Conversations with Helios...

It's 11:11 motherfucker, wake up and make a wish...

Zzzzzz

GET UP!!!

Alright, alright what the hell is your problem?

What have you done today?

Cleaned out my fridge, gone grocery shopping and put a decent dent in the book I'm reading. Why? What's it to you?

Don't talk to me like that.

Hey, you're the one coming in here yelling motherfucker and demanding my consciousness. I'm just saying...

Don't get smart

I'm just saying...

So, 11:11 what's your wish?

Well since I'm not a ninth grade girl, I don't really believe in making wishes on 11:11, so...

Listen, quit being a fucking jackass and just make a wish.

Remember who you are talking to? Jackass Jimmy right?

Yeah, yeah the wish...

I want a big dick

Boring...*yawn* denied

What?

I'm not letting you waste a once in a lifetime opportunity on something that came from the mind of your average high school hockey player.

Fair enough

Besides, you'd probably only stack donuts on it and not put it to good use.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Your WISH...

Fine, I want to have a happy marriage to Sophie Marceau...

You and a bajillion other guys...DENIED

Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what I can and can't wish for when you've obviously given me this wish, with the sole intention of torturing me.

I know I'm The SUN and all and you're not very happy with me right now due to the smackdown of a sunburn I laid on you yesterday, but honestly, not even SPF 15? Your dumb celtic ass should have known better.

I do know better, however, they told me that your UV's would help me with my PSORIASIS!

Who is this “they” you speak of?

The dermatologists, you asshole.

Whoa, whoa there buddy. No need to hurl the insults around like they're on sale.

Well, in the short time you've been here and the longer I'm conscious, the angrier I'm getting. My hot and spicy skin in addition to you telling me all my wishes are DENIED, is making me one not so happy boy.

Really, anything else on your mind?

Besides my car not working, trying to save money for the impending depression, trying to get registered for school, figuring out where and with who I want to spend the rest of my “hopefully” short life with... No, not really.

So would you say your glass is half empty or half full?

If I thought it would do me any good, I would shoot you in the face with a bazooka. Come on with this wish business, you are robbing my basement of all of its cool and when that happens, it's not going to be a pretty site.

Right the wish...go ahead

How about I'm independently wealthy, and a pro-blogger.

Oh, is that all your highness?

Are you fucking kidding me? I thought that other shit was way more greedy in comparison.

Well the independently wealthy is boring for sure. I'm mean who doesn't want to not have to work again. But I was intrigued by the fact you added the pro-blogger on to the end of it. That shows some creativity and ambition.

Yeah well, it's not like I want to be rich so I can sit at home by the pool all day, getting drunk and looking at jack-it mags.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing, it's just not my deal.

So what is your deal?

What the fuck is this the Truman Show or something? Where are the cameras? Is there a studio audience somewhere or are you supposed to represent the Almighty. No, wait...are you supposed to represent some part of me?!?!

Well, what do you think it means?

You know what, FUCK YOU! You're worse than my therapist! Everything is always another fucking puzzle. How about you throw me a break on this one and just tell me what it is that I am struggling to comprehend, so we can move on and part ways.

And what would you learn by me telling you?

Well I would not learn where my threshold for anger is cause this ridiculous back and forth could stop.

Are you angry?

Are you kidding? You obviously have no idea who I am.

Maybe, why don't you just let it go?

What?

The anger...just let it go

Nope, never. It gets me through.

Gets you through what?

Life

Does it really? Do you really want to live an angry life? I mean is it worth it?

The wish, are you granting it or not?

Of course not. Does that make you angry?

No, I figured as much.

Why do you say that?

Cause there are no gifts or free rides in this life. You have to fight and claw for every scrap that falls from the table. So did I think in the blink of an eye things were going to change for me, I'd be a fucking idiot to think that. Birth-school-work-taxes-death...that's it.

Well I'm sorry you see it that way.

Take your sunshine and move on. I need to shower and put on aloe before going back to my awesome job.

Things will get better, you just have to wait.

Yeah well its Life 35 and Jim 0 so, I'm not holding my breath.




I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

PROFANITY BEWARE...

To the fucking asshole who felt the need to steal my garmin, gps from my car while it was in the shop, I hope you really fucking needed it or money.

Apparently you might have needed it to find your last remaining shred of dignity, wait...that's gone cause you're a low-life thieving bastard.

That was my christmas gift from the parents this year. Not having an easy time finding where I sometimes need to be whilst driving, it was a wonderful present.

Thanks for being a low-rent scum bag and ruining what little faith I had left in humanity.

I hope you watch what you love most be killed right in front of you.

To the rest of you...

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

No rest for me...

8:11am and I feel like I ate a case of cat fart sandwiches

mechanic told me part for F1 would not be in until Tues-Wed
after a 16 hour double, including an overnight
without my goddamned cellphone cause I was in a rush
cause I had to walk to work
and walk home
I get home and all I want to do
is
zzzZZZ
but the fucking
beep-beep-beep
of cell phone says, “not yet bro”
and I get the call
that car is fixed and they are going to lock er up'
all of this
at 6:15pm
on Munday
wtf
can't a guy catch a break?
with any luck
this won't cost me eleventy-billion dollars
cause other motherfuckers are hollerin'
for a taste of my cream
and I take life like I take my coffee
black and empty like my
dance-card
bank account
soul

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Holy Good God...

It's a rare sunday morn that I see 5:50
let alone 9:50
but todays the day
up
walked
coffeed
and well into my “STD” list

Shit To Do
not
sexually transmitted disease
as we all know that would be fucking impossible in my case
cause I have none of the sex the kids talk about these days
sad part is...I dont really care all that much
one less thing to be concerned with
something I don't have to pencil into my routine

brought out the ol' lawn mower
tank bone dry...fuck
found legal gas can
drove to stop and shop to
get out and fill 'er up
$9.6ixty something for
2 and a half gallons of
Dubya's liquid get rich strategy
asshole
hopefully pop shows up and I can
be useful to him again
help him avoid buying a new mower
cause
fuck that
needs that
like
a hole in his head

10:04
and rocking out to Placebo
sooooooooo underated
on my list of bands to see
before they
call it
adieux


I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

menomena...

I had barely been asleep ninety minutes when
the crow started with his fuckin' caw-cacawcaw-cawing
badgering his constituents for a reply
or
several choruses of replies.

something about a crow that just makes me mad
I mean mad like
I wanna break some shit
even walking around
doing stuff in or out of the house
I catch sight of a crow and I'm all, “I see you there you sleep-robbing bastard”
go to hell
and usually...as if by some sort of psychic force...the goddamned crow
caw-cacawcaws back at me
laughing
“screw you jackass”
but enough about those filthy black bastards

their inconsiderate concert was enough to force me from my bed
feeling broken-sleep-Dprvd and a wee bit ornery
among other things
to say the least


for a split second I considered some giggigty-giggity
to lull me back to sleep
but I had used that to knock out
plus I knew those crow fuckers would break my concentration

so I slithered down stairs and muttered and puttered about
cleaning the campsite a bit
reading and re-reading some old junk mail
piling up what was deemed to be important enough for a pile
but not important enough to act on
bills...bills...bills
letter from Bill
Bosstones/Murphys tickets
shit for my brother, who hasn't lived here in years

the baboon postcard
from the citrus queen of MN
that made me laugh my chapped-red-ass off
on my way to another miserable day of work

the course catalog
helping me to plot the destruction of
my brain
free time
and social life

piles of ads from
this grocer and that
all telling me what great deals they have
ten-$10
buy 2 get three
whatever
its all been done before
and most days
I wake just in time
to have my first meal of the day
at work
yum

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Make it last...

When I got home from work last night I was tired.
Not just tired but like, beat with a sock full of nickles, tired.
Normally I would complain about this but since I had a migraine about to go off and 600mgs of Ibuprofen..who was I to say anything.
Swig of water, pills in my mouth and I think I was awake for the first two songs off of Phish's Billy Breathes.
There was not a shot in hell I was going to make Prince Caspian.

I slept.
I slept the good sleep.
The kind of sleep that makes you wonder if you are dead when you wake up.
Oddly enough, I had slept a little over four hours.
Again, I'm not going to complain cause it was a solid four hours
and I felt pretty good upon waking up.
except
I was jonzing for a soda so bad, I needed to hit 7-11
a little after five in the morning.

So I fired up the F1
who is still running hot
still a pain in my ass.
I realized I really wanted to listen to led zepplin
traveling riverside blues, a great song Plant and Co stole from legendary blues man
Robert Johnson
but I had to lament having no zepplin, no Johnson on the Gpod
so flogging molly had to suffice
and even though flogging molly reminds me of shewhosnameshallnotbespoken&trade,
I enjoyed listening to them on my cola quest.

Things are and have been weird as of late
we are all getting older
having mid-life crisises and surgeries
just trying to get by
doing what we have to
like drinking more diet soda than is humanly right
drinking three of one bottle to avoid a bottle of a different type
uh-huh.

