Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It's a good...

thing I don't have a hammer near by, otherwise, some of my favorite shit would be broken. Carl, my computer, would probably be my first victim. I love my computer but there are some things that just drive me batshit. Being overtired is one of them.

I have listened to relaxing music, put hot water bottle on my shitty knee, listened to an hour and a half of audio book, and masturbated until I had one of those orgasms that makes your eyes cross as you have a brain spasm.

AND STILL I AM AWAKE!!!

It's fucking 6:10 in the AM and part of me feels I should just stay up. If I don't I will sleep through the better part of the day. While it is my weekend and this is not such a big deal, I hate wasting time in bed. Fucking stupid nightshift. This is the thanks I get for helping someone out. Need to go to the PC basketball game? Sure, I'll switch with you, you poison-elf, hitler-esque, american eagle wearing motherfucker.

Overtired was something invented by a total asshole. It was designed by some fucking jerk who on managed to make it into work after getting fucked in the ass all night by his wife and on top of that he has a hangover. This guys boss asked him to design a new product, and the son of a bitch came up with, "OVERTIRED." Fuck you, you lackluster, mouth breathing, armpit ring and public toilet shit-stain. Congratulations on a job well done. Now go home and blow the back of your head out with a shot gun, or blow a horse, whichever would give you less pleasure.

Sitting here typing this, I just realized if I had a glass of wine, I might be a sleep by now. However, I'm not going to try and solve my problems with some cheap table wine.

Rodeo clowns man.....

Everybody needs one of their own. I'll tell you what man, mine would be punching in for some overtime right now. No gloves, just bare-knuckle brawling and you bet your last dollar that my Scots-Irish, Angry...Thrifty...Mic ass is coming out on top.

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