Life is...

I have things in my head, not that I necessarily need to get out...
but they are in my head none the less.

This post feels forced to me and that's the worst. Writing to write, when you have nothing to say. I find it to be even more idiotic and inane than conversations about the weather, because in reality, I am conversing with myself here. Let's be honest.

I went out for a beer after work last night. Something I don't usually do, but that has become more frequent with recent staffing changes. I had one beer. One beer. I guess you could say I was not in the mood to drink, or maybe it was the company, either way, all I could think of was that, in a bar, at midnight on a Wednesday, was one of the last places I wished I was.

Work really drains me and when I'm done, all I want to do is go home and decompress. I want to throw on a hoodie and some fleecy pants and call it a day. I was at work for like 14 hours yesterday, which probably greatly contributed to my postal feelings when I left. I have another long day today, not 14 hours long, but long enough. At least I am on the brink of my weekend.

Lately, people have been telling me I need to make changes in my life. That I should not be so eager to settle and be done with life. Whatever, walk a mile in a man's shoes, yadda...yadda...yadda.

A couple of days ago, I walked across the street to the convenience store. I was after a cherry soda and some cheese balls. As I took the same path to the cooler I always do, I realized I never pay attention to anything any more. When I actually stopped and looked around, the store that provided me with late night munchies and the latest issues of whatever video game magazine was popular at the time, had transformed and is now a place where people can buy used VHS tapes, fake name brand merchandise, bongs and other grass tacticals and jack-it mags. After that, I couldn't stomach the cheese balls and the cherry soda was, shall we say a little bit bitter. Hooray for progress, right?

At least I'm starting to see more sunshine everyday. Even if not, I still have Less Than Jake right?



I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Come On Heat Mizer!!!

Let it be said right here and right now, I am all FUCKING DONE with Winter!

Winter can go and fuck itself in its filthy, rotten, snow-congested asshole for all I care. NO MORE SNOW THIS WINTER!!!

I'm so tired of shoveling and uncovering my car that I don't care if the planet shrivels up into a fucking dust bowl, as long as there is no more snow. I mean I know it's still winter but we're almost into March and it's still colder than a polar bears asshole, with wind and frigid temperatures and shit. GAHH!!

In other news, work has been fucking crazy as of late, with riots on H Block almost every night. I have been training new people, which basically means I have been working by myself for the last week. Yeah, that's awesome.

It's Sunday here in little Rhody and we all know what that means, there is no rock anywhere on the radio. With the exception of WHJY, which doesn't acknowledge that time has not stopped at 1987, there is no reasonably new rock on the radio, on Sunday. Thank God for my ipod.

After spending what seemed like 45 minutes cleaning the crispity crunchity crust of snow off of my car, I was able to drive to T-Ho's to get a PHENOMENAL cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich with sausage. I don't normally indulge in the fast food breakfast, but my recent regimen of oatmeal with raisins, has left me desiring something bad. This morning, I had it. G-licious!

I knew I was in for some sideways glances this morning as I pulled around the drive through. I had nail polish on my nails, (easiest way to describe why, is I lost a bet) and had not been able to take it off yet. So, of course I knew everyone who works the morning drive thru at T-Ho's was going to find a reason to come to the window and ask me a question. I was right, about 37 people asked me if I wanted to make my order a combo, or some variation there of. I get it. It's not every AM you get to see some big burly motherfucker wearing nail polish and blaring Lamb of God, in the drive thru. To be honest, I'm sure there are many more strange things than that, but I digress.

Time to get ready for my new and hopefully, improved week of work. I bought some new sunglasses this weekend on the internet. I'm hoping this might motivate summer to get here a little faster.

Any thoughts? Or have I spent my hard earned dollars to look like a douchebag?


I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Fuck lazy assess...

in the goat ass!

Got some stuff I want to say but, I just worked 16 hours straight and I need to finish hammering down this oatmeal and go to bed.

oh and I have to be back to work for 3pm...

AWESOME

I know there was no sentence structure, grammar or syntax going on up above.

Cut me some slack!

Hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

So much to...

read and write down and so little time. Goddamn, I need a sugar-mama to hook me up with some cha-ching. Having to go to work everyday is really putting a cramp in my investigative and creative endeavours.

How did you like my Canadian flavour?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Just a little...

something to break the monotony.

Yep, it's still really fucking cold.

While I've always been able to wait out Spring without too much anxiety, this year has been a bit tougher. We've been lucky here and haven't been inundated with snow unlike other places in the country, but the cold stretches of weather have been a bit much. I mean here we are mid way through February and it's still very, very chilly.