This feels like the summer that will never come
its been fucking cold and 40 for what seems like 10 years
yesterday was a motherfucker
it was hot and busy and of course...I was at work
everyone had the day off and those who didn't banged out of work
it was me and the Bro, holdin' it down like we always do
9 on 2 on the H unit and with even all the bullshits
Bro and I still threw a shutout
with no shout-outs
no 10q's
no kthnxbys
just be here tomorrow or else's

Or else what
or else I will have to use some of my bazillion vacation hours?
or burn some overtime
fuck you
I show up
every
day
even when I'm so miserable I could dine on a bullet
and you fucking assholes would never know it
cause I'm fucking awesome at what I do
I rule
and never in a million years could you even come close to my skills or work ethic
so don't even bother
cause look at all its gotten me

piles of bills I can't pay
a car I can't take on the highway
a love life as lively as Elvis
and a bright and shiny disposition
wait...maybe that was sarcasm
nope, guess not.

?'s comments, concerns?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Nice tie your Honor...

So...

Yesterday was kind of a shitty day. I started off with the always pleasant, day in court, which I was told I had to show up to...but when I got there I was told otherwise. This was a relief and somewhat of a kick in the balls, as it cost me $25 bucks to park for 20 minutes. However, since I didn't have to sit in court all day, we will look at this as a good thing.

Drove to the grocery store, did some shopping, drove home.

Ate a late breakfast, talked to some peeps online, cruised the internets. Not to much was going on and I really wanted to take a nap, but I had one problem. I still had to go to work. After being up all morning and going through somewhat more than my normal amount of daily stress, I said, “eff work” and called in to tell them I was bangin' out for my shift. Let me just say this, I've had some shitty, shitty jobs. Even jobs where I've shoveled shit, but never in my employment life have I had a job where it has been tougher to call out for work. Honestly, I wanted to hide my car and belly crawl all over my house last night, as I was sure the Agency was going to send top level operatives to check on me, to see if I, “really was sick.”

Anyway...

I needed to relax after my nap so, I got up, put sneakers on and went for a walk. Initially I planned to go around the block but one block turned into a couple and before I knew it, I had traveled through more hoods than I had even thought about: the 'ville, Centredale, Greystone, Fruit Hill, Orchard Park. Maybe it's just me and I could have just been aggravated and overly sensitive but everything around here sucks. I cannot wait until I'm done with school so I can pack up and get the fuck out of here.

I'm sure there are those that would bid me good riddance. If that's the case, then fine but this is probably someone who knows nothing outside the realm of North Providence and Florida.

Nothing but savages in this town.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

There she goes...again

Sometimes you have good ideas and sometimes your ideas go rogue.

Me, getting my sleep schedule somewhat under my own control...GOOD IDEA. Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper with breakfast...rogue. In my defense, I do have an unhealthy love affair with soda. Beverage choice gone rogue.

I've decided to keep a food journal. Not as a diet tool but more of a way to actually see what I'm eating and how it makes me feel. I'm thinking I can probably eliminate some problems or perhaps even keep some others from springing up by just taking a look at what it is I'm putting in the old gas tank.

In other news...

Can I tell you how sick and tired I am of putting up with people's bullshit? I sat around for months...literally months listening to somuchmorethaneyecandy™'s tales of whoa when she got dicked over by her significant other. I listened intently to what it felt like when someone you care about totally ignores you and leaves you like trash on the side of the road. I listened actively and gave good advice when solicited and sometimes even when it was not wanted. Somuch™ got a new job recently and we've not been in touch for awhile. It's not like I haven't been trying. There have been phone calls and text messages unreturned. Facebook messages unread, and im's that may or may not have been read. I give up trying to be a good person and or friend. Why? Cause when you read an away message something to the affect of, “I'm so happy to have finally found someone who gives me as much as I give them...blah blah blah I love you dickhead!!!” you realize you were never anything more than free coffee, therapy and a mindless distraction to get someone between relationship A and B. Fuck that, go waste someone elses time.

Weather has been much nicer and the sun is making me happy like your first time in the “make out” closet. More work today, but I don't even care since it's so nice. Not only that but the latest oject of my desire comes back from her weekend today. That is always fun.

What else do you want to hear about? What's going on with you?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Decent Monday...

It was only a matter of time before he would ask me about her. I will admit that it was somewhat odd, working with him I mean. He really wasn't that bad, and being civil came pretty easily but at the same time, I really didn't feel like talking about shewhosnameshallnotbespoke™. His tone smacked of disbelief, like it was the oddest thing in the world that could have happened to him. “I mean we were dating for 6 months and then bam! Nothing...”

Sorry dude, but I don't fucking care. You only get one chance to fuck me over and then I'm done. Shewhosnameshallnotbespoken™ did a great job on me, so it's not like I give a shit about anything dealing with her. I'm glad you went above and beyond and tried talking to her, her sister, and her extended family, but to say you were dating her for 6 months is only lying to yourself. She doesn't date anyone. She may have been exclusive with you for two weeks, maybe even a month, but know for certain, she was totally fucking at least one other person besides you. I could be wrong but when you guys used to “make love” she was definitely thinking of someone else and wishing she were anywhere but under your low-rent ass.

You wanna talk current events...cool
You wanna talk music...cool
You wanna talk red sox...cool

let's leave women out of the possibilities of conversation.

Weather is getting nicer. Not such a drag to be awake during the daylight hours. Decent weekend even though I spent most of it in a compromised state of consciousness. Hung out with Reef and her friends, at her friends house. Place is gorgeous, very much like what I'm looking for and they've done a great job with it.

Weird but good dreams recently.

Work soon. That is all.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Good sleep.

Let me start out by saying that I hate hate hate American Idol. I think the show is void of any substance or quality and that like most other things on television these days, it's a giant fucking waste of time. However, when I heard that one of the contestants, David Cook was going to be performing, Innocent, by Our Lady Peace, I had to check out David's performance. Did I tune in? Hell no, I waited two days and watched that shit on youtube.

What can I say? I agree with the critics, bad choice of song. Not that Raine Maida, (lead vocals, OLP) is the greatest vocalist ever, but he is very, very talented. For someone like Cook, talented and trying to prove it, to chose a song like Innocent, just seems foolish. To be fair, Cook did not mangle the song, but it wasn't very pretty. He started off key and with his limited time for performance, showing the crowd and home audience the inspirational message, written on the inside of your hand, that's not going to cut it. It might work for Chris Martin of Coldplay, but who are we kidding here?

END OF AI BULLSHITS...

So, last night, after work, ended up in dive bar on wrong end of town, with boss and old boss and more beers than anyone wanted to drink. The place was a dump and I'm not a fan of any establishment that tries to pass itself off as an “irish bar” by putting up paper shamrocks and leprechauns all over the fucking place. Something tells me there are supply companies who cater to this type of place and have all sorts of knicknacks that look aged and authentic but, in reality have just rolled off the assembly line in China.

LAME

at any rate, beers were drunk and afterward, my boss asked me to ride with him to Wendy's. It was literally 200 yards down the street an on my way home. When I told him I'd rather take my own car, he looked hurt and told me, “but then we won't get to eat our jbc's “bro style.” Bro style? Are you fucking kidding me? If I ever get to the point were I am so pickled with booze on a regular basis that my life is tragically sad and pathetic, to the point where I need to eat fast food, “Bro style”...please kill me. Wow, sometimes I wonder how some people make it through the parts of their lives where there is not someone there to hold their hand.

I was looking over the line up for this summers Warped Tour and I have to admit I was very disappointed not seeing Bad Religion in the line up. I was going to go and catch them last year, but “shewhosnameshallnotbespoken&trade” was giving me a hard time and therefore I missed the show. Going one step further, I was looking on BR's site and there don't seem to be any summer dates, at least in the U.S. Booooooooooooooooooooooooo. However, as an Angels and Airwaves fan, I was happy to see they are playing the whole tour. Maybe I can get out there and see them. Other than that, my only concert plans for the summer are Tom Petty and Dave Matthews, but this can change at any moment.

I think thats all I have for right now.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

I'm in neutral...

So here I am again at 3:43 in the morning, awake, when I should be sleeping. Drinking coffee when I should be sleeping, night dreaming of a different life, when I should be sleeping. Are we seeing a common and consistent theme here? I know I am.

I'm not sure if I went on a date tonight or not. I mean I could have, but at the same time I could have just gone and spent some time with someone I met through one of these damn social networking sites. At any rate, I was able to go and see Blithe Spirit at the TRC. I don't really remember what the last real show I saw was. I mean I saw Rent a few months ago, but if you're in the theater, musicals are generally not regarded as, “real theater” but more fluff or mind candy. Musicals are the Clive Cussler's and Stephen King's of the theatrical world. I will say it was cool to finally talk with TJ in person, versus through various forms of internet communication. I had a good time and oddly enough ran into someone from MN, who went to the same college as me, graduated from the same program I did, and even had some of the same friends as me, yet we never met. Not completely odd at a big school, but SMU was 1,500 undergrad if I was lucky. Sara was so surprised that we were meeting and running into one another. I guess that's how you view things when you live in such a huge state. Me, I can't go to the mall or the grocery store without running into at least three people.

