Friday, July 06, 2012

emotive...

Even with the help of a holiday, this week was a freaking drag.

by the middle of class tonight, I was ready to tap out...of everything

but I had a nice drive home
cool
good music
not too much
traffic

I think I may have even smiled a few times

something about that sea air and the scent of sea grass
that
just relaxes the hell out of me
reminds me
there are other speeds besides
run for your lives

we all move to fast
not noticing the small things
appreciating barely anything
until it's gone
or too late
or both

I miss all of you
I wish the best for most of you
I love several of you
if you happen to not fall into one of those categories
do not fret
there is still time
there is always time
never...never...never
give
up

****

sometimes I feel like one of those scientists
sending signals
out into our galaxy
or
to infinity and beyond
or
at least that's what it feels like
waiting patiently
for the reply
which more than likely
will never come

taking refuge in ambient music
mediation
yoga
and other modalities
to quiet
the onslaught of aural terror
inside my brain
tranceporting myself
to another time
place
reality
where there is time to
breathe
listen to the wind
hold your hand
and remember

remember and appreciate
the gifts shared
gifts placed in front of me
unwrap when ready
if I was ready
reminders of the beauty of it all
still reminiscent in this disconnected
life
content yet yearning
smiling without the drugs
grateful to shed tears
righteous with anger
free to be myself
still afraid to
open up
let down the armor
love

but this light shines
and little by little
the summer breeze
off the ocean
fuel the fire
creating more light
more heat
more passion
eventually transforming
wood to ash
to fly
to be free
in the air
to dance and play
and rejoice






I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

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