Wednesday, April 23, 2008

There she goes...again

Sometimes you have good ideas and sometimes your ideas go rogue.

Me, getting my sleep schedule somewhat under my own control...GOOD IDEA. Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper with breakfast...rogue. In my defense, I do have an unhealthy love affair with soda. Beverage choice gone rogue.

I've decided to keep a food journal. Not as a diet tool but more of a way to actually see what I'm eating and how it makes me feel. I'm thinking I can probably eliminate some problems or perhaps even keep some others from springing up by just taking a look at what it is I'm putting in the old gas tank.

In other news...

Can I tell you how sick and tired I am of putting up with people's bullshit? I sat around for months...literally months listening to somuchmorethaneyecandy™'s tales of whoa when she got dicked over by her significant other. I listened intently to what it felt like when someone you care about totally ignores you and leaves you like trash on the side of the road. I listened actively and gave good advice when solicited and sometimes even when it was not wanted. Somuch™ got a new job recently and we've not been in touch for awhile. It's not like I haven't been trying. There have been phone calls and text messages unreturned. Facebook messages unread, and im's that may or may not have been read. I give up trying to be a good person and or friend. Why? Cause when you read an away message something to the affect of, “I'm so happy to have finally found someone who gives me as much as I give them...blah blah blah I love you dickhead!!!” you realize you were never anything more than free coffee, therapy and a mindless distraction to get someone between relationship A and B. Fuck that, go waste someone elses time.

Weather has been much nicer and the sun is making me happy like your first time in the “make out” closet. More work today, but I don't even care since it's so nice. Not only that but the latest oject of my desire comes back from her weekend today. That is always fun.

What else do you want to hear about? What's going on with you?

I hope you all are well.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Decent Monday...

It was only a matter of time before he would ask me about her. I will admit that it was somewhat odd, working with him I mean. He really wasn't that bad, and being civil came pretty easily but at the same time, I really didn't feel like talking about shewhosnameshallnotbespoke™. His tone smacked of disbelief, like it was the oddest thing in the world that could have happened to him. “I mean we were dating for 6 months and then bam! Nothing...”

Sorry dude, but I don't fucking care. You only get one chance to fuck me over and then I'm done. Shewhosnameshallnotbespoken™ did a great job on me, so it's not like I give a shit about anything dealing with her. I'm glad you went above and beyond and tried talking to her, her sister, and her extended family, but to say you were dating her for 6 months is only lying to yourself. She doesn't date anyone. She may have been exclusive with you for two weeks, maybe even a month, but know for certain, she was totally fucking at least one other person besides you. I could be wrong but when you guys used to “make love” she was definitely thinking of someone else and wishing she were anywhere but under your low-rent ass.

You wanna talk current
You wanna talk
You wanna talk red

let's leave women out of the possibilities of conversation.

Weather is getting nicer. Not such a drag to be awake during the daylight hours. Decent weekend even though I spent most of it in a compromised state of consciousness. Hung out with Reef and her friends, at her friends house. Place is gorgeous, very much like what I'm looking for and they've done a great job with it.

Weird but good dreams recently.

Work soon. That is all.

I hope you all are well.


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Good sleep.

Let me start out by saying that I hate hate hate American Idol. I think the show is void of any substance or quality and that like most other things on television these days, it's a giant fucking waste of time. However, when I heard that one of the contestants, David Cook was going to be performing, Innocent, by Our Lady Peace, I had to check out David's performance. Did I tune in? Hell no, I waited two days and watched that shit on youtube.

What can I say? I agree with the critics, bad choice of song. Not that Raine Maida, (lead vocals, OLP) is the greatest vocalist ever, but he is very, very talented. For someone like Cook, talented and trying to prove it, to chose a song like Innocent, just seems foolish. To be fair, Cook did not mangle the song, but it wasn't very pretty. He started off key and with his limited time for performance, showing the crowd and home audience the inspirational message, written on the inside of your hand, that's not going to cut it. It might work for Chris Martin of Coldplay, but who are we kidding here?


So, last night, after work, ended up in dive bar on wrong end of town, with boss and old boss and more beers than anyone wanted to drink. The place was a dump and I'm not a fan of any establishment that tries to pass itself off as an “irish bar” by putting up paper shamrocks and leprechauns all over the fucking place. Something tells me there are supply companies who cater to this type of place and have all sorts of knicknacks that look aged and authentic but, in reality have just rolled off the assembly line in China.


at any rate, beers were drunk and afterward, my boss asked me to ride with him to Wendy's. It was literally 200 yards down the street an on my way home. When I told him I'd rather take my own car, he looked hurt and told me, “but then we won't get to eat our jbc's “bro style.” Bro style? Are you fucking kidding me? If I ever get to the point were I am so pickled with booze on a regular basis that my life is tragically sad and pathetic, to the point where I need to eat fast food, “Bro style”...please kill me. Wow, sometimes I wonder how some people make it through the parts of their lives where there is not someone there to hold their hand.