Not much going on other than work and well..work. I have a new boss and for the most part he seems like a pretty cool guy. He comes in with a background in the type of work that I do, so it's somewhat comforting that I don't have to break in a “newbie” so to speak. Since I've been back with, “the Agency” things have been up and down. Right now things are really fucking stressful and honestly it takes all of my energy to get through a shift, let alone getting frozen in for two in a row.

In other news...

I'm looking for a new doctor. Not that my old doctor was bad, but in the coming months, I'm going to have neither the time, nor desire to drive down the coast probably twice a month. Plus if I were to have to do that, well then, I guess there would be more visits with my parents.

Don't get me wrong, love them to death and wish I could see them more, but sometimes I just really, really need solid blocks of alone time. I don't call my place, “the fortress of solitude” for nothing.

Today is Saturday, February 16th and most of the day will be spent cleaning said, “fos” as it will heretofore be referred to. I'm not the dirtiest guy on the planet, but not the cleanest either. Sometime when you let life get ahead of you, you come home and realize your place is starting to look like one of the residences on COPS. That's probably a good time to start cleaning.

However, I'm not the only person who has let life run away with them, or forgotten what's it's like to be young and have fun. Check this “Dude” out.




While I am in full agreement that Baltimore is a dangerous city, and probably a very tough city to be a police officer in, this “officer of the law” who is sworn to, “protect and serve” did nothing but bully and intimidate. You have to give respect to get it and while the teen in question uttered no profanity or vulgar language, he was probably to frightened to conform to the orders and insults being barked at him. And police officers all over wonder why they get a bad rap. Maybe if dough nut donkeys like Officer Rivieri could spend a little more time in sensitivity training or working with abused kids, he might learn how to speak to people the way he wants to be spoken to.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Sick and Tired...but mostly sick

Hi, you might not know me but my name is Buckley. JJ calls me Buck for short. Jackass Jimmy has come down with a hell of a cold. I gave him some of my awful-tasting cough mixture and he seems to be sleeping, fitfully, in the recliner, right next to this computer. It seems as though JJ has been somewhat lazy in posting, so while he's sleeping let's chat awhile shall we?

So, I guess you check in here from time to time and see if he's written anything. I bet that's disappointing for you most times. It is for me too. The funny thing is, even though JJ(as I like to call him)sees things from the darker side of life, he really has a way of expressing himself that's just hilarious sometimes. Other times well, no one bats 1000%.

Good ol' JJ has been working like a son of a gun! There was lots of overtime last week and not much sleep. I remember him coming home one night a little later than usual, he was acting weird, almost as if he had too much to drink. Then he started calling a text messaging almost everyone he knew. Ha! That boy was on a roll! Lately, JJ has been talking about the new Angels and Airwaves disc. That thing has been on repeat for like weeks. Hopefully, he'll get tired of it soon. It's not that I'm not a fan but in case you didn't know, I'm from Canada and would much rather hear some Our Lady Peace or Tea Party.

I have been telling JJ to get as much rest as he can but, “there are video games to be played and books to be read...” is all he ever says. Poor guy. He works hard all week and when his weekend rolls around, he has to spend the whole thing sleeping, cause he's sick.

Well the constant coughing that was keeping ol' JJ up all night seems to have gone the way of the buffalo. Just shows you that your cough medicine doesn't have to be all filled with sugar or alcohol to work. Granted, I might not taste like a fruit basket, but wouldn't you rather take something that works right away, versus something that tastes good? Me too. I'm going to stop typing for awhile, that big bastard over there is snoring like a drunken hobo and I'd feel bad waking him.

You all have a good night and we'll meet again soon.

As ol' JJ says, “I hope you all are well.”

Cheers,
Buck

Yadda...Yadda...Yadda

So this is the new year...

I finished 2007 strong, working and receiving an A in my nursing class.

2008 has started off somewhat differently.

I'm back to work at: The Agency, different unit, same bullshit. I'm now working the 3-11 shift, which in someways is better for me. I'm often early for my shift, rather than 10-15 minutes late. This does a great deal for my accumulation of vacation and earned time, which is always good. However, even with Fridays & Saturdays off, I still find having a tough time having any sort of a life.

So...

there has been some reading getting done. But, there has also been a ton of sleeping and video game playing. For those of you ensconced in the real of dorkdom like myself, God of War 2, for the Playstation 2, is one bad mama-jama, and better than the first if you can believe that.

My brother recommended Kung Fu High School to me. He's a bright guy with diverse interests, but sometimes I honestly don't know where he finds some of the books he reads. Not your typical novel, KFHS deals with several cliques in a high school who spend their time building body armor, weapons of ass destruction and battling one another. Maybe not to much of stretch of the truth from todays public school systems, but I'm glad I'm light years removed from all of that bullshit.

