Friday, January 26, 2007


I'm not a plumber, nor do I play one on tv. However, I was able to relight the pilot on my stove today. This is a great
and wondrous thing as it's colder than an eskimo's asshole today. I can only imaging it getting colder tonight and by
relighting the stove, at least I know the pipes in the house won't freeze. At any rate...

Winter: 265, 217

JackassJimmy: 2

TGIAF! Here in my world, today is thursday. While the rest of "normal" society celebrates the end of the work week, I
have one more day to go. Do I get mad? Does this aggrevate me? Not normally, because of having to work on Saturday,
I never, ever have a case of, "the mondays." There are more than a few perks to not working in corporate america.

Went out with bscrazy after work today. We grabbed coffee and then went to music magik. I bought her the Clumbsy,
by Our Lady Peace. I think if you are a fan of good, rock music, not the shit on the radio now, Clumbsy is definetly a
disc you need to own. I also picked up TSAR's self titled debut. While it's not as edgy as Band Girls Money, it's catchy
and is helping to fuel this post. I'm thinking about going to target and staples tonight to pick up the rest of the ink I need
to get my fucking printer to work. I also want to buy another floor lamp. In doing so, I will be able to sit in the WARM
basement and read.

Sunday I'm going to ask a coworker out for coffee. This is not someone I work with on a regular basis and it's someone
with whom I will never work again. Her last day is Sunday and it's fourth and 3 and I'm Tom "motherfuckin" Brady. Never
let em' see you sweat. In addition to that conquest, there has been some serious flirting going on at work. I guess it's just
the nature of the beast. I have to admit, sometimes it makes it difficult to keep my head in the game but, if nothing else,
it keeps you on your toes.

I'm torn between cooking and reading tonight. Either way, there is going to be some shopping to be done. If I cook, I want
to wait so that I can subject bscrazy to my culinary prowess, even if she is very, very wary. I hate driving on Friday night
to go shopping. Too many assholes, too much traffic, too much nonsense.

I hope you all are well.


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

How About Them Apples...

Dear Epson and the people who write the software for the Epson brand printers.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have been a loyal customer for some time. I have backed the Epson brand and recommended it to friends and colleagues alike. Recently I have become frustrated with the labeling of your ink cartridges. As I am probably one of the most cynical people I know, I find it some what of a coincidence that the refills for the C68 printer and the C86 printer are placed remarkably close together. What am I getting at? Well after spending close to $70 at Staples on replacement ink, I came home, unwrapped and installed my new cartridges, only to find I was shit out of luck because, I had bought the C68 refills and not the C86.

So what is a guy on a budget to do? Well since the cartridges all fit into place, I was remotely optimistic they might work. What a fool I was! What type of evil corporate and technological sorcery have you people bewitched your products with that if an honest mistake is made, one cannot come back from the void?!?!? Are you so heartless as to give everyone the finger? What about all of the hardworking, blue-collar Americans, who purchase your products because they are both economical and reliable? Are we to assume that once you have our money, we are just dollar signs and decimal points to you? I would hope not but my cynicism leads me to believe otherwise.

So tonight, I ventured back to my local Staples to pick up a single, black ink cartridge. One that would let me print out important documents for: tax purposes, medical records and shopping lists; you know everyday kinds of things. Upon returning home I installed my new Epson brand cartridge and voila, guess what? My printer still will not fucking print! Why is this? Hmmm, let me go to your website and see what the great minds have in store for me. Looking through the FAQ's it seems once again I get to bend over and be railed by corporate cock. My fucking printer will not print, unless I have all cartridges installed, and they all have to have ink. So basically, whenever I need to buy ink for this marvel of technology, it's going to cost me the cost of the printer.

I will admit, I did try to be crafty and save myself some cash, as I am on a budget. I bought one of those generic refills, you know the ones that are almost half the price of your refills. Yeah, seems as though you don't want to let those work either. I have to confess I am somewhat angered by all of the chicanery I have encountered these past few days. While I think you make excellent products, your business practices leave something to be desired and in all honesty, I wish you all would lick me where I shit.

I, like a million other people, as well as yourselves, am busy and don't have time for the nonsense and ballyhoo of running around trying to find the square peg that will fit in the round hole. It would behoove your company to clearly label refills and be a little less tight-assed with all of these "cartridge cannot be recognized" messages. These are the kinds of things that make me want to throw your fucking printer out the fucking window and go and take food out of my children's mouths, so I can buy an HP printer.

I expect to see changes made, effective immediately, otherwise I hope you are all sodomized by a tribe of Alabama Hellbillies. Were it not for the relaxing music I have on now, I might have had the gumption to do the job myself.

Fuck You Very Much,

Monday, January 22, 2007

You know...

It was a good day. A long day, but a good one. Normally I like to sleep a little longer on my day off but, today
there were just things I had to do. Doctor's appointments to keep, phone calls to make and even though I feel
not to bad about it, I blew off the unit meeting at work. Fuck that shit. I'm there five days a week and it's not like
I'm going to get over time for the meeting, so why should I go in on my day off? Exactly...

The doctors was good, scary but good. Now is time to own up for all of the bullshit I have done in the past ten
years. Hey, you don't take care of yourself, the only person you can blame is yourself. Does that make it suck
any less? Of course not, but at least I know who to point the finger at.