My mind is tired but my body will not let me rest. There is an impending event, one which I will not mention, because I just want it to pass without too much fanfare. Work has been going well but to be honest, things change from one day to the next and often policies and procedures that were the standard the night before, often change before I punch in for my next shift. Being a person who is all about stability, safety and security, all of these fuckin' changes make me grumpy. I just want to go to work, do my job and go home. One could say that is the sentiment of someone who is not willing to go that extra mile. That may be true but if you have ever known me in any capacity, you know the last thing I am is lazy. You know the amount of abuse and nonesense I've put up with working at Bullshit Inc. over the past 4 years and you also know there are no perks to my job, other than the sense of personal satisfaction I have, knowing I make a difference in the lives of kids, who could give two shits about me. To them I am primarily a wallet and / or joykill. I used to get raises and tuition reimbursement at my job, but those have been gone for going on three years. People in my program make the most $$$ out of anyone in our agency. Come to find out, talking to a friend of mine, her brother started off making basically what I make, with no degree. That doesn't bother me too much, however, the fucking idiots I used to work with, the one who came in 3 years after me and was making .50 cents more an hour, and had no administrative responsibilities...that shit burns my ass. I hate my employer and can't wait to finish nursing school so I can get the fuck out of there.

This weekend there's a beer pong tourney at bfd's. Not sure if I want to go but at the same time, I'm not sure what else there will be to do. I mean I would like to hang with my family at some point. Even if that means I have to drive down the coast. I think the drive with some sunglasses, my ipod and hopefully not to much traffic will do me good. I can take some time to walk on the beach and let the brisk sea air wash over me, maybe even take some of the negatives and nasties away with it. Of course all of this will be interrupted by my boss calling me, asking if I want to go and get drunk, just like he does any other day ending in Y.

Saw Doomsday the other night. Total guy flick but I still enjoyed it. I will say this, there seems to be a disturbing trend in deadly plague/virus films and that shit scares me. Just the shots from movies like 28 Days Later, with the streets of London quiet as graveyard, or New York City over grown in vegetation, with wild animals running amok because humans no longer live there....gives me a case of the heebie jeebies.

Man, what I'd give for two weeks on a beach in Thailand right now.


I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Earlier and earlier...

Again with the up before God syndrome today.

Lucky for you I decided not only to blog, but to put some pictures from mi vida loca. It should come as no surprise to any of you, by this point, that I LOVE coffee. I mean I love coffee to the point that I was smiling as I was typing the word coffee. It has been both a torrid love affair and a problem in the past and more than likely will be so again in the future. I like all kinds of coffee. I would not consider myself a coffee snob, but I know my way around a cup o' joe. This morning I set out with the intentions of picking up some Peet's coffee. I saw Major Something or other's blend and that seemed to be what I was looking for, but as my eyes perused the coffee aisle at Stop&Shop, they fixed themselves to something that is almost embarrassing to admit. BLUEBERRY COBBLER COFFEE.

* Sigh * I know...I know. To my fellow java-junkies out there, this probably sounds like a steaming pile of horseshit and my membership card to our exclusive club has been revoked but the fact the bag was giving off a heavenly scent of blueberries, (one of my more favorite fruits and a wonderful source of antioxidants) there was no way I was going to be able to resist. Even though I put the bag into my cart saying, “this is going to be absolutely terrible” my skepticism could not force me to put it back on the shelf, and get something endorsed by the coffee king himself.

Now on my second cup, after enjoying a lovely breakfast consisting of oatmeal, raisins and fresh sliced mango, I have to admit, New England Coffee Company's Blueberry Cobbler Coffee is not only delicious but, has my kitchen smelling of summers long ago, when my grandmother would make a dessert for picnics called Blueberry Slump. Something along the lines of a cobbler, well pretty much the same thing, maybe it was called Slump because cobbler didn't sound waspy enough? That alone is enough for me to brew more than one pot.

I like hitting the supermarket as soon as it opens obviously for the lack of lines but also because things are quiet and in order and generally I can find what I want and get in and get out, kind of like a trumpet player in an Orange County Ska band. * wink-wink * At 6AM things are not all fubar'd and what's better than that? Not having to deal with roaming bands of brigands and hooligans and backyardigans and all sorts of the bullshits. Plus, at 6AM there is NEVER a line at the REDBOX. Any other time of day, your ass is waiting like 10-15 minutes if you are lucky, and that's if you are only returning.

I returned American Gangster and We Own the Night, both of which were meh. I got the uncut version of American Ganster and that had to push almost 4 hours. At some point you have to say, “this is going to end just like Titanic...and rap it up.” Performances in We Own the Night were good but I never believed anyone. I love Duvall, Phoenix and Wahlberg but, the three of them as father and sons, not buying it, sell it to someone else.




It's looking like it's going to be a great day so I may try and get outside and take some more photos. If not, there will be more posting. Either way, you win!

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Need sleepy...

Up un-godly early again. For me that's like 5:30 or something of that insanity.

Work was fucking crazy last night, like FUCKING CRAZY!!! At times I was wondering how much longer I'm going to be able to do my job. See, the entire first shift called out of work yesterday. Apart from that being total bullshit, it basically set up me and my co-workers for a night of total chaos. To say I was less than thrilled would be an understatement. I got to work and realized I knew no one working on the unit. AWESOME...that means that people would run out of there faster than, fraternity brothers at a busted frat party...( I know that sucked, but I'm still waking up.)

There will be no coffee this morning. I'm thinking I need to get some more sleep. I have been having almost vivid dreams and the fact they have been so intense, yet I can't remember details is making me somewhat angry.

I'm also considering shaving my head and just making donations to locks of love. I can't deal with having hobo hair anymore.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

It's Coffee Time...

My sleep schedule is severely fucked up. It's five-thirty in the AM and I've yet to hit the hay. It would be great if this was due to leading a wondrous and exciting life but in all actuality, it's just cause I've nothing better to do and well...sleep just seems dumb.

See, when I was a freshman in college, I would stay up for days on end. I was used to burning the candles at both ends, working 90 hours a week and spending the rest of my time traveling around the NorthEast, following bands, probably all of whom, no longer exist. When I moved to MN to go to college, it was my first time away from home and although I pretty much had all the freedom I needed under my parents roof, I was still under my parents roof and in college, there were women around.

This whole women around thing would have been great, had I taken advantage, but I was still in my, “angry young man” phase of my life, not to mention, I hated my new surroundings and school as well. However, there usually was someone around to shoot the breeze with or at least stay up and watch a movie or Simpson's reruns. I remember toward the tail end of my freshman year, just spontaneously falling asleep, like to the point I thought I was narcoleptic. Luckily for me, I was just just succumbing to outrageously high blood sugars, and about a month later, be diagnosed with type two diabetes.

Sophomore year rolled around and even though my attitude about school and the one horse town in which I was living changed, my sleep habits had not. I had roommates who also reveled in procrastination and the small hours of the evening. Many times my roommate would just becoming home as I was giving up and going to bed, somewhere around the 2AM mark. He was an athlete, a fraternity brother and a bunch of other shit which required a great deal of time. Plus he was trying to enjoy the freedoms of college just like the rest of us. Sophomore year I started to actually take classes within the theater department. Classes which not only required a shit load of reading and processing time, but also time doing manual labor and other shit in the scene or costume shops. Plus, if you wanted to be involved in a production, well your evening homework hours, just went out the fucking window.

I can remember many nights, leaving the theater after rehearsal close to midnight, starving and picking up whatever was left under the heat lamps at the campus grill, having three loads of laundry to do, with at least 2-3 hours of homework in front of me if I was lucky. Often, the nightime quiet that allowed me to do my homework was interrupted by some fucking tool business major, drunk and fucking, drunk and loud, drunk and loudly fucking but always drunk and annoying. My favorite was when I would be doing homework when they went out to walk their “girlfriends” home and then when they came back hours later, I was still at the same table, with the same books, slaving away. “Holy Jeez, you're still studying huh?” “What do they teach you over there in that theater department, how to be gay?” sigh... yeah that's exactly what they teach us over there in that building, how to be gay and how not to take hostages when you assholes can't stay awake for an hour and a half performance for artscore class. That's what they teach us.

Oddly enough I had my highest GPA during my sophomore year.

