Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hot Coffee...

I”m trying to get in touch with my inner dork this morning.

We've lost contact over the past year or so
it's time to reconnect
there is
a cup of coffee
the clackity-clack of the keyboard
and of course
my first love

without it...well my life would probably seem
less dramatic
but at any rate, I'm rediscovering great bands
long forgotten

as I sit here and pound out this post
“left and leaving” by The Weakerthans
is haunting both iTunes and me
such a great disc from a phenomenal band
no more

Isn't that always the way?

I started tearing my bathroom up this weekend
which is pretty freaking hilarious as
I am totally not the, “This Old House” type
but when you hate where you live
and have some extra time on your hands
maybe experience really is the best teacher
at least
“that's what she said...”

wanted to take “before & after” photos
but of course, my digital camer decides to break
as I am about to go to work
so there is something else I can spend money on
at least I will be getting something with way more megapixels
than the last one I had
just a point and shoot...nothing to fancy

it's officially fall and we all know what that means for this guy
the beginning of seasonal depression
I'm hoping the lack of a real summer will either
help ease the symptoms of my seasonal depression
or maybe PLEASE GOD it will pass over me
if I nail my copies of my cure cds to my front door
perhaps the angel of sadness will not stop at my house

he says as he listens to, “The Weakerthans...”

music that makes me think of specific times, places and people
a long weekend in Duluth
when my body didn't creak and grown like this old house
and her red hair and mischievous smile were a common sight
ah nostalgia!

To be honest I don't even feel very sad
and I won't even attach a yet, yet
maybe it's cause I'm too mired in anger and frustration
maybe my mind and body and soul are too tired
maybe it's another thing I've out grown

like asthma
not sleeping all weekend
and tinker toys

Have a great day. I'm going to try to.

I hope you all are well.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mayday Mayday

Things here in the Ocean State are pretty much S.O.S

Paul E. Parker's post from ProJo.com sheds some light on the seemingly never ending economic decline we're in.

While I don't claim to have the answers to fix this problem or any answers at all for that matter, what I do know is blame storming those out of work, as well as those trying to find work, is pointless.
Speaking as someone with a full time job, trying to pursue an education, kicking those who are down is not going to motivate anyone to try and better their situation. If anything it's going to drive more people to feel even more entitled to, “Suck up more of your free tax dollars.” Let's look at facts. 1. Rhode Island and the Northeast have historically been hardest hit by any type of local/national economic crisis. Moreover, we are also the last nationally to pull out of the aforementioned hardships. 2. The national economy is in disarray, (not that this is a surprise) with no forecast of improvement. 3. The lack of good jobs, not great jobs, jobs that pay a livable wage and offer some reasonable health benefits, make playing the powerball seem like a more worthwhile opportunity.

So, before all of you, “hard workers, self-made men and women and those more fortunate than the rest of us” start bad mouthing those trying to keep off of skid row, why don't you take a minute to be grateful for all you have. Count all of your fucking money, access to good, affordable health care, nutritious food, and a warm, clean, safe place to sleep at night and shut the fuck up!

Monday, September 21, 2009

The early bird...

Don't worry Mom, someday I'll get to bed before 3am. I just don't see that time coming soon.

Last night was sufficiently terrible at work
long...long...long night
the kind where you get out and realize
there was not time
eat..shit...or breathe

not that anyone should do all of those things at the same time
but I do recommend breathing as much as possible
so I got out
went to the 24 drug store
cause I needed a Diet Dr. Pepper like whoa
realized I was starving having not eaten since
like 4 slices of chicken breast, horseradish sauce, american cheese, low carb wrap
so at 11:45
it wasn't delivery, it was DiGiorno

I was amped someone has finally made a pizza you can microwave vs. bake
since I have been hinky about using the oven, almost burning the house down
making nachos 2 summers ago
who knew tortilla chips had such a low flash-point
came home
season premier of Fringe via hulu
Jeebus I love me some hulu
then bed
lulled to sleep by the sweet sounds of Hearing Voices podcast
I also love me some podcasts and NPR

woke up not four hours after laying down
change of clothes
log on
jack in
get the news for the day

I really could give a shit about pop culture
not even anywhere near the music snob / fan
I once was
maybe I am getting old and curmudgeonly
I must be, since I can spell that word

here we are at Monday, actually my Tuesday
and all I can think about is where the hell did my weekend go
and why was there not more fun involved?

but a good amount of good work got done
so I guess there was a bright spot in my universe
hopefully this will be the start of yet another prosperous period in my life
jeebus knows, I could use it.

starting with a new shrink this Thursday
not sure how I feel
I mean, obviously I'm for it
as I am still going
I just hope he's not one of these pill-pushing jackasses
otherwise this is going to be over faster than
Tara Reid's “serious” acting career

I hope you all are well.


Sunday, September 06, 2009

Batten down the...


I cant help but feel an overwhelming sadness
not like, “Oh poor fucking me...” sadness
just a general, “here comes the rain again” sadness
one I've been through before
have weathered
and am sure I will go through in the not so distant future

Could be the time of year
the change of season
lack of sunlight
or just some wackiness
involving the chemicals in my brain
but from now to about mid-January
the emotional roller coaster
is non-stop

I suppose there are drugs
but in all reality
I've taken what I've taken
and I really don't feel like
they make me any better
in fact, if anything else there is an increased inability to be creative
and I sure as hell don't want to be making
anyone rich from making me miserable

3:18 in the am and the valerian root
can't kick in fast enough
I want to sleep
to dream
to forget
not be aware
of this hell my life has become

no more tests
or whatever
just peace
and quiet
and solitude

I hope you all are well.