Peace Beast

I'm sure I've mentioned how much I hate the pursuit of the fairer sex before. I'm sure I have spoken about it quite often actually.

After this weekend's fiasco of hooking up with a chick and her telling me, "she was totally into me" and then two days later dumbski-ing me and telling me she was drunk and that, "we could hang out, but nothing else was going to happen..."

"How you gonna act like my shit don't BLING?!?!"

1. FUCK YOU FOR WASTING MY TIME!!!
Life is short enough to have to put up with your relentless, inane bullshit. Just say what you mean and be a fucking adult. This is not highschool, we're not going to be BFF, at least not now.

2. DRUNK?!?!?...BITCH, PLEASE!
Telling me you don't drink all that much when you know full well, the only reason you didn't fuck me 2 years ago was, you were so drunk, they put your ass outside in a kiddie pool until, you were done vomitting whatever kool-ade and bullshit, girl drink conconcotion you were draining the fridge dry of. Happy Birthday.

3. BUD LIGHT
Anyone over the age of 14, who has smelled alcohol before, can drink this marvelous libation all night long, still possess all of their mental accuity and faculties and still be aware that they are throwing themselves at someone. There is no empirical nor scientific evidence that someone has gotten "blackout drunk" on BL. EAT A DICK!!!

4. SHAME
It's a normal human emotion. Some of us deal better with it than others. Apparently I don't meet the standards for your Flintstone-esque, Rockstar lifestyle. Cool, I've been dumped, fucked over, spat on by the best. This lame attempt at making me feel like a fucking jerk is nothing more than a mild annoyance. Am I bitter? Only a tad and only cause my time is precious. Just a reminder, they are taking applications for the next round of, "The Biggest Loser, " which you should be a shoe in for. Oral Hygiene is good, you should try it. Sperm although high in protein & low in calories, does not contribute to "minty-fresh-come-here-&-make-out-with-me" breath. Maybe this won't work cause I've never known anyone to successfully brush their teeth with a cock in their mouth. However, there is a first time for everything.

5. ATTIRE
You work at a retail establishment that sells clothes that will not only fit, but make you more attractive and maybe, just maybe lift that struggling self esteem. Just cause your friends dress like, "whores gone wild" doesn't mean you have to. Word to the wise, GUNTS are not cool.

SMELL YA LATER!