With the exception...

of family extended and otherwise,

I've lost pretty much everyone I care about
in the course of the past three years
I guess I'm not the swell guy I thought I was
or maybe my perception of myself
was
flawed
or skewed
or just plain
incorrect
whatever the reason
it forces a guy to make adjustments
some of which fall in the
uncomfortable

be that as it may
we adjust
and change
and grow
even when the past
several years
you have been
living under the auspices
of unemployment with no check
no health care
mental health at times questionable
at best
and last but not least
crushing self doubt

Oh I, I'm still alive
do I deserve to be?
Is that the question
and if so, if so
who answers, who answers?


I hope you all are well,

word to hk,
jj