GROW GODDAMN YOU...

I'm sitting here in a space that smells like burnt microwave popcorn.

*sigh*

that fucking smell takes forever to leave
to be honest, I don't even remember when I last burn microcorn
but I do watch a great deal of movies
so it might actually not be that long ago

I'm sitting here clackity-clacking
waiting for my virtual grapes
to be ready to harvest
I know...I know...
it doesn't get much more exciting than this
and why am I still single again?

whatever

decent weather is almost consistent here
so thats one in the plus column
been working out regularly
feel good
look better
need to keep going

car is fucked
like Im done with it
soon as I have some money
going to see if I can get
a toyota yaris hbx
if for nothing else just to have reliable transport
to school
fuck work...I can walk to that nonsense

latest audio addiction is fightstar
english post hard core...whateverthefuck
that means
hum was posthardcore/math rock
these guys sound completely different
but I like them

thank you emusic.com

drinking crystal light
pomegranate lemonade
its got shit in it
to help your skin
we all know how much I need that
bf of a friend codenamed this libation
codename delicious
funny and true

brother gets married in less
than
a
month

*bangs head on desk*

color me frustrated
if I were a crayon
Id be failure
not really
but its starting to feel
like that more and more
damn you depression
need to hit the eliptical
hard later on in the am
therefore
I need to go to bed

I hope you all are well

Cheers,
JJ

Yes...

I'm even hungry enough that I would eat a gas station sandwich. However I think a trip to the local market is in order.

I hope you all are well,

JJ

By the power of Greyskull...

I managed to make it to another weekend

I'm also grateful the weather decided to hold out for me, even if it is only for today.

I'll be heading to the gym shortly to get my sweat n' grunt on
gotta try and make it through one more day
another day of self improvement
get myself out of this funk
success starts with day one
and it seems to always be day one

still haven't finished that book I've been telling you about
maybe today
depends on if I have time to get out in the yard and sit
maybe after the grass is cut
sounds like a whole lot of maybe going on
story of my life

I'm loving anything by Imogen Heap right now
she's a singer/songwriter
in case you were wondering why
you weren't finding her on the shelves
at your local booketeria

light breeze just blew in the window
kind of nudging me
“hey...fat kid...let's go”
time to finish my coffee
head to the gym
get ugly
and live my life

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Over & Over...

I'm getting headaches
tension...anxiety...maybe anxsion
either way they can go fuck themselves
cause I know they are work related, driven by work, caused by having to
show at a place that makes me crazy
but I know I have to endure cause I need
health insurance and otherwise I will
shrivel up and die

or

at
least that is what
I
have been made to believe


so...yeah, newsflash: the economy is in the shitter
everyone and their brother is out of work
and if you are lucky enough to still have job
your employer holds it to your head, asking
“do you feel lucky punk?”

I like what I do
I'm very good at what I do
but there is only so much weight you can pile on the camel
before the camel tells you, “go fuck yourself...”

right now I'm trying to clear the dust out of my mouth
forcing facial muscles to form words
trying to catch enough breath
to push them out of my lungs

In other news...

writing class starts this week
not sure why I'm doing this
the only person I write for is me
in notebooks
journals
sometimes here on this blog

my fucking head is killing me
time to crunch down some:
melatonin, DDP & call it a day

I hope you all are well.


Cheers,
JJ

Bullshit Weather Report...

It's 7:23 in the morning
I've been up almost an hour
went to sleep way to late last night
at least my brain & body feel that way

started the day off with an,”Oh shit...” moment
1 and ½ to 2 tablespoons of coffee per 8 ounces of water
for a cup
not 8 tablespoons and 16 ounces of water

never have been able to get the whole, “math thing”

I dwnldd, “A Positive Rage” by The Hold Steady the other day
really want to listen to it but I know I'm not in the right frame of mind
at least not yet
no coffee, no breakfast, no gym, no Hold Steady...at least not yet

So I substitute
Husker Du's, “Candy Apple Grey”
which seems appropriate
as I look out the window to see the weather not cooperating again

c'est la vie

what else is new right?

first couple of sips of coffee down, things will be alright
I concede...I give...I'm old
at least I feel it
I long for the days of 19 when 4 hrs of sleep was as good as
8 or ten
but not quite as good as the debut album by pearl jam
though some would argue with me
thats fine
many pj songs stand the test of time

I'm fighting the urge to go back to bed/take a nap/get unconcscious in my recliner
spell check just told me I spelled unconscious wrong and I can't figure it out
better luck next time I guess
need to go to the gym and get ugly
I mean like disgustingly sweaty
gross
to the point where I wonder if it's my own ass I'm smelling
burn some fat
burn the candle at both ends

I'm in the middle of a good book
a memoir
seem to be on a non fiction kick
tell you about it when I'm done

probably have more to say
but can't untangle it all
not right now
so I leave it to you

I hope you all are well...

Cheers,
JJ