Thursday, March 30, 2006

Fear does not...

exist in this dojo...does it?!?!?!

I've been back to work now for a couple of days. Right now, (not actually in the real world) it's sunday for me. See, when you work at the Agency, unless you are one of the chosen few, you never...ever get weekends off. It's just something that never happens. So as a result, my weekend falls on wed/thursday. It's not as bad as it sounds, I'm not a huge drinker. I mean, I've been known to tear it up on occassion but for the most part. I don't live for the traditional "weekend" to go out and abuse my liver.


Today I had to go in for training. Of course training always falls on my day off...cause why wouldn't it? Why should I be able to have two solid days off? We were being tested to make sure our h2h skills are up to speed & to make sure we are using, "Agency approved" take down methods. To be perfectly honest...If someone is trying to fuck my shit up, in the immortal words of Emilio Estevez, "me hitting hittin' the floor." I took the high road before and look what it got me. A three month, barely paid vacation. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and mentioned how I haven't been this broke since high school. Saving the world from evil and taking the shit I do is a tough racket when, at the end of the week, you can't even pay your rent. Nothing but savages I tell you.

I was not able to complete all of the training, this makes me angry. This was a dry run for our national certification next month. The knee is good, but I'm still not able to put all the weight on it. Some of the single person take downs are damn near imposssible. Fuck it...nothing ever goes down by the book anyway.

In other news...

Been reading Chuck Palahniuk's book, Lullaby. It's good. All I will say is that the concept surrounding the book is good and that a "lullaby" is a driving force in the plot. I have put myself in the place of the main character and I have to tell you, I can't decide whether or not it is a good or a bad thing. If nothing else, this book has made me want to read Fight Club. Read fight club you say? Yes, read fight club. Apparently, I am the only person on the planet who didn't enjoy this film. However, Palahniuk's writing forces me to consider the fact that I might enjoy reading the aforementioned film. We'll see.

That's about all I have for a sunday night. I think there maybe a sandwich and maybe a coffee in my near future, but I could be wrong.

I hope you all are well.


Baby it's warm...


The weather yesterday was phenomenal. I drove by banks who's thermometers read 75 degrees. I don't know about all that but it was at least 65 and that is a welcome change from all of the, "holyfuckohmygodicantbeleiveitstheendofmarchanditsstill100belowzeroout" bullshit we've been experiencing. Still, summer can't come fast enough for me. I mean...other than warmer days and nicer weather, I really have no cause for wanting summer to get her asap. It's not like I'm a pro-surfer or a stawberry farmer. Not a life gaurd or that kid in high school labled, "the bad seed" with a chip on his shoulder and a hog the size of Nebraska in his dickies. I just think I pine for summer cause people seem to be more relaxed and a little more forgiving. Now that I think about it, that's why in the pristine weather yesterday, I watched a mother scream at her young son, like he was the child she never, ever wanted. Too much of that shit going around and with any luck, she'll get hers.

I went on a hunt for a new bookstore yesterday. After breakfast, I drove and drove and drove some more. When I finally arrived at said destination, it was closed. Not like closed for the day or forever, but closed like it didn't open for another hour. Imitating John "Sunshine on my goddamn Shoulders" Denver, I jumped back in the F1 and drove and drove and drove some more. I was about 30 miles away from Hartford when I figured I should turn around. So I did and on my way back, in the middle of a sleepy little CT town, Putnam, I found another bookstore. I didn't stop cause traffic was a bitch and there was no place within a ten mile radius to park but I referenced it for the next sunny day drive.

Today includes going to a bullshits training at work, chores around the hizzo and maybe some reading...I'm not sure, I might not have time for all that fun. At any rate, I hope you all are well.


Saturday, March 25, 2006

Not on strike...

Nine thirty and I’ve been up for almost four hours. Shit has to get done today and I need to get back into the swing of getting up early. I’m excited about going back to work on Monday, but to honest, it’s more about making the real paycheck than anything else. The time off has been good and has allowed me to heal, but to be honest, I don’t think I’ve been this broke since I was in high school. Scary huh?