I should be in school this semester. I'm a procrastinating dumbass and waited and waited and waited to take a test I need to take before I'm able to register for more classes. This is ultimately putting me further behind the eight ball (a place I don't want to be) and will probably force me to spend an additional winter in the beast.

Have I learned? Yes, there will be no more procrastinating as I have crafted daily to do lists. Now if I can only remember where I put it.

Only one day off this week as I have to cover for my 30 year old boss, who is attending a professional wrestling event. What have I done to deserve this?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

I'm not going to lie, I've been away for sometime. However, what better and more lame of a return to the blog than a MEME? Also, I totally poached this from www.beantowngeek.com Just trying to give credit, where credit is due.

Year in Review meme
1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Earned a 4.0 GPA WOOHOO!!!

2.Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I generally don't make them as I have so much going on, I can never remember what they were. However there are some standing orders I have for myself, which I suppose could be considered resolutions. In no certain order:
* Try and make less of me
*Try to cook more and healthier
*More positive self talk
*Be happier
*breathe

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Kate and Smitty had a beautiful baby boy

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

- More Joy.
- Less debt.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

12.31.07 20 years in the making and well worth it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

4.0 I was a basket of nerves the whole time but it was for the greater good.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not taking tests I need to take to make more academic progress and underestimating a Sicilian when death was on the line.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Psoriasis...grrr...Diabetes...double grrr!!! Other than those two, maybe a cold here and there. It was a pretty good year illness wise.

11. What was the best thing someone bought you?

A case of Florida Citrus

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

W's (not the asshat in office) and the Citrus Queen

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Moon Man and SP's

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, rent, women who have no intention of being anywhere near as good to me as I am to them.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Fat kid Pilgrimage '07 and 12.31.07

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Here in your Arms - Hellogoodbye

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Overall happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Wee bit thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Traveled, specifically, CA,MN and IL

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worried.

20. How do you plan to spend Christmas?

Same as always friends and family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

You know, being the sap I am, that's a loaded question, but no.

22. How many one night stands?

None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Top Chef

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Yes.

25. What was the best book you read?

Women by Charles Bukowski.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Jack's Mannequin

27. What did you want and get?

One of the 12000 drink combinations from Sonic

28. What did you want and not get?

A forever friend...

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

I Am Legend.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

34 and maybe dinner but, my brother took me, JC and W to Fenway Park to see the Sox vs. Yanks and the 4 consecutive home runs!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being betrayed by someone I bent over backwards for.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Have you seen the way I dress? One part tornado, one part college student

33. What kept you sane?

My friends both real and virtual, music and my ipod, my family, and as always...diet soda

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Keith Olbermann.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The non-stop lying and warmongering as well as the democratic infighting.

36. Who do you miss?

Erick, Citrus Queen and pretty much anyone I went to college with, though there are some exceptions

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Hutch, John Stone and Mikey Lo

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007?

It's not going to stop.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Don't let the bastards grind you down...

Dashboard Reflectional...

The worst is when you can't tell if you are angry at someone or not. If you want to punch them in the face or make sweet, sweet love to them. It's not often I'm in this state of flux and ergo, why I am having such a tough time dealing. Truth be told, I'm not sure weather this is anger or gasp, dare I say, ”jealousy”... Hey, Jealousy. But I do know it was tough to find a sympathetic ear when I was in tough shape for driving.

Whatever...

Just cause I listen to the same listen music as 17 year old boys, doesn't mean I'm not in touch with or completely lack feelings. I guess as a person who lacks feeling, that's tough to comprehend. My wish for you would be to find some someday. Whether you want to believe me or not, they're not all that bad.

I hope you all are well.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SURLY PUMP MONKEY!!!

Cheers,
JJ

What the fuck...

Is there no intelligent life on this rock?

I've searched maybe not long, maybe not hard, but I've at least searched for good blogs from RI. I don't even include my own blog in the “good blog” category as I update about as much as Courtney Love washes her box, but still...

Are we that devoid of thought and contribution to force me to pay for a subscription to deadjournal, so I can link to teens from RI, who write consistently at least, albeit over who sucks less cock, My Chemical Romance or The Used...

Most of the blog directories I have found have offered carbon copy links. I've even gone through some of my tried and true “go to” links and have come back with nothing.

I suppose I could be like every other person who just wants hits and link to Dooce, but I have a bit more pride than to link to someone I don't know and more importantly, someone I don't read on a consistent basis.

