I know, I know...it's been like a week since I have posted anything. When I started blogging, I told myself I would never apologize for not writing...cause that's just lame. I don't really feel the need to explain my postage or lack thereof to the two maybe three of you (THANK YOU) who read this rag. When you really think about it, bloggin really is like having a conversation who does nothing but talk about themselves. It's the kind of conversation where you know when you are speaking, the other person is only waiting for you to finish, not even listening to anything you're saying. When I know this is going on in reality-reality versus virtual reality, I usually start talking about that one time in college when I was so drunk I blew a horse or the field trip I took to JFK's balloon farm on Mars.
I LOVE WHEN NO ONE NOTICES...that's the cue to get more coffee or just get up and walk away mid-sentence. Yes, I know this is rude, but I am a jackass and my time on this planet is short.
At any rate, I wrote a really kickass post on Saturday, complete with pics from my day and everything. I wrote and wrote and wrote and edited and spellchecked, everything your 10th grade creative writing teacher would ask of you. When it was all said and done, I was so pleased with it I couldn't wait to hit publish. Yep, I just had to get it out there on the web...(I know you see where this is going and if not, well, just look into the sunset) So, I hit publish post and the typical publishing stuff came up. I'm not really sure what it was that told me something was very wrong but I just had a gut feeling. I winced and cringed and hoped. Blogger told me everything was ok, stroked my back and patted me on the head. Blogger told me my post was safe as a kitten in the arms of a gorilla. Blogger told me everything was cool and just to come back in ten minutes and republish my blog.
I really didn't know wtf they were talking about, but there were pictures to guide me through the process, so I was somewhat comfortable with everything. So I went and checked gmail...checked some of my favorite blogs/sites....went to the bathroom...got a snack and something to drink...and then went back to "republish my blog."
I got the same bullshit "situation normal" message for the better part of 2 hours. I know, I know, "dude, it's gone just let it go." It was true and deep down I knew it was gone. "Gone" like one of my favorite songs by the Bouncing Souls. Gone like all of the kickass poetry I used to woo women in college. Gone like the integrity of the United States. I'm nowhere near as cool as Han Solo, but sure did wince and want to fire on my computer when blogger donkey punched me with an abscence of love.
I was just flat out pissed and not in the mood to redo everything. That my dear friends is why you are reading this. This drivel, this blogsturbation™, if that's not a word...I'm trademarking it as of right now. I give anyone permission to use it, just give me credit or the digital ninja is coming for your ass!
Thats about all I have for right now. I just read a story about the deal Oprah Winfrey inked with XM Radio. It works out that she will be making almost a million dollars a show. Does she really need it? Come on, if she is not the richest woman in the world, she has to be so close to #1 that she can hear her cunt sweating. I would hope she would take some of that money and just donate it to people who need it. I did volunteer work in inner-city Chicago while I was in college. You think the footage from Iraq is bad? People need to step outside their comfort zones once in a while. There are things here that rival, if not surpass the poverty & desperation of the Middle East.
ok...I won't beat y'all anymore.
I hope you all are well.