody needs one of their own. I'll tell you what man, mine would be punching in for some overtime right now. No gloves, just bare-knuckle brawling and you bet your last dollar that my Scots-Irish, Angry...Thrifty...Mic ass is coming out on top.

Happy Birthday Larry...

just think, you were almost a garbage man.

Wound up...

I was lucky enough to work the night shift today. I hate working the night shift for a variety of reasons. First, the people who work the night shift are a bunch of fucking morons. Second, when I am working the night shift, I tend to wake up an hour before work, thus wasting most of my day. Finally, working until 11pm only to have to be back in at 7am is just a fucking kick in the ass, but I digress.

Working the night shift does have its benefits. I can't really think of to many right now, and I may even be lying about there being benefits but, for the most part, there is lest time being spent with the Agency guests, cause they are going to sleep. On the flipside, you end up working with people who have less common sense than tupperware. They bark orders, instigate the guests and just stupid shit that the brilliant minds on the day shift can avoid. However, one also has to put up with coworkers being so fucking lazy, dead people are more productive.

My knee is still killing me. It feels as though it's being held together with balsa wood and chewing gum. I have been to the doctors 3 times in the past 2 weeks and I am going for an MRI on Friday. Fuck you Agency, I'm taking the day out! The downside is I will be missing a new Agent who has been coming in to make some "adjustments" to the program. Such is life.

A coworker familiar with my injury told me it can go one of two ways, I will either be up and on my feet in a week or two, or and wait for it...out for three to six months with or without rehab. I can't tell how I feel about either of these options. While I know I will get bored being home and not doing much, I am still considerably pissed off that work just kind of overlooked my injury, which from my understanding of somewhat serious.

Plus, though I don't have a social life, I have decided to go to Boston on 1.31.06 to see Less Than Jake. Since they're not coming any closer, and I was to lazy to go last time to Providence, and I have the following two days off...there's no reason not to go. Plus punk rawk hotties, make-a me wanna do-da-cha-cha.

I'm chilling after work. I've had some coffee and there are about 32 things on my mind but I will save them so that I have something to post about tomorrow. The rest of the evening may be filled with video games or maybe some sleepy. Tomorrow in lieu of my usual breakfasts, I am going to the movies. I think if I give up the salty, cholesterol laden breakfasts, and avoid movie theater fare, I can avoid a heart attack for another fortnight.

I'm still listening to idobi radio as I type this. I really can't say enough good things about them. Having a radio station streaming nothing but the rock and alternative is just the bees knees, which coincidentally, are much more stable than mine, at this point in time.

I hope you all are well.


Sunday, December 04, 2005

Neo Maxi-zundweebi

You say goodbye and I say hello. Maybe a little bit to talk about, maybe a lot. My mind wanders from time to time and the incomplete thoughts rarely inspire complete sentences. Winter being my time for reflection, regrouping and recouping. Today was the first real snow, some actual accumulation. I opened my front door and stepped out in the marshmallow blanketed neighborhood. Luckily I leave early enough for work that most of the snow is still untouched and clean, somwhat of a perk for having to be up at O'Dark Thirty.

Last Tuesday went and saw this.

It was very fun & entertaining and I have to say I do enjoy the darker elements of the series making more of an appearance. To me this is the strongest release in the series and the direction was spot on. Kudos to cast and crew. This week I want to check out the latest in cartoon to celluloid releases. I have been a fan of this series since the individual episodes were show on Mtv's first foray into animation and non-video programming. This may have been where the network went bad. If I do actually get out to see the flick, I'll be sure to let you know how it was.

In other news...

My favorite site for the "legal" purchase of mp3's is under investigation and as a result, I have terminated my membership and registration to the site. The site operated out of Russia and sold mp3s of new and relatively new releases at dirt cheap prices. Often you were able to buy and artists newest release for about $1.50. Take that iTunes. Well it seems these folks are now being looked at by the Russian feds, who I'm sure are about as credible as a drunken clown, with a plastic sheriff's badge. Nonetheless, Jackass is getting out before things get ugly.

While I was lamenting the loss of one source of music, I stumbled onto another. If you are fortunate enough to not use realplayer and have iTunes, you will be able to stream music that doesn't suck through iTunes. I have been happily clackity-clacking away for most of the night, with out having to listen to one goddamn Jessica Simpson-esque bullshits song. Now, that's music to my ears.

I hope you all are well.