Then there is the, “link to Rhode Islander's on myspace.” Yeah, file that under fuck that. Real bloggers don't blog on myspace. Though I suppose Mystery Cookie and other might argue. Really, how can one argue with someone with the moniker, Mystery Cookie?

Once I have some technical issues taken care of, I'm not promising anything but I am going to make a concerted effort to make my blog, one of the better ones in RI.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
jG

Now that things...

Are back to normal and the Boston Red Sox are World Champions again, things such as sleep can again have a place in my life. There are few things harder than getting to work for seven-am, when your favorite baseball team kept you up until two-three (sober or not so much) in the morning. However, since I am pretty sure I will be layed off within two weeks, 10-15 minutes late is not going to keep me up at night.

Anyway...

While at work this weekend, I overheard part of a funny phone conversation. Someone who recently came to work on my unit, has turned out not only to be funny, but generous and a good person to boot, was having a conversation about music with someone on the phone. While I can usually do a great job of tuning anything out, what I am about to write here made me laugh out loud.

Co-worker: Yeah I think so, no I'm going to buy the Something Corporate.

Friend on Phone: .....

Co-worker: I don't know, I've never really heard them before.

Friend on Phone: .....

Co-Worker: No, they aren't.

Friend on Phone: !!!!!

Co-Worker: No, They Aren't! Dashboard Confessional are not just for fat, white girls from Wisconsin!!!


At this point, the coffee I was drinking almost shot out of my nose at the speed of light. I apologized as soon as she hung up. I then explained going to college in SE, Minnesota, I knew many white girls, fat or not from Wisconsin. I continued to explain that while her friend's observation was astute, it was somewhat off the mark. White girls from Wisconsin are more of the Dave Matthews, Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson ilk.

Then we both had learned something and also had a good laugh.

Today W returns from his trip to the dirrrty south, which is good cause shits were getting boring around here. I also have to write a paper on growing trends in health care and how they will affect my job and society as a whole.

Anyone want to make some quick $$$?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

GO SOX!!!

So last night I took a mid-term. I studied probably enough but not as much as I would have liked. either did really well or really bad on my exam.

As she was handing our exams out, my prof reassured everyone by telling us, "Not to worry because, if we didn't perform as well as we should, we could work something out.

Now don't get me wrong, I like a do over as much as the next guy, but when my class consists of sitting in a hot room, for two and a half hours on a Tuesday night, reading through copies of a power point presentation, verbatim...I wonder what it is I paid for at the beginning of the semester?

Having already attained a degree, I am familiar with the entry level courses having a much higher percentage of "hoop-jumping" but this just seems a bit ridiculous to me.

You know what else grinds my gears? Perfectly healthy young men, who carry their books and materials in those fucking backpacks with wheels. Are you going to class or on vacation?

-END RANT-

If you are looking to listen & discover new music, check this out! It's totally Jackass approved!

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Slamazon...

I know I always bitch and complain about the battles I have with amazon but, I just found an out-of-print cd, that I have been searching for, for sometime, for $6.

Used, yes, used. I love buying used cause fuck the RIAA! I'm not stealing it, I'm paying for it and you can bet your ass it's going right on my ipod.

So now that my retail therapy has been completed, its off to study.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Hi there...

I have to tell you, one of the skills I've learned as an adult is patience. Not the Gun's N' Roses type but the kind that only makes me think about stabbing stupid people in the morning coffee line.

However, there are still somethings that make me cringe like a 5 year old, anxiously awaiting Christmas.

1. Having to wait for the sporadic release of my favorite comic book, Fell. I was never really into comic books enough to create a long-term interest, but this book by Warren Ellis & Ben Templesmith is great.

2. Borat: Fuck this guy in the ass with Shaquille O'Neal's dress shoes. Not funny...NOT FUNNY...NOT FUNNY!!!

3. Missing Concerts: Interpol, still not over this one. Waited forever to see them and low and behold of course...plans get fubar'ed.

I'm not going to make this post an extended rant cause, well why should I waste any more of your time?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

why...

study for a midterm when you can go vacuum cleaner shopping and spend time with the one who, you are sure will eventually rip your heart out via your ass?

It is said that behind every good man is a better woman. I'm not sure if better or craftier is more appropriate. I am sure that I don't want to go to Field of Screams or any of that halloween bullshit tonight.

The things we put up with for love/lust/napping partners.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

not dead...not yet

...sometimes reading about women or watching them in movies or television is just better for your sanity than the real thing. I hung out with my favoritest of lady friends today. Tonight she wanted to jump in the F1, plug in the ipod and just go.

Who am I to say no?

and in my attempt for power and glory, I nearly disembowled the F1 and left my favoritest to spend the night with another man in her bed.

good times...good times.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

The Grind...