Junior year started with me living in London, England. Sleep forget that, I'm in a different country. A place with stuff that stays open all night, has great public transit and everyone speaks English. Screw going to bed. Thursday night were the biggest jokes ever. Most Friday mornings, the entire class would get on a bus, ride for three to four hours, go look at some cathedral and then go home. So, it's not like we needed to be bright eyed and bushy tailed. Thursday my mates and I would get out of class round three or four, pop in to the “Victory Pub” for a pint or 9 and then go home and either cook or grab a bite to eat and then nap it up. A couple hours later, showered and smartly dressed, we were on the blue line headed for Leicester Square and The Equinox. We'd arrive right at ten, before people started pouring in and while there was room to breathe we could dance freely. We went so frequently, we became friendly with some of the locals and doormen. Feni, who was either Pakistani or Afghani and lived in London, was a great guy with a better sense of humor and enough patience to teach me some dance moves. Feni, myself, Supersonic, Reetah, Holyshit and rml would often dance until the lights came on somewhere around 4AM or when one or more of us said “enough...we've class in a few hours.” This usually prefaced a huge slice of pizza from street vendors, a minicab home and about two hours of sleep before having to be up, showered and ready for dance class in Zone 4, when we were living in Zone 1. To say there were some miserable faces at dance classes was an understatement. If our teacher wasn't such a fun-loving and energetic fairy, I'm sure the our hang-overs and her intolerable bad breath would have kept more people back at the flat under the comfort of their double-thick eiderdowns.

My return to the states and more specifically to the planet of Winona, had me just as sleepless, but 100 million times more disenchanted. This is not to say I hated Winona, I didn't but my options for the night time were severely limited. Enter the era of story time with Brown Guy, video hockey, CHW and the red-head across the hall.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Again???ok...again

So again my day starts off with a bang. Up early, basically all night. Why? I have no idea.

Wait, maybe it's because I work with a psycho, who drinks 7 nights a week. Maybe I'm a fucking vampire? This second shift shit is for the birds.

Anyway...

Up early, bring the F1 in to get checked out. It's been running really hot lately, and rather than have my engine explode on me, I figure some preventative maintenance is in order.

Dropped it off, then walked downtown to Timmy's, grabbed coffee and walked back home. Here I sit clackity-clacking my thoughts.

Last night, at Parker's the question again came up, “Why are you single again?”

I took a nice drink of whiskey and pondered the answer to the question that will not go away.

“I don't even know anymore.” fell off my lips. “I guess I don't care, don't have time for bullshit...who knows?” The boss grinned and looked at me with a twinkle in his eye.

“No seriously, why are you alone?” I was starting to get aggravated, finished my Jameson and ordered another. The boss was still looking at me, he was not going to let this one drop. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I stood with a gun to his head. “You really wanna fuckin' know that bad do YA?” The whiskey was strong, hints of slow aged oak, pain and regret lingered on my lips and on my tongue. For whatever reason, I continued through the valley of the shadow of death. As I thought of a suitable reply, flashes of days gone by played like movie clips in my mind, songs I haven't listened to in a hundred years suddenly came to memory and it was as if love was rearing its ugly fucking head again.

Look there is the answer you want to hear and there is the answer I'm going to give you, I snapped. “We've been over this before and I'm putting my love life on the same list as politics and religion.” Connie Marie laughed and poured me another Jameson. “This one's on the house kiddo” she winked and rubbed my shoulder as only a mother who tends bar could. My boss grinned an impish grin and let me speak. “You want me to tell you that I'm afraid of being in a relationship. That's just not the case. I love women, talk to them all the time. However, since my last several experiences have been, shall we say...less than positive, I don't really feel the need to jump into anything right away. More specifically and finally what I mean by that is, I'm sick and fucking tired of putting it all out there, only to have my heart ripped out through my ass and then have the pleasure of putting both my heart and mind back together. I'm patient but I don't think I've the energy nor wherewithall to deal with that bullshit again. Let me go to work, go to school, spend my free time as I like to...ON MY OWN, and let's be done with it.”

“Alright man, I'm gonna go have a cigarette and then we'll talk.” I gave him the sideways glance, eyes narrowed, “whatever.” He walked out the door and I could feel the motherly advice coming on. “You're not going to find happiness in that glass, you know.” Connie looked at me as if I were on my last few dollars. “I know,” I said. “But it makes the pain in my shoulders and neck ease up a little and quiets my brain enough for me to fall asleep at night.” “Yeah, I'm sure it does, but you wake up the same way you went to bed.” The sides or her lips were turned up, almost as if she were trying not to smile. “How do you mean” I asked. “alone” was all she said.

It could have been the whiskey, the company, a rough two days at work or a combination of any or all of the aforementioned, but I was pissed. I was getting it from both ends and didn't know how to stop it. I finished the the last of my whiskey and ordered another. The door flew open and Bossman came bounding in. “I've got it...YOU'RE AFRAID!!” “That's easy...we can fix that no problem.” Stunned, were it not for the two gulps of Jameson I knocked back one after the other, I would have known not what to say. At least the tears of ragepainembarrassment could be been mistaken for the burn of whiskey. I left my half of the tab and a decent tip on the bar, grabbed my keys and phone, and walked out into the temperate March night.

In case you were wondering, this is also my curse. According to these guys, there is love burning to find me...



whatever

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

The Day After...

Nothing going on but the rent. I slept waaaaay in this AM as I have been feeling a bit under the weather lately. I feel like I have some positive energy but not to much more than starting at zero.

I just sneezed for the 78th time in two minutes. Annoying.

Work was bonkers last night. A ton of bullshit even after I left. My phone rang at 6:holyshititsearly this AM. Two call outs and did I want to work a double? Thank God for voicemail! Don't try to guilt me into shit, just cause I took an extra day off cause my ass was a firehose on Sunday. Those that did not feel the need to go to work today are fucking the brother of the boss and the other one, well she is just busy fucking everyone.

Awesome...

Just ate some great oatmeal with raisins, drank some green tea and now I think it's time for my pre-work relaxation and some tunes.

More tonight.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Java What???

I wish I could say I woke up like a house on fire and raring to go but truth be told, I basically stayed up all night. See I went grocery shopping and while so doing got a call from Somuchmorethaneyecandy™, she wanted to meet at Brewed Awakenings for coffee. Somuch™ and I haven't hung out in like three weeks so, I was down. I get there maybe 5 minutes before her and the place is packed, packed like the $20 Fung Wa bus from Boston-NYC. Like not an open seat or table in the joint. I scan the joint like a sniper searching for their target. There are plenty of seats but people have their bags, laptops, homework, high school and otherwise piled all over the place, therefore, since almost everyone in there was being an inconsiderate asshole, Somuch™ and I were forced to go down the street to Dunkin Blownuts.

Awesome...

We sat there for a while shooting the shit, talking about this and that and what all I've been up to, I.E. WORK and what she does with her free time, WORK. She asked if I still planned on moving to TN once I'm done with nursing school. I told her I thought so but that nothing is ever set in stone, however, someplace definitely warmer than the NE. She asked me about WV and what I thought about it? I told her, “never been there but not ruling it out.” She confided she was interested in going to gradschool for sports psychology and there was some great program at some small school. Somehow I think this plan as well as others may change, but that is yet to be determined.

Around 6:30 this morning I decided to start getting myself together. I wanted to get some coffee at Timmy's before the masses were up and out in full force. It being Monday, school buses, garbage trucks, recycling trucks and all sorts of other nonsense are on the road. I hoped to beat the rush. I bounced out the door about 7:10, not too late but I needed to get a move on if I wanted a round trip of less than 15 minutes. The wind was the first thing to hit me and sporting only cargo shorts and a sweatshirt, I about shit out my spine from being cold. Spring sure is taking its leisurely fucking time getting here. I fire up the F1 and she responds begrudgingly, there is no time to warm up, I can see the kids walking to their respective bus stops, some wearing coats, some wearing...I don't even know what to call what these fucking kids are wearing.

I tear ass out of the drive way and remember it is no longer Sunday so, rock music has once again returned to the radio. No ipod this AM, not enough time. I listen to two songs from the WBRU three -way: Stone Temple Pilots' Interstate Love Song and “Orange Crush” by REM and postulate the theme of the three-way may be “road-tripping” but you can bet your ass I'm not sitting in my car to figure it out. There will be commercials and banal radio banter before an answer and my time is precious.

Pull into the drive thru at Timmy's and order 2 large HOT toasted almond coffees, LIGHT, sans sucre. That's no sugar for those of you not in the know. Timmy's is a Canadian company and sometimes JackassJimmy has to kick it to them in the native tongue, just to make sure they don't slip him some sugar to take his diabetic ass out. Besides, I reserve my give and take of sugar for the ladies. Yeah, you know what I'm saying... wink*wink*. Pull around, pay and am handed two coffees, out the window, no tray. The girl in the window looks like the last time she went to bed, Alf was still on t.v. I am indeed JackassJimmy and so I give her the wink and say, “Good thing my cupholders aren't filled up with change or anything.” She doesn't get it and I just grab my shit and roll. One cup in a cup holder, the other warming my cockles and killing millions of potential Jackass offspring.