Still on the metal kick. Yesterday, I visited with my friend, Mike Z, the manager from Hell at Newbury comics, and picked up Alive or Just Breathing by Killswitch Engage, as well as Never Take Friendship Personal, by anberlin. I’m still undecided on the anberlin record, there are a couple of tracks that totally kick ass but I’m not yet sold on the disc as a whole. Alive or Just Breathing is a great disc. Jesse Leach, former Killswitch Engage frontman, has the best voice in metal. It’s interesting to see the progression he has made from his days with the Providence evil core outfit, Corrin. Since Leach’s departure from Killswitch Engage, he now spends time working a day job and fronting, Seemless, yet another Massachusetts band lucky enough to receive Leach’s vocal Midas touch.

I was rocking out to Alive or Just Breathing on my walk home from the mechanics this morning. There is nothing better than waking up at all most the end of March to find snow flurries coming down at a disconcerting pace. I believe, “What the fuck?” came out of my mouth at an unreasonable volume for 5am. Like Leeroy Jenkins, “at least I had coffee” this morning. I thought my mechanic opened earlier than 7 and so I drove to T-Ho’s for a cafĂ© mocha and a bagel. When I dropped my car off, my guy told me it should be done by Noon and to come and get it. Problem is, he never answers the phone after Noon so if I walk up, and it’s not done…I’m shit outta luck. I suppose I could go to T-Ho’s for more caffeine, or the comic book store, to spend more money I don’t have, but those options are not really in my best interest.

In other news…

I found a bunch of people I used to work with at Crank of America, on myspace yesterday. COA was never the kind of place that would let you get a sense of who you were working with, but to look at these profiles, scary man…just scary. Tonight, if my luck is good, and the car is set to go, I’m going to go catch a flick. Not sure what. I’d like to see Ultraviolet but I have been hearing some bad shit about that one. Then again, everyone has been raving about V for Vendetta. I hate when people rave about a flick. If they are professional critics, they have been paid off. If they are the average Joe, most of the time our tastes don’t jive. Whatever…something will be seen.

I hope you all are well.


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

You wanna know what the toughest thing about being a diabetic is? Besides all of the fucking chemical havok that shit wreaks on your body, I don't know a diabetic that is not hungry. My dad has been a diabetic for as long as I can remember. Medicine has advanced greatly in my thirty years on the planet. People always said, "eat right, exercise, lose weight and your blood sugars will be fine." My dad lost enough weight to be the equivalent of another person, never eats anything he wants to, and exercises as much as time allows, (which is at least 30 minutes daily.)

Is he perfect? Of course not, the man will occassionally, and by occassionally I mean twice a year, eat something tasty, but his blood sugars are all over the place even taking his medicine, and following doctors orders religiously. Why all the diabetes talk you ask?

Cause I have it too.

It's something that never goes away. There is no cure, and diabetes reminds you it's around all day long. From feeling as though you are going to collapse cause your sugars are too low, too feeling as though you are going to pass out cause maybe you had too much pasta at a meal. Now, yes, it's possible to live a full life and keep blood glucose levels under control...just ask Wilford Brimley, Tommy Lee, and B.B. King but do you have to deny yourself everyday? You bet your ass.

Both my father and I have had doctor's tell us in layman's terms, "if it tastes good, don't eat it." Awesome, so bowls of dogshit for the rest of my life and I will live to be 70 if I'm lucky. If heart attack, blindness, stroke, amputation due to poor circulation or infection doesn't get me.

Sorry for the negative but in case you can't guess, my blood sugar is on the high side.

I hope you all are well.


Friday, March 17, 2006

Erin Go Bragh!!!

So here I am, awake at 4:15am on this, the greatest of holidays, St. Patrick’s Day, and I am drinking…coffee.  No need for more abuse than absolutely necessary.  I’m thinking about being totally clichĂ© and going to the parade and then maybe someplace to get a corned beef brisket sandwich and maybe a Guinness or two.  Part of me feels compelled as I owe it to the Citrus Queen™.  We spent two good St. Paddy’s days, among a few others, three sheets to the wind, without a care in the world.  Winowhere will do that to a person.

