I don't know where "the red" is coming from but it's coming and more importantly, I'm not so sure I know how to stop it.
It may have something to do with the fact I had to go to a meeting, at work, on my day off. There is also the writing class
I signed up for that meets twice, to the tune of $75. I know that's not a lot of money to most people, but when you put your
body on the line, everyday like I do, $75 can seem like a kings ransom. *sigh* Maybe it's time to look for another job. It's
not like I haven't put my time in. Two and a half years in a month or so and gratefully only one major injury and some minor
bumps and bruises. I just wish I could find something where I was remotely happy and didn't have to suck any type of
corporate or soul-sucking cock. Aye...there's the rub now, isn't it?
Hung out with el capitan and bscrazy after work today. Was supposed to go and join Bally's with bscrazy but I don't have
the $$$ and FUCK BALLY'S. They don't want me to be healthy, they want to sell me shit. If nothing else, the treadmill in
the basement is reminder enough I have what I need to work out. I really don't need to work with weights yet. I mean
eventually it would be nice, but I'd like to drop a few more lbs before that happens.
I think I am attracted to that which is not good for me. We know this is the case with food but with women, I am finding it
harder and harder to stay away from people who are either just bad news in general or who in the long run, will absolutely
crush me in some way. bscrazy might just be the later of those two. Smart, funny, independent, attractive, (-)smoker
and a co-worker but yet, possesses something making me want to be less of a loner Dottie, less of a rebel.
Maybe in all actuality, it's more of a rebel. We hang out and I yearn for cool shoes and cool tattoos, however, these could
also be the ramblings of a scene-king, whose reign came to an end about eleventy billion years ago.
And with that, I'm off to bed.
I hope you all are well.