This is harder…

than it has to be…and other things no naked woman, within ten feet of me, has ever said. 

back in the clutches of hell

otherwise known as 

nursing school

it used to feel good to be a gansta but lately all it has been doing is causing me grief

like trapped in someplace you know you have to get out of

perhaps a party you went to

with a buddy you didn't know too well

so everyone is all up in yo’ grill

wanting to know who you are

check your credentials

find out the story and the 411

and slowly but surely your 

gut

your spideysense

or 

the good GOD above sends you a sign

something that yells 

Get to steppin’ lickety-split

other wise BOHICA

or for those uninitiated, bend over her it comes again

something also never said when I have been in the presence of a scantily-clad and amorous lady.

i hope you all are well.

Cheers,

jj

Duck…Dodge…Dive

 it was a rough weekend

 

its not often I get all caught up in my feelings but when it happens, its bad. 

like fml bad

but we weathered on 

made it through the wilderness

isolation and self doubt

these are the worst foes i battle

casualties usually being unavoidable 

massive amounts of blood 

too much to clean up 

on my own

which is what i am

fucking hate it

never goes away 

goddamn relentless sometimes

 

the want of something as simple as a hug

can be soul-crushing 

asking for one gets your man card pulled 

no doubt

i can count the times i’ve been touched 

last year and this one 

on 

two hands 

feels bad man

feeds into the self doubt

 

who am i

whats wrong with me

when will it end

rinse n’ repeat

 

nothing but fucking savages in this place

 

i hope you all are well!

 

cheers,

 

jj

 

 

 

Man O’ man…

 am i back in the thick of it now! seems like the last time i did this, either I was a lot older or the 0500 hour was not a real time. new campus, new times, STILL TERRIBLE. The craziest thing i’ve noticed, how much Covid took a toll on the faculty both in number and physically. Then again, my eyes ain’t what they used to be either. Let’s call it a 50/50.

so with the school schedule i’m having to move certain semi-regular appointments around. My counselor, who shall heretofore be referred to as, “the clown” had an interesting take.

 

The clown: Well…so with you starting up with school again, what’s your schedule going to look like?

Me: not final yet but, Fridays i’m in the hospital all day.

Clown: (with no expression) Oh no, what’re we going to do.

Me: Well i have Wednesdays completely open.

Clown: I don’t work on Wednesday.

Me: (in my head) what kind of professional doesn’t work on Wednesday?……. Oh ok. I’ll get something figured out. 

Clown: Yeah. Just get it figured out and then call Irene.

Me: thinking (how about you tell me what you have available, and I can go from there) Not really sure who Irene is.

Clown: She’s the lady who calls you on the phone.

Me: Well that clears it right up.

this is the guy in charge of keeping me from taking a dirt nap…

Nothing but savages in this place, I tell you.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,

jj

Been awhile since...

i've done one of these but here we are.

...so this is the new year 

and im feeling somewhat diferrent. its really starting to bang home how im probably on the back 18. some days feel more like it than others, the good days still come. on the eve of 24, after visiting with family, chatting and watching 45 minutes of the John Hughes masterpiece, "the breakfast club" perspective rings true this is not just another teen movie. but i digress. 

...so this is the new year

and i'm not sure the drugs are still working 

the sadness fucking ebbing and lurking

the sleepless nights and hours of panic 

cant blow mmy cover show them all i'm so mmanic 

cant show them all i'm so mmanic 

can't show them all i'm so mmanic 

...so this is the new year 

 and the continued growth of this writer 

 becoming physically and spiritually lighter 

 supporting neither evil nor the simple fascist fighters 

these tRump-emboldened, low i.q. cousin-fuckin' white knighters

i 

miss the times oh so grand, without lapses 

learning more from drunken foosball, than classes 

sweaty calesthenics, grinding out on the dance floor 

youthful bodies in revolt just like they're made for 

i 

we used to rage and have the run of the whole town 

without the threat of being disappeared or gunned down 

stumbling running jumping laughing no touch downs 

i'm not beaming up or beaming out like all these blue clowns 

not beaming up or beaming out like all these blue clowns

not beaming up or beaming out like all these blue clowns 

...so this is the new year 

...so this is the new year 

...so this is the new year 

 i hope you all are well. 

 jj