I didn’t post at all yesterday and I’m not sure why.  Could have been the lackluster response to my three post Tuesday, but I need to remember is that it’s not about the hits or the comments, it’s about getting what’s locked up in my head out.  I’ve been feeling less than normal lately, this does not include the ever dissipating pain in my knee (Praise God!) nor the case of the congestisniffs I seem to have had for the better part of three months.  I don’t know if I’m losing my grasp on things, I mean I don’t think so, as I don’t feel fucking crazy and believe me, I’ve been to the edge before.

Now that I am actually thinking about it, instead of trying to sleep or ignore everything important in my life through video games, reading and the ever dwindling interweb, this new sense of uncertainty seems to be coming from my own self doubt.  I recently decided my next move is to become a teacher.  I will have to go back to college and double major in education and English, but when I’m done, I will be able to go out and help young people.  Yes, nursing is something which would allow me to help people as well, but when it comes down to it, I started college as a secondary ed major and was told I was not smart enough to get into the program.  I was not smart enough to get into the program but I was smart enough to still be accepted into the college and have them take my $$$.  Whatever, no more bitching, I love adversity and I love being able to stick it to those who told me I couldn’t.

So as far as I am concerned, I am telling the little voice in the back of my head to go fuck itself cause I have a plan and a mission.  The only thing that can stop me now is me.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Things I care...

so little about I almost passed out. I was driving to dinner with my brother, his gf and the parents when I heard of a new reality show in the works. Celebrity Food Fight was the title that made my asshole pucker. The premise of the show is celebrities go to the market to find the ingredients, bring them back to real, accomplished chefs and then the meal is prepared. Oh and all of this has to be done in 90 minutes. Both Star Jones and Burt Reynolds said they would be very interested in participating, should the show make it into a weekly run. know what gets me about this? Food Network was the last network I had any sort of respect for cause they hadn't sold out. Now this crap....Star Jones?...Burt fucking Reynolds?....Are you fucking kidding me?

In other news...

Coming to you live from the Nerdery: Today gamers world-wide, (myself included) were waiting to hear what Sony Chief, Ken Kutaragi was going to say about the Playstation 3. Let the record show at this point...I don't even care anymore. There have been so many delays and rumors and whatnot, that unless the console comes bundled with $100,000,00 in cash or a unit to suck my dick, I am in no hurry to purchase one. Games on my PS2 are still impossible enough to sustain my frustration, and by frustration I mean enjoyment for at least another year or two. Here are some of the lowlights.

† PS3™ will launch in Japan, Europe and North America in early November 2006. Wow only 9 more months for you to wait before the shelves are emptier than Paris Hilton's head. I'm sure when it comes available for pre-ordering, those tickets are going to mean about as much as an, "I'm sorry" from Dick Cheney. Released just in time to ruin the holiday seasons of parents and children alike. The rioting will be recockulous, like shit we haven't seen since the glory days of the Xavier Robert's Cabbage Patch Debacle. But hell, aren't the holidays about killing one another over oil, I mean presents, I mean religion?

† Captain Ken confirmed the PS2™ will continue to retail for $149.99. There will be no price drop until long after the release of the PS3™. Thanks Ken, we've only been waiting for the PS3 to launch about as long as most christians have for the second coming of Christ.

† There will be great advances and releases for the PSP™. Great...
sorry Ken, I love your products and company and video games, but I'm not shelling out $250 for a PSP™. I have never been a fan of portable gaming, never owned a gameboy or anything like it. Last time I rocked a hand held, I was scoring touchdowns with Mattle Electronics™. It's cool the PSP™ team is doing great and wonderous things, but from what I hear, the PS3™ development team could use a hand. Remember Ken, there is no I in team.

I could go on but you can check out the rest of the sheeyat over here.

