Monday, March 25, 2013

I'm a jackass...

but I'm not a jerk.

at least I like to think so
but the more I go looking for inspiration
the more I want to scream into the void
that everything is boring
like a fucking petulant teenager
and I'm a bit too old to be doing that

so my search for stimulus continues
if only I were a married father of two kids
either commuting from the suburbs to the metro area
or a stay-at-home dad
the car pool schedule
art classes
soccer practice
and picking up the dry cleaning
(not that there is anything wrong with any of that. It's just not my ideal.)
whilst wishing I had not sold all my dreams
for what I was force fed to believe is
the american dream

I'm fucking boring myself just writing this
but I don't have the wherewithal
to tell you of the trials of my life
the last 3+ years
the ones which have tested my
physical and mental limits
more than any other in my entire life
eventually those tales will be told
but its not a story I choose to tell at this point

right now all I want to do
is drift off to either a dreamless slumber
or one filled with
dreams of hope and promise
which is more than I have for myself
yeah, someone pissed on my birthday cake today
but it could be worse

Walking Dead was really good tonight
I don't give a rats ass about March Madness
feeling a need to get back in the kitchen
work some knife skills
get nasty on some new and tasty dishes
and feel the summer sun
shine on my face
once again

word to hk

I hope you all are well.