Eight minutes to midnight. Sounds like the title of a shitty eighties metal song. Either that or I am starting to lack in the originality department.

I'm going with a lack of originality, it's not like there have been any new ideas in the last 100 years. Ok, as far as an update is concerned...

My job fucking sucks.

Wait, no, that's not quite right. My job is fine, the idiots I work with are making me not want to go to work anymore. Last time this happened,
I ended up leaving a, “fuck you & good bye” letter on my bosses desk, late on a Sunday afternoon. I mean it's still an option but since I have
three years in, I should at least give two weeks so I can use hell as a reference.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm staying employed by hell, just making a lateral move to another department. The good thing about Hell is there are
many, many places to work. Never a dull moment if you know what I mean. The prospect of earning a full-time paycheck while I train for a
big boy job is somewhat gratifying. I mean sure, I'm going to have next to no social life for two years, but shit, I've almost done that for the better
part of 15 years, two should be a walk in the park.

If anything, being back in school, learning, using my brain will probably help me to not feel so stuck. Yes, there will be a plethora of women in
my program, but I really am focused on getting through school as soon as possible. Nursing is not a cake walk and I'm sure there are going to
be nights and days where I wish I had hair left to rip out. At any rate, when I make it through, I can work anywhere in the country and make a
good living doing it.

Plans for independence day are as follows:

6:00am Wake up
6:15 wake up again
6:20 get in shower/wash filthy ass
6:30 dry and dress/shave and brush
6:40 take pills/sigh/gel hair
6:50 turn on computer/glance at news
6:55 leave for work
7:00 get iced tea at T-Ho's
7:05 Arrive at work 5 minutes late.
7:10-8:10 Try and wake up
8:30-3:00PM put up with inane bullshit from co-workers
3:00:01 punch out and leave work
3:30 drive to brother's fiances families house
4:00 do cook out type stuff
9:00 Drive home
9:20 Check email/screw around on interweb/read
12:00 go to bed.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

I've lost that loving feeling...

I'm not going to lie, it's gone...gone...gone.

Even with all of the other nonsense going on in my life, I'm usually good about being able to turn it off and go to work.

Not so much as of late.

I can't see giving 110% to a place that just beats you until you break. Now, I'm not broken, but I'm getting there.

That having been said...

It's time for a graceful exit and time to move on to hopefully greener pastures.

I've been told a change of latitude will help my attitude, this may also be true. Fuck it, it is true.
I'm trying to pick out a date and just go. While I will miss my home, a whipping boy no more will I be.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Bent over again...

It's 9:00AM on Saturday morning and it feels and sounds as if the whole world went out drinking last night. Not that I mind, it's just odd, cause normally I don't notice it. Normally, I am at work. Normally. You see today is special. Today I am taking a Saturday off. I am not working today because I'm upset with my place of employment. So much so, I don't mind burning a vacation day to not be there.

After three years of loyal service, I was passed over for a promotion I was told was going to be mine. I was told this not once but twice, (off the record mind you) by the hiring manager and this job, for all intensive purposes, should have been mine. See they decided to go with someone who has only been employed with the Agency for seven months. Seven months, versus three years...you see where I'm going with this?

Not only does this person not possess the qualifications necessary to even apply for the job, but they lack the skill and finesse necessary to get it done well, the way it needs to be done.

As a result, here I sit in my boxers, on a Saturday morn, drinking iced coffee and blogging, trying to figure out whether I am going to buy guitar hero or one of those things you can dock your ipod in, while you charge and listen to it. All of these things better than being at work on a Saturday.

I hope you all are well.


Cheers,
JJ

Honest Bloggers Quiz...

1. which political party do you typically agree with? democrat

2. which political party do you typically vote for? democrat

3. list the last five presidents that you voted for? Kerry, Gore, clinton, clinton, don't think I was old enough to vote previously

4. which party do you think is smarter about the economy? democrat

5. which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? democrat

6. do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? Should have been gone a long time ago

7. who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? obl and the bush family.

8. do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? even if we did, no one cares anymore. too many civilians and troops on both sides have died.

9. yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? yes.

10. do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? yes

11. do you think bill clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with monica lewinski? no.

12. do you think hillary clinton would make a good president? yes.

13. name a current democrat who would make a great president: hillary

14. name a current republican who would make a great president: mccain

15. do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? yes.

16. what religion are you? Christian.

17. have you read the Bible all the way through? no

18. what's your favorite book? Boys Life, Robert McCammon.

19. who is your favorite band? Hammock

20. who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? whoever the dems put up.

21. what website did you see this on first? tonypierce.com + busblog