This is what I currently have my teeth in right now. Klosterman does a good job at taking a look at pop culture from the thinking persons POV. Even though I am only about a third of the way through I like the essay style of the chapters, as well as the often humorous footnotes. I will go ahead and stamp my Called Out seal of approval on this one.

In closing, Friday is St. Patrick's Day. If you're of Irish decent, Erin Go Braugh! Remember that negative sterotypes come in all ethnicities and colors and even though we are God's favorite sons and daughters, enjoy yourselves without needing someone to pick you up out of the gutter or a puddle of your own fluids. Everyone wants to be Irish on St. Paddy's day but no one wants to be the sack of shit passed out on the front stoop by two in the afternoon. The same goes for you non-Celts. Just cause it's a drinkin' holiday does not me you can swill like booze is never gonna be made again, while wearing your, "kiss me, I'm shitfaced" tshirt, act like an asshole and not expect some (hopefully) 50 year old man named Paddy, or Fitzy or Murph to knock your fucking ass out for being disrespectful. We're a proud people and it goes a lot farther than Blarney stones, U2 and corned beef & cabbage.

Those things having been said, I'm gonna go practice smiling and being happy. From the tone of this post, I'm sure you'll think it never happens.

I hope you all are well.


P.S. None of this bullshit either!


3:37 and I have just finished my FIRST cup of coffee. That will tell you what kind of day I've been having. Lotsa bs errands to take care of today. Dropped some stuff off at work I needed to keep from being fired, as well as keep my health insurance....this is muy importante!

After went to CVS...hate, hate, HATE! that fucking place, but it's where I pick up my drugs. The ones that keep me alive and not the ones that make me dance the hully-gully. Before both of the aforementioned things there was my final physical therapy appointment. It went well and the knee feels pretty good. I'd give it high 80% if not in the 90's. There is always going to be some lack of flexibility, it just comes with my age, my weight, and the abuse my hinges have taken over the years.

That said, I have to go to dinner tonight with my parents. I'm assuming my brother and possibly the gf are going to be there. I like the gf, I really do, but she mentioned something about PETA being rediculous and who the fuck thinks that except, puppy-hating republicans? I respect peoples right to eat meat or not eat meat, to wear fur or not wear fur, to vegan kosher or not vegan kosher, but to come out and make a comment about, "People who think PETA is a good idea being annoying"...that just chaps my ass. I don't know, maybe I'm wound a little tight, maybe I should just let it go?

At any rate, I am currently playing Star Wars Battlefront, the first one, cause it's $19.99 and I'm also reading, "Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs" by Chuck Klosterman. I recommend both however the Battle for Endor in single player mode, IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!

I hope you all are well.


Taylor Mali

For the uninitiated, Taylor Mali is a poet. Taylor has been on championship caliber teams from Providence, RI & New York and has a way with words that can make your head spin. He features wherever he can and is always up for a game of Scrabble.™ Taylor has appeared on several episodes of Russell Simmon's, Def Poetry to the delight of viewers worldwide. Taylor, a former school teacher, has made it is personal mission to recruit 1000 new teachers through his poetry. While not quite there yet, to hear him perform, "What Teachers Make" is enough to inspire anyone to take up the cause for education.

Taylor recently posted a 202 word sentence in his journal. Not to shabby. If you are not of the slam poetry persuasion, at least give his journal a look. (link posted below) He's a pretty interesting guy with a lot to say. In a time in age of many people talking about nothing, Taylor is a breath of fresh air.

I hope you all are well.


Taylor Mali - Journal

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

There is some kind of death squad running through my body and it's not a good time. I have been feeling like the proverbial "dogshite" for the past 4-5 days. Some type of virus that masquerades as a cold/headache/cough-cough/sniffles/stuffy head/oh wait, we forgot to tell you you're gonna blow out your anus disease.