Make it back to the hizzo, not in record time, but respectable. Coffees in hand, jump out of the F1, not thinking, lock keys in car. Karma comes around and tickles my asshole again. Not only did I lock my keys in the car but my dome light is on. I can hear my battery laughing at me. I put the coffee on the front stairs and vow to gut anyone who touches them while I'm gone. Jump down over the retaining wall and pray the cellar door is unlocked. It's not, but the window is. Pull a semi B&E and get in, in one piece. Twig and berries are frosty but I'm ok. Sprint upstairs through the house and to the front door. Open it up to see the trash fuckers spying my coffee. They back off cause JJ has street cred and has been here since Moses wore short pants. Get my toasted almond java and back in the fortress of solitude™. So here I sit, writin', sippin on coffee, eating oatmeal with raisins, it doesn't get much more mid-life crisis than this.

This post was brought to you by the magic of coffee and KEXP 90.3 Seattle.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Manic Monday...

I got nothing for you on a Monday morning so three quick questions to get the blood flowing:

If you could have any music group or musician play at a party, who would you hire?
If money were no object, I would probably get Less Than Jake or The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. If I were have to pay for it out of pocket, maybe Dazy Head Mazy.

Name three things to be happy about today.
Four more days until the weekend.
I'm no longer hungover.
Managed to get a lot of cleaning done yesterday.

How do you release frustration?
Dancing and singing along to good music
Video Games
Exercise
masturbation

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

OUT OF COMMISSION...

So I did something today I typically don't do. I called out of work. I just couldn't deal either physically or emotionally and therefore...I had an unexpected three day weekend. It doesn't seem like it to me because I spent most of my time, doing shit I didn't want to do or thinking about stuff I would rather not have but at any rate, at least I was able to get myself back in semi-working order.

In a couple of minutes I'm going to run to the grocery store and pick up some food. I don't have anything here I think I should put into my body right now and at this point, the 67,000 gallons of water I've consumed since last night are just not doing it for me.

Even though I hate going out, especially to bars/clubs, the highlight of last night was running into Mr. & Mrs. D-fense. I met D-fense while working at Fleet ben Bank of America and we were able to get ourselves through the most torturous job in history. D and I have tried to keep in contact since we went our separate ways but it's been hard. He is now married and when he's not doing the married thing, he's grading papers, as he teaches high school english. I like Mrs. D-fense but like so many other of my friends wives, I get the feeling she doesn't care for me all that much. Anyway, D-fense and I rehashed some of the good ol days and after awhile, he mentioned how much he also hates going, out and how we should get together for some guitar hero or something. Now that, I can get behind.

I'll write more later, but right now I'm on a grocery buying mission.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Damn I miss Winona...

What's up I are drunk blogging. I went out tonight against my will and better judgement and as I sit here and type this, I just finished eating most of a large fries and 5 all the way from, The Avenue Grill.

If you know what Im talking about,the you are either from RI or are cooler than me.

I went to McFadden's tonight and even though it was semi cool, I still would have rather stayed hiome and read a book.

Now all I can think about is passing out and banging out of work tomorrow. Awesome...
thansk booze, yer the bestsz!

No green bere tonight, just Guinness.

I hope you are all well.

Cheers,
JJ

I'm sinking slowly...

1:58 AM and here I sit banging out yet another installment of, “Called Out at Home.”

Earlier, I broke one of the cardinal rules of blogging, at least one of the rules laid down by, “the blogfather.” I revealed my blog to someone I know. Someone who knows me, and more importantly, someone who makes unannounced, guest appearances in my blog. However, as I have been doing more and more things outside of my comfort zone, “fuck fear” I'm still going to write what I think and feel. Those of you and yes, there are more than one, who read about yourselves in my blog and don't dig on what you are reading...

There are a million and one other fucking things you could be doing right now!

Later on tonight I will be going out for St. Patrick's day. Yeah...it's a week early and I fucking hate going out for St. Paddy's day but if I don't the relentless amount of bullshit I will have to endure from my co-workers is going to be more of a price than, enduring the disease that is Providence night-life for a few hours.

Earlier today I played some Guitar Hero II: Legends of Rock. Fun. Then I did some laundry and looked at my hair for awhile. God damn do I want to cut it! Why can't locks of love accept donations of 5 inches? Phone call to a friend, pasta and beans, writing, remembering or lackthereof.

I think I am developing arthritis in my neck and shoulders. Getting older is awesome. U2 playing in the background and I can still hear the absence of the clackity-clack of my fingers banging the keyboard. What would Chuck Bukowski say? He'd probably call me a pussy, punch me in the back of the head, and tell me to have a drink and get back at it. Thanks Chuck, a blow to the head and a drink are exactly what I need right now. Jerk.

What I really need is some warm weather, some good conversation and some peace and quiet time. Maybe on a beach somewhere in the south pacific. Maybe somewhere where there is no internet and I would have to again scribble my thoughts in composition books bought for a few dollars at the local CVS(hate that fucking place) before leaving civilization.

I turn 35 soon and all I want is to be done with school. To be able to move away, start a new job and a new life of peace and quiet and disconnect. A life consisting of work, four walls, good music, better food, great coffee, and solitude. I want my birthday to pass without notice and will do as much as I can to make sure that happens, even if I have to get a court order to seal my records from my boss. Fuck a birthday card and a balloon. I still have to go to work. The last thing I want to have to do is go out with people I don't really like all that much and drink.

Maybe I'm exorcising demons. Maybe that's what all of this, “FUCK FEAR” bullshit is? Maybe it's a last ditch attempt at being cool. I mean like really cool, not just the, “hey, at least my mom thinks I'm cool,” kind of cool.

Now the Goo Goo Dolls are on and the pain that resides in Iowa is called to mind and to be honest, I could care less. People make their beds, dirty and otherwise and regardless, they have to sleep in them. A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio and I won't tell them your name. Or mine or who I once was or hoped to be.


I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Eat it...

A friend recently gave me a topic to expound upon: The Current State of Fast Food in the Ocean State. While at first I was a bit hesitant, after some thought, there are several things I would like to bring up.

It Ain't What It Used To Be: There was a time when you could go and eat at a fast food restaurant, or take it away and not feel as though you were not getting hijacked both financially and nutritionally. Those days seem to be long gone. Has anyone noticed the combo meals, originally designed to, “save time and money” are not really of any value? What kills me is that on the menu, with pictures of exquisite food items, never to reach your hands, the “value meals” are always crowded with that little blurb saying something to the effect of, “get the sandwich for $5.99 or the COMBO FOR $23.99!!!!” It's almost as if these companies are betting on the fact we've become such lazy, non-thinkers, so entrenched in an instant gratification society, that we won't take five seconds to do the math, because those seconds don't come with freedom fries and enough soda to make three small children piss their pants. Corporate America is betting on the fact that we as consumers are going to feel good about shelling out hard-earned cash for something dressed up in bright colors, with tons of exclamation points and cool graphics. “HOLY SHIT!!! THIS IS A GREAT DEAL!!! DON'T MISS OUT BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS BUYING THIS GARBAGE!!!!!” Honestly...

I remember a time when you could get two bean burritos and a drink at Taco Bell for like $2.25. Now I know I sound like Grampa Grouch, someone's dad or just a crotchety old bastard typing things like this but on a recent drive thru experience, not at Taco Bell, I ordered one of the aforementioned “value meals” and my total was something like $9.50. After thanking the squawk-box, drove around muttering to myself, “WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST GET THAT'S $9.50? FUCK THAT RED-HEADED WHORE AND HER FUCKING SQUARE HAMBURGERS!!!” Honestly, I hate the taste of the meat at Wendy's and feel that it's on par with what I think aardvark shit would taste like. If it's Wendy's for me, its chicken. But enough about the economics...

Our Discriminating Pallets: I found out about ten years back that RI is used as a test market by many companies, especially those in the food and beverage industry. Think I'm kidding, go to a Dunkin Donuts outside of the North East and see if you can find the menagerie of bullshit sold at your local Rhody Dunkin'. Flatbreads, pizza, toasted submarine sandwiches, bagel sandwiches, smoothies, kooladas, and generally anything void of any nutrition. There was a time when the double D, sold coffee and donuts, that was it. I can remember being a kid and sometimes accompanying my dad, on his Saturday coffee run. The selection of donuts was wall to wall, but back then, stores were not the size of warehouses to accommodate a million different types of products. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the selection nazi and I don't think our choices of coffee should be black or not black nor plain or sprinkles for donuts, but the cynic in me does believe we are assaulted with so many choices, that we can be goaded into the more expensive, “tastier, more bang for you buck(wink-wink) options.”

