The Wayback Machine...

when I was a young boy, young like
four years-old, not like my mid twenties
my parents, grandparents and various other family
would give me books that came with a play along cassette tape
yeah, I said cassette tape
I'm that old

anyway...

these books on tape, I think put out by Superscope
not only fostered and helped grow my love of reading
but also helped me to not hear the voices in my head
even at such a young age

in my teen years
I fell asleep to the white noise of am/fm radio
or whatever music I was listening to at the time
or quite possibly...I could have passed out
from the sheer exhaustion of high school
and later on, working 90+hours a week

when I eventually got to college
I was fortunate enough to have a roommate
who could not fall asleep unless
“Dark Side of the Moon” was on repeat
I swear I learned the lyrics to that disc by osmosis

when I had my own room
it was other stuff
jazz
instrumental
gregorian chant
whatever I could find to
expand my mind and be enough of a distraction
to get to sleep

and here I am
at thirty-something
still in need of silence
be it mental or otherwise
so I go to bed
with headphones on

and I'm drawn back to my childhood
'cause I'm still listening
stories
books via mp3
podcasts
still needing that voice
reassuring me things will be ok
that I can go to bed
get rest

that I've done a good job
and deserve to rest for the day
be it for an hour or four
or on the odd night twelve

I've tried going to sleep sans headphones
failed attempts on more nights than not
make me wonder how I'm
ever going to
fall asleep in
the big boy bed
should I ever be tall enough
to climb up...in...and under the covers

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