I have a serious case of ring-sting, bunghole en fuego, bungsoon, bungnami, bungicaine , bungdoom and if I have to spend anymore time on the toilet, (who has graciously decided to not donkey punch me and overflow) I'm just gonna take off my pants and sleep nude in the back yard until its over. One way or another, I come out on top.

Looks like this dude pressed his luck one time too many. It's too bad he was doing volunteer medical flight work when he bit it. It's nice to see people from Hollyweird doing good deeds, you know giving something back. For the uninitiated, that's Peter Tomarken, host of Press Your Luck. Yes, the no whammies...STOP! game. Sorry about the lack of hangtime dude, you will be missed.

Ok, back to me...

Yeah I'm really hungry and trying to figure out what the hell I am going to eat that is not going to make me shit like I have a wild strain of ebola in me. Something is telling me hash and eggs is not the best idea. However, I know this to be true most of the time. Maybe just a bagel with some cream cheese and a cup of tea. Nothing to volatile there eh? Maybe if your lucky I will let you all know how that goes depending on whether or not I have to hunker down on the ass bunker again.

I'm not listening to anything good today. I was listening to the audiobook version of Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. I like it. I cant stay awake through it but it's kind of like having someone there to tell you a bed time story whenever you want.

I hope you all are well.



Sunday, March 12, 2006

If you can look at this picture and not think: laundry, games of pool/foosball, jukebox selections or dinner a la vending machine, congratulations, you've moved on from college.

Sunday, bloody Sunday. No, I'm not talking about the U2 song, being up on a Sunday without something to do has just always seemed a little off to me. Sunday is the day of rest, I mean come on, "the Man" said so. However practically ever type of business is open on Sunday, even some banks. If I remember correctly, this pissed someone off and they went into the temple and flipped some shit just to let people know what was up, who was in charge and what not to do on, "the day of rest." See, he wasn't just a peace n' love, dirty hippy.

So here I sit, clackity-clacking for you, for me, for anyone willing to listen. I listen all the time. Not to myself though. If I did, I'd be in better heath, better spirits and probably better of financially. C'est la vie, why even bother looking at it. Hindsight is always 20/20 and if I get any more cliche in this post, please remind me to kill myself.

Sunday is my favorite day...when I don't have to work. These past couple of months off of work have spoiled me, but also reminded me that I need to get out of my line of work. Find something a little more suited to my likes and dislikes. After some soul searching, I finally know what that one thing is and now it's time to persue it. I'm not going to mention any details here cause if I do, I'm afraid my dreams will turn into nothing more than hot air. So for now we'll keep them under wraps until I have started to go down that path.

Breakfast with coffee, the internet, while listening to Bob Mould's magnificent band, Sugar on a gray Sunday morning, it doesn't get much better than this.

Well I guess it could, but not for me, at least not this week.

If you can look at this picture and think: busfare, lunch/gas money, a little jingle towards prescriptions, welcome to the wonderful world of adulthood.

I hope you all are well.


Monday, March 06, 2006


My fucking toilet is on the Mondale, if you know what I mean. It flushes and then decides if it is going to donkey punch me or not. This is a new development and I'm sure I'm not in favor of this being an everyday thing. Maybe this is the result of my impulse buy of a blender and the smoothie binge that I went on. Not that this caused any sort of Herculean bowel movements, but my enjoying anything in life, well that just can't be good.

It's late, I should be sleeping but I am enjoying the night time freedom as long as I can. I'm sure I will be going back to work sometime soon so I need to bask in the glory that is not having to get up. A sane person would not be drinking the coffee I am drinking at such a late hour. This shit is delicious but barely human by any stretch of the imagination. It's the kind of coffee that Bob Kelso would describe as, "putting a hop in your step and your ass in the john." Watch out toilet...I'm coming for you.

Chilling and listening to the Garden State soundtrack. It's a good one and probably one of my favorites in awhile. Waiting for the "W" to call me with details of why his night was so bad. I love when I get text messages about friends running covert ops, and they refuse to give any info at all.'d think by this age we'd all be over that shit. At any rate, Colin Hay can sing his ass off. That dude is just talented and I often wonder about the demise of Men At Work. Was their time up? Was there infighting in the bad? Or did everyone want to take their spoils and go and lives the lives they had planned for themselves, before they became wildly famous?