Anyone remember Crystal Pepsi? Probably not since it was an abomination against God and all his children, but I bet the person who pitched it to Pepsi remembers. They probably remember very well because it more than likely ruined their career and they never worked again. My reason for bringing Crystal Pepsi up was that back in 1992, it was test marketed in three cities: Dallas, Denver and you guessed it Providence. Why little Rhody you ask? Due to the fact we have such discerning tastes and also that we don't stand for bologna. Anyhow this seems relevant to me as the quality of fast food nose-dives for the basement. When Domino's pizza first opened up the pizza was not Casserta's but it was good and quick. Now when I hear Domino's, I think Turd in a Box. The same of Papa John's , they were great out of the gate, but now their pizza is of questionable quality. Why pay for the name and get screwed when I can get a pizza exponentially better from a local merchant? If you live in the Providence or North Providence area, two words, GOLDEN CRUST.

Target Market: My friends and I often talk about nothing. We've elevated it to an art form higher than Larry David could ever hope to achieve and food often comes up, as we all enjoy eating. Recently, the airwaves have been inundated with commercials from fast food companies, NOWHERE NEAR HERE, more specifically SONIC. When I went to college in the Mid West, I was introduced to Hardee's and Carl's Jr. basically the same place with a different name. Anyway, back then, coming from an area where Rockdonald's, BurgerSchwing and the aforementioned red-headed whore were our only burger options, Hardee's was a breath of fresh air. I fell in love and maybe it was like being attracted to the punk rock girl in high school, when all of your friends were young republicans or maybe it was just the fact that greasy shit tastes awesome at 3 in the morning, even if it still greasy shit. Long story short. I love drinks. I have always been a drink guy, trying the new Snapple flavors as they came out, the extreme drinks, the fuels, the NO FEARS, basically anything I could get my hands on. Last summer, after about a year of hearing about all of Sonic's 12,000 different drink combinations, I couldn't take it any more. I googled the nearest location: Ephrata, PA 290 miles South West of me. One night, beginning of my weekend, I fueled up the F1 and made the pilgrimage. The food was of great quality for fast food, but the drinks were awesome. I love the fact you can get any drink you want in slush form. Being a diabetic, I also appreciate the fact there is more than one diet/sugar free drink option on the menu. Not only could I get Diet Coke, but Diet Dr. Pepper (FUCK YEAH!!) and an assortment of other non-syrup-laden choices. I went with a Diet Cherry Limeade and to be honest, I've never been much of an -ade fan, but that drink was delicious. I bring this story up only because the commercials nearly drove me fucking insane. Now, I'm seeing commercials for Red Robin, Chick-fil-a and a whole host of bullshit. It's enough to make me throw my television out the window.

So, in conclusion, until we stop paying for shit, we will continue to eat it. Yeah the drive thru is easy but what are you really getting? If you are really after something truly horrible for you, there nothing better than a stop at the N.Y. System for a few, all the way.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Sorry...

Needed to hear the keys under the weight of my fingers.

My Current life:
1. What was the highlight of your week? Friday & Saturday...not working

2. Whose car were you in last? besides mine: JG's

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone? Haley's Comet comes again when?

4. What color shirt are you wearing? blue

5. How long is your hair? Annoying and almost in my mouth

6. Are you good looking? I don't have horns or live under a bridge...

7. Last movie you watched? Into the Wild

8. Who were you with? myself

9. Last thing you ate? Chicken sandwich

10. Last thing you drank? Diet coke

11. When was the last time you had your heart broken? I lost count

12. Who came over last? No one comes over....ever.

13. Are you happy right now? I've been better and I've been worse.

14. What did you say last? "Thank you"

15. Where is your phone? On the desk next to me

16. What color are your eyes? blue

17. Are you left-handed? nope

18. Spell your name without vowels: Jms

19. Do you have any pets? No

20. Favorite Vacation? A what?

21. What do you dislike currently? the cold weather/my job

22. What are you listening to? The keyboard

23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be? The last 12 years of my life back

24. What is your favorite scent? Freshly shampooed female

25. Who makes you happiest? unconsciousness

26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Attempting to sleep

27. When is your birthday? Don't need to know

28. Who has the same phone as you? I'm sure someone does

29. Last time you went swimming in a pool? Sometime last summer

30. Do you read your horoscope? sometimes

31. Where was the last place you bought something? Dunkin Donuts

32. How do you feel about your hair right now? I want it gone

33. Do you bite your nails? no

34. Do you have any expensive jewelery? no

35. Do you have any expensive jewelery? NO

36. Myspace or facebook? Both

37. How fast have you driven a car? 114 mph according to the RISP

38. Have you ever smoked? yes

39. What was or is your favorite subject in school? English

40. Do you have Verizon? yes

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for? It takes someone special or at least someone good at deception.

42. Do you have any hidden talents? Yes

43. Favorite Song? Look What Happened by Less Than Jake

44. Do you like to sing at all? yes.

45. Dream Job? Writer / Blogger

46. Where does most of your family live? RI

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? I have a brother

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? Sure

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? Here we go again

50. Do you drink? Socially

51. Know any other languages? no

52. Ever write a coded message? yes

53. Have you ever been IN a wedding? I was the worst best man once

54. Do you have any children? no

55. Did you take a nap today? no.

56. Who has the same birthday as you? Heath Ledger, David Cross, Maya Angelou

57. Ever met anyone famous before? Ethan Hawke, Henry Rollins

58. Do you want to be famous one day? Who doesn't?

59. Any Pet Peeves? Tons

60. Are you multitasking right now? No

61. Do you like Britany Spears? No

62. What is your least favorite chore? Mopping

63. Last place you drove your car? work

64. Ever been out of the country? yes

65. Where were you born? Providence

How in the...

Tell me I didn't feel like the biggest tool box in the world when I accidentally deleted my recycle bin and then was so frustrated trying to find it, I needed to go to bed. God Bless both Google and Yahoo Answers...

After dodging yet anther technological bullet, I'm trying to get back into the swing of this writing thing. I used to be fairly consistent, if not here, at least in college, before the thought of a blog had even dawned on me. Nowadays, if people have things they want to express and want people to see/read them, there is no excuse. Whether it's blogger, typepad, wordpress or even the dreaded: livejournal/deadjournal, the resources for you self expression are available and with a few exceptions, are totally free.

Things at work are tight and getting more constrictive by the second. It seems as though every day I go in, there is another unit or department closing. I think the only reason I still have a job is because I work with the, “worst of the worst.” I guess there is something to be said for that and not everyone could do my job, I just hope I'm around until I'm through nursing school or at least damn close.

I've seen a couple of movies over the past week or so. Here are short and sweet reviews.

Vantage Point: Why? What was the purpose other than to confuse people and rob them of their hard-earned cash. I mean I know Dennis Quaid has to eat, but so don't the movie going public. This film was disjointed and repetitive and in the end, didn't really say anything except, “the terrorists win.” I have to wonder what the directors were thinking about character development for Forrest Whitaker and Sigourney Weaver, because there was none.

Jumper: Cool flick. Plain and simple. Sort of a action/adventure flick that meets The Matrix, but avoids all of the mind-bending philosophy. Good to see Hayden Christiansen back at work in something other then Jedi garb. Christiansen plays the geek, from the dysfunctional family, who somehow learns to teleport through space, thus exponentially improving his life. Nothing life changing of a film here but still very enjoyable. I thought trying to disguise Samuel Jackson as Sisqo or however you spell that R'n'B assholes name, was hilarious. Rachel Bilson was unfortunately cast as Christiansen's love interest and to be honest, she sucks. I hated her on The OC, I will probably go to my grave thinking she is a talentless hack. Jamie Bell's, Griffin was excellent and I think left a door open for possibly a Jumper II or maybe a Griffin spin-off. Obviously there is unfinished business between Jackson's character and everyone else in the film. While I would not be upset paying full price to see this movie, it makes for an excellent matinee or netflix selection.

Bank Job: Who is smoother than Jason Statham? Probably no one, at least in Bank Job. Statham's, Terry Leather is a small time crook, trying to make good for his family. Being connected with the Who's who in the London criminal underground comes in handy for Leather, when a bank heist, too good to resist, falls in his lap. Without giving too much away, this was a very enjoyable film. Had this not been an advanced screening, I would have had no worries about paying $$$ to see Bank Job. Based on true events, Bank Job is a good time, so much so, I might even add it to my netflix queue just to see it again and/or check out the special features.

Into the Wild: While I think Emile Hirsch gives a phenomenal performance here, I wonder if this Sean Penn adaptation of Jon Krakauer's novel, Into Thin Air, was more of a look at how growing up in a totally dysfunctional family affected Christopher McCandless, rather than an expose on his wilderness adventures. The film was enjoyable but towards the end it almost seemed as though you knew the outcome and much like Titanic, you just wanted it to be over. Totally netflix or rent this if you are even remotely interested. Though this is not a spoiler, Into the Wild is not a pick-me-up type of film.