I was looking over the line up for this summers Warped Tour and I have to admit I was very disappointed not seeing Bad Religion in the line up. I was going to go and catch them last year, but “shewhosnameshallnotbespoken&trade” was giving me a hard time and therefore I missed the show. Going one step further, I was looking on BR's site and there don't seem to be any summer dates, at least in the U.S. Booooooooooooooooooooooooo. However, as an Angels and Airwaves fan, I was happy to see they are playing the whole tour. Maybe I can get out there and see them. Other than that, my only concert plans for the summer are Tom Petty and Dave Matthews, but this can change at any moment.

I think thats all I have for right now.

I hope you all are well.


Thursday, April 03, 2008

I'm in neutral...

So here I am again at 3:43 in the morning, awake, when I should be sleeping. Drinking coffee when I should be sleeping, night dreaming of a different life, when I should be sleeping. Are we seeing a common and consistent theme here? I know I am.

I'm not sure if I went on a date tonight or not. I mean I could have, but at the same time I could have just gone and spent some time with someone I met through one of these damn social networking sites. At any rate, I was able to go and see Blithe Spirit at the TRC. I don't really remember what the last real show I saw was. I mean I saw Rent a few months ago, but if you're in the theater, musicals are generally not regarded as, “real theater” but more fluff or mind candy. Musicals are the Clive Cussler's and Stephen King's of the theatrical world. I will say it was cool to finally talk with TJ in person, versus through various forms of internet communication. I had a good time and oddly enough ran into someone from MN, who went to the same college as me, graduated from the same program I did, and even had some of the same friends as me, yet we never met. Not completely odd at a big school, but SMU was 1,500 undergrad if I was lucky. Sara was so surprised that we were meeting and running into one another. I guess that's how you view things when you live in such a huge state. Me, I can't go to the mall or the grocery store without running into at least three people.

My mind is tired but my body will not let me rest. There is an impending event, one which I will not mention, because I just want it to pass without too much fanfare. Work has been going well but to be honest, things change from one day to the next and often policies and procedures that were the standard the night before, often change before I punch in for my next shift. Being a person who is all about stability, safety and security, all of these fuckin' changes make me grumpy. I just want to go to work, do my job and go home. One could say that is the sentiment of someone who is not willing to go that extra mile. That may be true but if you have ever known me in any capacity, you know the last thing I am is lazy. You know the amount of abuse and nonesense I've put up with working at Bullshit Inc. over the past 4 years and you also know there are no perks to my job, other than the sense of personal satisfaction I have, knowing I make a difference in the lives of kids, who could give two shits about me. To them I am primarily a wallet and / or joykill. I used to get raises and tuition reimbursement at my job, but those have been gone for going on three years. People in my program make the most $$$ out of anyone in our agency. Come to find out, talking to a friend of mine, her brother started off making basically what I make, with no degree. That doesn't bother me too much, however, the fucking idiots I used to work with, the one who came in 3 years after me and was making .50 cents more an hour, and had no administrative responsibilities...that shit burns my ass. I hate my employer and can't wait to finish nursing school so I can get the fuck out of there.

This weekend there's a beer pong tourney at bfd's. Not sure if I want to go but at the same time, I'm not sure what else there will be to do. I mean I would like to hang with my family at some point. Even if that means I have to drive down the coast. I think the drive with some sunglasses, my ipod and hopefully not to much traffic will do me good. I can take some time to walk on the beach and let the brisk sea air wash over me, maybe even take some of the negatives and nasties away with it. Of course all of this will be interrupted by my boss calling me, asking if I want to go and get drunk, just like he does any other day ending in Y.

Saw Doomsday the other night. Total guy flick but I still enjoyed it. I will say this, there seems to be a disturbing trend in deadly plague/virus films and that shit scares me. Just the shots from movies like 28 Days Later, with the streets of London quiet as graveyard, or New York City over grown in vegetation, with wild animals running amok because humans no longer live me a case of the heebie jeebies.

Man, what I'd give for two weeks on a beach in Thailand right now.

I hope you all are well.