Either way I'm still glad Colin has resurfaced both in the music and performing circles. Seeing him on the second season of Scrubs was hilarious. I'm also pleased this is the first time in a few weeks I've been able to sit here and clackity-clack and not be freezing my twig and berries off. This could be the start of something wonderful.

I hope you all are well.


Sunday, March 05, 2006

The New Regime...

I just came back from Tim Horton's. Not only was I in and out of the drive-thru in less than two minutes, I got courteous service, hot coffee, and after just finishing my cup, I "rolled up the rim and won a free coffee." Sunday is shaping up to be ok.



Still think we are there to liberate and free people?

This is nothing more that assault, possibly attempted murder. Fuck this war, fuck the president and fuck those cowardly limey fucking scumbags.

Nothing like 4-5 on 1. Especially when the Iraqui kids are begging to not be beat. They should fucking hang the cameraman from a bridge and set his ass on fire.

People wonder why this coalition is hated so much?

There is your answer.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

This week has...

been somewhat wacky. Nothing really out of the ordinary, but just a few things here and there. It snowed again, which was fan-fucking-tastic. I love shoveling. Anyway, like I was saying, nothing very out of the ordinary. The trainers at the center for orthopaedics, where I go three times a week to torture my knee, have decided to up my weights this week. I have only recently started to work my hamstrings, which if any of you have had a knee injury you've had to rehab, know is the same as asking to be brutally tortured. So my weights went up and after they measured to see how much flexibility I have regained.....they decided to raise my weights again.

Hold on, hold on to yourself, cause this is gonna hurt like hell...... Thanks Sarah but I think I can handle it from here.

So about two nights ago, I was hit with a bout of insomnia. I managed to tire myself out by about 4am and hit the hay. I woke a little after 7:30am, remembering bits and pieces of a dream and feeling as though I had been hit by a truck. One thing I noticed along time ago, after I had stopped partaking of the herbal enchantment, I was able to remember my dreams. This can either be a good or bad thing. For me, a self-proclaimed writer, this was a good thing. Thursday night I had a dream where the majority of females I have ever gone to school with or in some cases even met once...aske me to have sex with them.

All of these invitations came via cellphone of course. Which makes me wonder how the girl I would have thrown myself to the wolves for in gradeschool, (who turned into the town bike in high school) got my cell #. Anyway, in the dream I drove from one rendevous to another, never actually meeting any of the prospective "fuckers" if you will, just driving from one phone call to the next.

When I finally awoke, what seemed like after 20 minutes of sleep, I was so flabbergasted at the nature of the dream, I needed some time awake to either think or not think about it. Part of me thought it was my subconscious telling me, "YOU REALLY NEED TO GET LAID." Part of me thought it may have been cause I was contacted by roadhead this week and another part of me just felt it was a random experience. Regardless, I felt so horrid when I awoke, I knew enough not to put coffee in me. I had a huge cup of chai and after knew more bed was in order. I awoke somewhere after 11am feeling much, much better.


I received my Emergen-c energy booster "with joint health" in it yesterday. I know I have told you all about the healing wonders this stuff is for hangovers. Well, let me just tell you this, I am about 3 packages in and already the pain in my damaged knee has subsided noticably. Do I think it's a, but I do think anything that helps me to feel less pain is good. I was able to take a nap this afternoon, in a semi-comfortable position and woke up feeling rested and refreshed, without having to kick-start my leg.

During my nap I had another odd dream, this one was a little more tame but still worth mentioning. I had a dream that I was meeting Tony Pierce for lunch. I don't know if I was interviewing him or what but he had agreed to meet me and hang out for a bit. Tony showed me around his place and then we went someplace to dine outside, eat great food and drink sangria. I thought this odd as I had never heard Tony mention sangria, but what the hell do I know about LA right? I'm from the asshole of the east coast. Lunch was good, and I can't remember specifics but I felt as though I had a great time. Tony encouraged me to blog more and just relax and it would all happen for me as long as I was honest with myself and everyone else.