Well, that's about all I have for now. You know what to do if you have something to say.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Life is...

I have things in my head, not that I necessarily need to get out...
but they are in my head none the less.

This post feels forced to me and that's the worst. Writing to write, when you have nothing to say. I find it to be even more idiotic and inane than conversations about the weather, because in reality, I am conversing with myself here. Let's be honest.

I went out for a beer after work last night. Something I don't usually do, but that has become more frequent with recent staffing changes. I had one beer. One beer. I guess you could say I was not in the mood to drink, or maybe it was the company, either way, all I could think of was that, in a bar, at midnight on a Wednesday, was one of the last places I wished I was.

Work really drains me and when I'm done, all I want to do is go home and decompress. I want to throw on a hoodie and some fleecy pants and call it a day. I was at work for like 14 hours yesterday, which probably greatly contributed to my postal feelings when I left. I have another long day today, not 14 hours long, but long enough. At least I am on the brink of my weekend.

Lately, people have been telling me I need to make changes in my life. That I should not be so eager to settle and be done with life. Whatever, walk a mile in a man's shoes, yadda...yadda...yadda.

A couple of days ago, I walked across the street to the convenience store. I was after a cherry soda and some cheese balls. As I took the same path to the cooler I always do, I realized I never pay attention to anything any more. When I actually stopped and looked around, the store that provided me with late night munchies and the latest issues of whatever video game magazine was popular at the time, had transformed and is now a place where people can buy used VHS tapes, fake name brand merchandise, bongs and other grass tacticals and jack-it mags. After that, I couldn't stomach the cheese balls and the cherry soda was, shall we say a little bit bitter. Hooray for progress, right?

At least I'm starting to see more sunshine everyday. Even if not, I still have Less Than Jake right?



I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Come On Heat Mizer!!!

Let it be said right here and right now, I am all FUCKING DONE with Winter!

Winter can go and fuck itself in its filthy, rotten, snow-congested asshole for all I care. NO MORE SNOW THIS WINTER!!!

I'm so tired of shoveling and uncovering my car that I don't care if the planet shrivels up into a fucking dust bowl, as long as there is no more snow. I mean I know it's still winter but we're almost into March and it's still colder than a polar bears asshole, with wind and frigid temperatures and shit. GAHH!!

In other news, work has been fucking crazy as of late, with riots on H Block almost every night. I have been training new people, which basically means I have been working by myself for the last week. Yeah, that's awesome.

It's Sunday here in little Rhody and we all know what that means, there is no rock anywhere on the radio. With the exception of WHJY, which doesn't acknowledge that time has not stopped at 1987, there is no reasonably new rock on the radio, on Sunday. Thank God for my ipod.

After spending what seemed like 45 minutes cleaning the crispity crunchity crust of snow off of my car, I was able to drive to T-Ho's to get a PHENOMENAL cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich with sausage. I don't normally indulge in the fast food breakfast, but my recent regimen of oatmeal with raisins, has left me desiring something bad. This morning, I had it. G-licious!

I knew I was in for some sideways glances this morning as I pulled around the drive through. I had nail polish on my nails, (easiest way to describe why, is I lost a bet) and had not been able to take it off yet. So, of course I knew everyone who works the morning drive thru at T-Ho's was going to find a reason to come to the window and ask me a question. I was right, about 37 people asked me if I wanted to make my order a combo, or some variation there of. I get it. It's not every AM you get to see some big burly motherfucker wearing nail polish and blaring Lamb of God, in the drive thru. To be honest, I'm sure there are many more strange things than that, but I digress.

Time to get ready for my new and hopefully, improved week of work. I bought some new sunglasses this weekend on the internet. I'm hoping this might motivate summer to get here a little faster.

Any thoughts? Or have I spent my hard earned dollars to look like a douchebag?


I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Fuck lazy assess...

in the goat ass!

Got some stuff I want to say but, I just worked 16 hours straight and I need to finish hammering down this oatmeal and go to bed.

oh and I have to be back to work for 3pm...

AWESOME

I know there was no sentence structure, grammar or syntax going on up above.

Cut me some slack!

Hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

So much to...

read and write down and so little time. Goddamn, I need a sugar-mama to hook me up with some cha-ching. Having to go to work everyday is really putting a cramp in my investigative and creative endeavours.

How did you like my Canadian flavour?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Just a little...

something to break the monotony.

Yep, it's still really fucking cold.

While I've always been able to wait out Spring without too much anxiety, this year has been a bit tougher. We've been lucky here and haven't been inundated with snow unlike other places in the country, but the cold stretches of weather have been a bit much. I mean here we are mid way through February and it's still very, very chilly.

Not much going on other than work and well..work. I have a new boss and for the most part he seems like a pretty cool guy. He comes in with a background in the type of work that I do, so it's somewhat comforting that I don't have to break in a “newbie” so to speak. Since I've been back with, “the Agency” things have been up and down. Right now things are really fucking stressful and honestly it takes all of my energy to get through a shift, let alone getting frozen in for two in a row.

In other news...

I'm looking for a new doctor. Not that my old doctor was bad, but in the coming months, I'm going to have neither the time, nor desire to drive down the coast probably twice a month. Plus if I were to have to do that, well then, I guess there would be more visits with my parents.

Don't get me wrong, love them to death and wish I could see them more, but sometimes I just really, really need solid blocks of alone time. I don't call my place, “the fortress of solitude” for nothing.

Today is Saturday, February 16th and most of the day will be spent cleaning said, “fos” as it will heretofore be referred to. I'm not the dirtiest guy on the planet, but not the cleanest either. Sometime when you let life get ahead of you, you come home and realize your place is starting to look like one of the residences on COPS. That's probably a good time to start cleaning.

However, I'm not the only person who has let life run away with them, or forgotten what's it's like to be young and have fun. Check this “Dude” out.




While I am in full agreement that Baltimore is a dangerous city, and probably a very tough city to be a police officer in, this “officer of the law” who is sworn to, “protect and serve” did nothing but bully and intimidate. You have to give respect to get it and while the teen in question uttered no profanity or vulgar language, he was probably to frightened to conform to the orders and insults being barked at him. And police officers all over wonder why they get a bad rap. Maybe if dough nut donkeys like Officer Rivieri could spend a little more time in sensitivity training or working with abused kids, he might learn how to speak to people the way he wants to be spoken to.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Sick and Tired...but mostly sick

Hi, you might not know me but my name is Buckley. JJ calls me Buck for short. Jackass Jimmy has come down with a hell of a cold. I gave him some of my awful-tasting cough mixture and he seems to be sleeping, fitfully, in the recliner, right next to this computer. It seems as though JJ has been somewhat lazy in posting, so while he's sleeping let's chat awhile shall we?

So, I guess you check in here from time to time and see if he's written anything. I bet that's disappointing for you most times. It is for me too. The funny thing is, even though JJ(as I like to call him)sees things from the darker side of life, he really has a way of expressing himself that's just hilarious sometimes. Other times well, no one bats 1000%.

Good ol' JJ has been working like a son of a gun! There was lots of overtime last week and not much sleep. I remember him coming home one night a little later than usual, he was acting weird, almost as if he had too much to drink. Then he started calling a text messaging almost everyone he knew. Ha! That boy was on a roll! Lately, JJ has been talking about the new Angels and Airwaves disc. That thing has been on repeat for like weeks. Hopefully, he'll get tired of it soon. It's not that I'm not a fan but in case you didn't know, I'm from Canada and would much rather hear some Our Lady Peace or Tea Party.

I have been telling JJ to get as much rest as he can but, “there are video games to be played and books to be read...” is all he ever says. Poor guy. He works hard all week and when his weekend rolls around, he has to spend the whole thing sleeping, cause he's sick.

Well the constant coughing that was keeping ol' JJ up all night seems to have gone the way of the buffalo. Just shows you that your cough medicine doesn't have to be all filled with sugar or alcohol to work. Granted, I might not taste like a fruit basket, but wouldn't you rather take something that works right away, versus something that tastes good? Me too. I'm going to stop typing for awhile, that big bastard over there is snoring like a drunken hobo and I'd feel bad waking him.

You all have a good night and we'll meet again soon.

As ol' JJ says, “I hope you all are well.”

Cheers,
Buck

Yadda...Yadda...Yadda

So this is the new year...

I finished 2007 strong, working and receiving an A in my nursing class.

2008 has started off somewhat differently.

I'm back to work at: The Agency, different unit, same bullshit. I'm now working the 3-11 shift, which in someways is better for me. I'm often early for my shift, rather than 10-15 minutes late. This does a great deal for my accumulation of vacation and earned time, which is always good. However, even with Fridays & Saturdays off, I still find having a tough time having any sort of a life.

So...

there has been some reading getting done. But, there has also been a ton of sleeping and video game playing. For those of you ensconced in the real of dorkdom like myself, God of War 2, for the Playstation 2, is one bad mama-jama, and better than the first if you can believe that.

