Sometimes...

you get presented with gifts
that
for whatever reason
you swear can't be real

things beyond your wildest
dreams
prayers
imaginations

things you're sure
belong to someone else
so you try to give them back
to
put them back
where ever you think they
belong

and yet
they come back to you
even though you don't believe
and you have to think
the devil or whomever
is fucking with you

because you want to
feel
touch
taste
smell
hear
revel
in the victory, so bad it's killing you

something so uncommon
you don't know what to do with it
so you panic
and hold on tighter than ever before
trying not to choke the life
out of your gift

and finally just when
you are in the throes of despair
and have lost all hope
she says, "I'm not going anywhere"

gasping that first breath above
the surface you realize
it's going to be ok
and to just breathe
and live one day at a time



I hope you all are well.


Cheers,
JJ