Started writing workshop at the LC tonight. I think it went really well. Varying degrees of experience and ego and
overall a good mix. It may be to early to tell but I think I may want to continue on with the teacher. After one class,
she was able to get me to do what no one teacher has been able to make clear to me. Writing honestly, though it is
hard work, gave me a sense of accomplishment greater than the uneasiness I felt baring my secrets to strangers in
a four-walled workshop.

I hope you all are well.


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Check under the bed...

When it rains, it pours and this old man is in need of some snoring...among other things.

Could not fall asleep for the life of me last night. Lots of intrusive thoughts: injury, motor accidents, monsters in the house. What's odd is that it truly is the monsters in the house that gets me all fired up. I mean, you and I know there are no monsters, but trying telling that to my subconscious, who as of late, has been a complete bastard.

Saturday was 60 degrees and I was sweating wearing jeans to work. Today it was cold as fuck and at times, I wish I brought my winter coat. It would be nice if Winter would be consistent but I am not going to complain about the warm, warm temperatures for January.

Went to China Buffet tonight. *bangs head on desk* Why do I do these things to myself? It was not dreadful but it was not good either. Last time I force myself through a meal like this, I was living in London and happened upon a Chinese buffet, Yee Tung. Apparently the buffet was really buckets of curried onions and unless you ordered a liquor drink or a cola, you could not have a glass. To be honest, I was looking around for the community water bucket by the end of the meal. Yes, so dinner was not the best tonight and I have since become a gastronomical disaster since then. I'm going to go and take some emergen-c before bed. It cures hangovers and heart disease and this horrid flu going around, why shouldn't it be able to wash this horrid peanut oil fury out of me?

Tomorrow I'm going to start to carry my digi-camera with me. I'm going to document my life (or at least try to) for a year. I may only last a month or even a day but it's something to do besides obsess about the negative.

Work has been busy and I am up for a promotion. No reason I should not get it, as I am the senior most operative on the unit, save for my supervisor. It's a little more pocket money, very little but at least it's better than nothing. Myspace has again put me in contact with some old friends. I can see how people hate it. I mean there is a very real evil to it but with everything. All in moderation. Time to change the wash over.

I hope you all are well.


A Quick Note...

before bed.

I don't know where "the red" is coming from but it's coming and more importantly, I'm not so sure I know how to stop it.
It may have something to do with the fact I had to go to a meeting, at work, on my day off. There is also the writing class
I signed up for that meets twice, to the tune of $75. I know that's not a lot of money to most people, but when you put your
body on the line, everyday like I do, $75 can seem like a kings ransom. *sigh* Maybe it's time to look for another job. It's
not like I haven't put my time in. Two and a half years in a month or so and gratefully only one major injury and some minor
bumps and bruises. I just wish I could find something where I was remotely happy and didn't have to suck any type of
corporate or soul-sucking cock. Aye...there's the rub now, isn't it?

Hung out with el capitan and bscrazy after work today. Was supposed to go and join Bally's with bscrazy but I don't have
the $$$ and FUCK BALLY'S. They don't want me to be healthy, they want to sell me shit. If nothing else, the treadmill in
the basement is reminder enough I have what I need to work out. I really don't need to work with weights yet. I mean
eventually it would be nice, but I'd like to drop a few more lbs before that happens.

I think I am attracted to that which is not good for me. We know this is the case with food but with women, I am finding it
harder and harder to stay away from people who are either just bad news in general or who in the long run, will absolutely
crush me in some way. bscrazy might just be the later of those two. Smart, funny, independent, attractive, (-)smoker
and a co-worker but yet, possesses something making me want to be less of a loner Dottie, less of a rebel.

Maybe in all actuality, it's more of a rebel. We hang out and I yearn for cool shoes and cool tattoos, however, these could
also be the ramblings of a scene-king, whose reign came to an end about eleventy billion years ago.

And with that, I'm off to bed.

I hope you all are well.


Monday, January 08, 2007

So this is...

the new year.

I used to think I knew what was going on, then I listened to William Shatner's latest recording, "Has Been."
Clearly the world is coming to an end. With such big names as Ben Folds, Brad Paisley, Andrian Belew and
Henry Rollins, you'd think liking this disc would be easy. You'd think...

But its not.

Nope. It has all the herky-jerky vibe of that late 60's spoken word, bongojamzilla that probably made Shatner think
he was something more than James T. Kirk. SURVEY SAYS!!!! XXX

Anywho, work has been busy, busy, busy. If nothing else it helped the holidays pass by. The older I get, the more
I seem to resent things most take joy in. This is probably due to the industries I work in. Come to think of it, retail can
ruin Christmas for anyone. Even though I have been out of that racket for awhile, all the hustle and bustle of the holiday
season usually make me want to take a hostage.

Anyone get anything good for the holiday? I got a case of diet dr. pepper and an erection, so it was a banner year at the
Jackass residence.

My musical recommendations as of late are as follows:

Vince Guaraldi: A Charlie Brown Christmas. Shut up...this one puts even me in a good mood.

Breaking Benjamin: Phobia. Third release. Very, very polished but songs are still good and I just dig these guys.

Thirty Seconds to Mars: A Beautiful Lie. The more I listen to these guys, the less I hope Jared Leto continues acting.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season. I recommend Emergen-c for hangovers and any and all ailments.

I hope you all are well.