(SIDENOTE:I am for the most part, but if there are things I think will hurt those I love or careabout, I will either phrase them very delicately or not at all.) Tony thanked me for the time and I told him the pleasure was all mine. We shook hands and like the old, old Star Trek, Bro disappeared like Scotty was beaming him up. See guess you don't really need a car in LA!

Sometimes the biggest forms of inspiraish, come in the form of the smallest naps.

I hope you all are well.


Thursday, March 02, 2006


Checkout some photos of Winter-y goodness with Boom!

Check out more photo goodness with Dave!!

Then make your self a smoothie and enjoy a huge bowel movement!


I dont crush...

I just hate a lot.

I’m many things. A nice guy, a guy with good taste in music, a guy who has read a few books, a guy who has traveled a bit, a guy who has a good sense of humor, a guy your mom and dad will love.

One thing I am not, I am not the guy to be fucking with.

I am not a guy who is going to put up with endless amounts of bullshit from you, especially if you have not previously broken my heart. If you haven’t penetrated the inner-cockles of my heart by now, good luck.

“Well Jackass Jimmy, sounds like you are an unforgiving, miserable, heartless bastard.” One moment my friend! While I will give you that Winter & morning in general can make me curmudgeonly and sometimes miserable, this is not my overall disposition. As for unforgiving, I have forgiven those in need as well as those deserving. Do I do it a lot…not really, but does anyone? Heartless, I know this not to be true because I have swept my heart up off the floor many, many times.

See when someone knocks on your door after several weeks of no contact, one has to be suspicious, at least I do. You wanna be cute and play the text message game, that’s fine, I can do that and get shit accomplished at the same time…I’m a multi-tasker. I’m doing laundry and scratching the inside of my asshole as I type this. However like the masters before me, MiYagi and Yoda, JackassJimmY has also been blessed with the Y. As in Y you gotta fuck with me?

Karate yes or karate no, karate guess so…squish like grape. Do or do not…there is no try.

Talking and talking and talking, about the weather, about showers, about other inane bullshit is like getting a handjob from that chick in high school. You know the one I’m talking about. She never really liked you, she just wanted to go out for the free grub and movie, and to offer the worst handjob ever, just so she could tell everyone how small your dick was and how badly she blueballed you.

Fuck that.

That should be considered criminal on some level. At any rate, I’m up,(no pun intended) I have had my first cup of coffee for the day, and things are shaping up to be bloggerific. Maybe I will relax later on. Maybe monkeys will fly out of my but too.

I hope you all are well.



Pregnant in 30 minutes or less!!!

Pizza Magnate Seeks Catholic-Governed Town - Yahoo! News

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I know I...

have mentioned my distain for Winter lately & I also know Spring is right around the corner, but it can't come fast enough.

today, when my physical therapist mentioned we're due for another 2-4 inches, I just hung my head like I farted in class. I have been out of work for over two months, with a knee that feels as though its in pieces and though the therapy is helping, I have had to shovel a shitload of snow without any help from a more than capable brother. So forgive me if I don't share in everyone's joy over the chance to make one more snowman.

Moving right along...

I did something today I haven't done in a long time. I came home from pt, had a bite to eat, threw on some music and took a nice afternoon nap. I haven't done this since college and forgotten what a wonderful thing the afternoon snooze is.

200 years ago back in 1998, my roommate and I would often come home from class and if there were not meetings or study sessions to attend, &/or we didn't feel up to marathon NHL '99 sessions, often there was "the snooze." Depending on our level of exhaustion, our options were (most often) bed, but on occassion there was the huge couch that would allow us to sleep comfortably head to foot. (Keep in mind this was a standard dorm room, it's wasn't like we were living in an apartment on or off campus.) The playlist for the snooze was short and very, very selective and difficult to get on.

