Friday, August 05, 2005

I Will Not Work On MY DAY OFF!!!

No fronts, no tricks

No soap box politics

No guns, just blunts, we kick this just for fun

Ok peeps whatcha’ want you get, J.J. Blog-ass-blog represent

I write with skills so act like you know

Listen to the way this ill shit flow

It’s not gonna be pretty, no pictures or nothing but there is at least somewhat of a tale to tell. Here goes nothing.

On what was my day off, I went into work for some agency-mandated training and other administrative sheeyat. For whatever reason, my co-workers on my unit and otherwise, were all about practicing the hand to hand shit and rolling around on the floor with each other. Not for nothing, but this is my day off, I’m not getting paid for being here, you can bet you sweet ass I’m not going to do anything that simulates work. So while the robot from training was spouting her nonsense, I did my best to work my Jedi magic to get people to actually talk, so we would not have to be dancin’ real close or real slow.

It took them all awhile but they finally picked up on what I was doing and in the long run, they were all on board, well all but one but fuck that guy. He hasn’t opened his mouth in 9 months. I bolted out of there screaming, like a gerbil from Mr. Gere’s asshole, the whole time trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my day. I got home and oddly enough, it was not hot enough to melt flesh. It was warm, don’t get me wrong but I was able to sit on the porch and continue reading This Boy’s Life, while getting some fresh air and sun.

I read for a while and then put my book down and thought some thoughts for what seemed like the better part of an hour. When I came to the natural wisdom I had been using for the past sixty minutes, dissipated like that $40 Ben & Jerry’s ice cream cone in August heat. I strolled back into the relative coolness of the one air conditioned room I have and took another government-mandated, climate controlled nap. There were dreams. Some were good, others not so much. I remember a whole bunch of lack-luster women laughing at me and belittling me because I didn’t want to have sex with them. What I would later find out was, this was going to be a precursor to somewhat of a skirmish later on in the evening.

When I awoke from nap, I sent a few gmails, made a few phone calls and downloaded some tunes I needed to hear. After awhile, the phone was blowing up with demons (people) trying to sink their claws into me. Trying to get me to the bar on a Thursday night. Yeah, right! I’m not saying I’m not social but when you have to save energy so you can work, one can’t be out till all hours of the night, drinking and doing God knows what. I went into deep cover mode. No phone, no email, no instant messenger. My away message was something to the effect of, “not right now, I’m thinking.”

Again there was another govt-mandated nap. I awoke about midnight and had some ambition to write. I perused all my normal blog stops and realized it was somewhat of a lazy day for everyone. I figured some coffee and food would help so, into the F1 I jumped. I went down swinging as the coffee-teria was closed, some 45 year old balding female ape tried to instigate me into a fist-fight at the Yuck Truck and of course just to cap off a good night time ride, I got pulled over, a little over a mile from headquarters. No justice in this world I tell you.

Today’s Goals: Mail some bills

Clean the house

Clean the fridge

Find out what it’s going to cost to get bicycle back on road

Plenty of climate-controlled, govt-mandated naps

I hope you all are well.


1 comment:

Ktech said...

I am still laughing at the picture of the iron sheik...where is Nickolai? Govt mandated naps are the best esp when in A/C'd rooms. I almost got pulled over yesterday too....statie was hidden in the tunnel by a curve...I managed to be shielded by an SUV but i was going 65 in a 45....then again so was everyone else.