1. Miles Davis: Sketches of Spain / Kind of Blue
2. Tony Bennett: All Time Greatest Hits
3. Enigma: Enigma3: Le Roi Est Morte, Vive Le Roi!
4. Ani DiFranco: Dilate
5. Third Eye Blind: Third Eye Blind

Our door was always open and constantly people would come in and find us snoozing, sometimes under throws, sometimes not, but always be it man or woman, they would stare like a confused puppy at the sight of two men on a huge couch. It got to the point where people would come in and not say anything. This grew old and if they did not speak within 30 seconds or so, roomie or I would just point to the door. Most people got the hint, with the exception of Citrus Queen, but she was exempt from this and many other rules, as she was the Queen and had carte blanche of waking us up too.

So when I settled down under my 30 degree and up blanket, with BT's Satellite on repeat, I was a little sad to wake up in my house, sans roomie. However, I thought of some good times, great friends and remembered the importance of staying well rested.

I hope you all are well.


It's been a...

tough week already. We've lost Don Knotts and Darren McGavin and if anyone is lucky...Dick Cheney will drop dead in about ten minutes. We couldn't get that lucky cause then it would be open season on W's ass.


I haven't been posting much lately, not really sure why. I've had thoughts and opinions, saw a movie or two, even listened to a cd. Sometimes baring all for everyone becomes somewhat of a burden. Now, I'm not saying I find my blog burdensome, if anything the complete opposite, but lately there have been times when despite the ungodly amount of coffee consumed... I am actually tired. I am taking this as a sign from my body to go to bed. The inevitable return to work looms probably just over the weekend and well, I'm ready.

The knee is not 100% but I don't think it is ever going to be again. I will continue the therapy but I think the rest of the healing lies within time and prayers. "Did he just say prayers?" Yep, he did. Not to get all Jesus-y on anyone, I have been getting more in touch with my spiritual side, and not in that way you sickos. It's just something I have struggled with for the better part of my life. There was a time when blind obediance was part of my vocabulary, kind of like supporting your president.

Then I learned about free-thinking, free will, and discention. I learned it's ok to have an opinion outside of the norm and that there are people who, when they are not dying for oil or to make the richest motherfuckers on the planet even richer, are defending my life and personal freedoms. Grateful, of course I am. It just sucks good people have to get jammed up and in some cases die cause the US Government is fucked. That's all I have to say about that...

Moving right along...

Last night I was wired on coffee and tempted to post but my ramblings would have been less intelligible than Beckett's best stream of consciousness stuff. Occassionally, I will get a case of "cornholio" and just want to pontificate about nothing in general.

It's times like these that naps or marathon video gaming sessions are very helpful. Yes, if I were a crayon, I would be the color of, "dork."
During the college, the purple haze may have been just as effective, but those days are long gone.

Last night was interesting in that I had several revelations:

1. I'm too tense/high strung/ up-tight.
Could be the coffee, could just be part of who I am but the more I think about it. The more I realize I don't let myself have any fun. (Boom, now is not the time to chime in) Part of the new year will include sporadic letting go. Whether or not it is documented here has not been determined yet.

2. You need to live life to have something to write about.
I think many people/bloggers, myself included, think life is just going to happen around them and provide for endless material to post on. This is not true. There are only so many posts one can read about Grey's Anatomy or the lastest episode of the "L" word. After a while, no one gives a fuck anymore.

3. Have sex with every redhead, every other brunette and every third blonde you can.
I have no idea where this idea came from but it was revealed to me in my sleep, so I must go with the assumption this message is divine. Who am I to argue with the Great One? I am of course assuming this theory is unisex, so ladies, please feel free to indulge the men in your life, or more

Hmmm.....seems as though the AM coffee and Jimi Hendrix are making me a bit itchy so, I need to get up on outta here. I will however leave you with this.

Buckcherry's new single, "Crazy Bitch" from their forthcoming album "Fifteen" will be the Stripper Anthem of 2006. You heard it here first.

Rest in Peace gents...