My brother recommended Kung Fu High School to me. He's a bright guy with diverse interests, but sometimes I honestly don't know where he finds some of the books he reads. Not your typical novel, KFHS deals with several cliques in a high school who spend their time building body armor, weapons of ass destruction and battling one another. Maybe not to much of stretch of the truth from todays public school systems, but I'm glad I'm light years removed from all of that bullshit.

I should be in school this semester. I'm a procrastinating dumbass and waited and waited and waited to take a test I need to take before I'm able to register for more classes. This is ultimately putting me further behind the eight ball (a place I don't want to be) and will probably force me to spend an additional winter in the beast.

Have I learned? Yes, there will be no more procrastinating as I have crafted daily to do lists. Now if I can only remember where I put it.

Only one day off this week as I have to cover for my 30 year old boss, who is attending a professional wrestling event. What have I done to deserve this?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

I'm not going to lie, I've been away for sometime. However, what better and more lame of a return to the blog than a MEME? Also, I totally poached this from www.beantowngeek.com Just trying to give credit, where credit is due.

Year in Review meme
1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Earned a 4.0 GPA WOOHOO!!!

2.Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I generally don't make them as I have so much going on, I can never remember what they were. However there are some standing orders I have for myself, which I suppose could be considered resolutions. In no certain order:
* Try and make less of me
*Try to cook more and healthier
*More positive self talk
*Be happier
*breathe

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Kate and Smitty had a beautiful baby boy

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

- More Joy.
- Less debt.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

12.31.07 20 years in the making and well worth it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

4.0 I was a basket of nerves the whole time but it was for the greater good.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not taking tests I need to take to make more academic progress and underestimating a Sicilian when death was on the line.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Psoriasis...grrr...Diabetes...double grrr!!! Other than those two, maybe a cold here and there. It was a pretty good year illness wise.

11. What was the best thing someone bought you?

A case of Florida Citrus

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

W's (not the asshat in office) and the Citrus Queen

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Moon Man and SP's

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, rent, women who have no intention of being anywhere near as good to me as I am to them.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Fat kid Pilgrimage '07 and 12.31.07

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Here in your Arms - Hellogoodbye

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Overall happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Wee bit thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Traveled, specifically, CA,MN and IL

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worried.

20. How do you plan to spend Christmas?

Same as always friends and family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

You know, being the sap I am, that's a loaded question, but no.

22. How many one night stands?

None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Top Chef

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Yes.

25. What was the best book you read?

Women by Charles Bukowski.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Jack's Mannequin

27. What did you want and get?

One of the 12000 drink combinations from Sonic

28. What did you want and not get?

A forever friend...

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

I Am Legend.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

34 and maybe dinner but, my brother took me, JC and W to Fenway Park to see the Sox vs. Yanks and the 4 consecutive home runs!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being betrayed by someone I bent over backwards for.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Have you seen the way I dress? One part tornado, one part college student

33. What kept you sane?

My friends both real and virtual, music and my ipod, my family, and as always...diet soda

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Keith Olbermann.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The non-stop lying and warmongering as well as the democratic infighting.

36. Who do you miss?

Erick, Citrus Queen and pretty much anyone I went to college with, though there are some exceptions

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Hutch, John Stone and Mikey Lo

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007?

It's not going to stop.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Don't let the bastards grind you down...

Dashboard Reflectional...

The worst is when you can't tell if you are angry at someone or not. If you want to punch them in the face or make sweet, sweet love to them. It's not often I'm in this state of flux and ergo, why I am having such a tough time dealing. Truth be told, I'm not sure weather this is anger or gasp, dare I say, ”jealousy”... Hey, Jealousy. But I do know it was tough to find a sympathetic ear when I was in tough shape for driving.

Whatever...

Just cause I listen to the same listen music as 17 year old boys, doesn't mean I'm not in touch with or completely lack feelings. I guess as a person who lacks feeling, that's tough to comprehend. My wish for you would be to find some someday. Whether you want to believe me or not, they're not all that bad.

I hope you all are well.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SURLY PUMP MONKEY!!!

Cheers,
JJ

What the fuck...

Is there no intelligent life on this rock?

I've searched maybe not long, maybe not hard, but I've at least searched for good blogs from RI. I don't even include my own blog in the “good blog” category as I update about as much as Courtney Love washes her box, but still...

Are we that devoid of thought and contribution to force me to pay for a subscription to deadjournal, so I can link to teens from RI, who write consistently at least, albeit over who sucks less cock, My Chemical Romance or The Used...

Most of the blog directories I have found have offered carbon copy links. I've even gone through some of my tried and true “go to” links and have come back with nothing.

I suppose I could be like every other person who just wants hits and link to Dooce, but I have a bit more pride than to link to someone I don't know and more importantly, someone I don't read on a consistent basis.

Then there is the, “link to Rhode Islander's on myspace.” Yeah, file that under fuck that. Real bloggers don't blog on myspace. Though I suppose Mystery Cookie and other might argue. Really, how can one argue with someone with the moniker, Mystery Cookie?

Once I have some technical issues taken care of, I'm not promising anything but I am going to make a concerted effort to make my blog, one of the better ones in RI.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
jG

Now that things...

Are back to normal and the Boston Red Sox are World Champions again, things such as sleep can again have a place in my life. There are few things harder than getting to work for seven-am, when your favorite baseball team kept you up until two-three (sober or not so much) in the morning. However, since I am pretty sure I will be layed off within two weeks, 10-15 minutes late is not going to keep me up at night.

Anyway...

While at work this weekend, I overheard part of a funny phone conversation. Someone who recently came to work on my unit, has turned out not only to be funny, but generous and a good person to boot, was having a conversation about music with someone on the phone. While I can usually do a great job of tuning anything out, what I am about to write here made me laugh out loud.

Co-worker: Yeah I think so, no I'm going to buy the Something Corporate.

Friend on Phone: .....

Co-worker: I don't know, I've never really heard them before.

Friend on Phone: .....

Co-Worker: No, they aren't.

Friend on Phone: !!!!!

Co-Worker: No, They Aren't! Dashboard Confessional are not just for fat, white girls from Wisconsin!!!


At this point, the coffee I was drinking almost shot out of my nose at the speed of light. I apologized as soon as she hung up. I then explained going to college in SE, Minnesota, I knew many white girls, fat or not from Wisconsin. I continued to explain that while her friend's observation was astute, it was somewhat off the mark. White girls from Wisconsin are more of the Dave Matthews, Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson ilk.

Then we both had learned something and also had a good laugh.

Today W returns from his trip to the dirrrty south, which is good cause shits were getting boring around here. I also have to write a paper on growing trends in health care and how they will affect my job and society as a whole.

Anyone want to make some quick $$$?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

GO SOX!!!

So last night I took a mid-term. I studied probably enough but not as much as I would have liked. either did really well or really bad on my exam.

As she was handing our exams out, my prof reassured everyone by telling us, "Not to worry because, if we didn't perform as well as we should, we could work something out.

Now don't get me wrong, I like a do over as much as the next guy, but when my class consists of sitting in a hot room, for two and a half hours on a Tuesday night, reading through copies of a power point presentation, verbatim...I wonder what it is I paid for at the beginning of the semester?

Having already attained a degree, I am familiar with the entry level courses having a much higher percentage of "hoop-jumping" but this just seems a bit ridiculous to me.

You know what else grinds my gears? Perfectly healthy young men, who carry their books and materials in those fucking backpacks with wheels. Are you going to class or on vacation?

-END RANT-

If you are looking to listen & discover new music, check this out! It's totally Jackass approved!

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Slamazon...

I know I always bitch and complain about the battles I have with amazon but, I just found an out-of-print cd, that I have been searching for, for sometime, for $6.

Used, yes, used. I love buying used cause fuck the RIAA! I'm not stealing it, I'm paying for it and you can bet your ass it's going right on my ipod.

So now that my retail therapy has been completed, its off to study.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Hi there...

I have to tell you, one of the skills I've learned as an adult is patience. Not the Gun's N' Roses type but the kind that only makes me think about stabbing stupid people in the morning coffee line.

However, there are still somethings that make me cringe like a 5 year old, anxiously awaiting Christmas.

1. Having to wait for the sporadic release of my favorite comic book, Fell. I was never really into comic books enough to create a long-term interest, but this book by Warren Ellis & Ben Templesmith is great.

2. Borat: Fuck this guy in the ass with Shaquille O'Neal's dress shoes. Not funny...NOT FUNNY...NOT FUNNY!!!

3. Missing Concerts: Interpol, still not over this one. Waited forever to see them and low and behold of course...plans get fubar'ed.

I'm not going to make this post an extended rant cause, well why should I waste any more of your time?

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

why...

study for a midterm when you can go vacuum cleaner shopping and spend time with the one who, you are sure will eventually rip your heart out via your ass?

It is said that behind every good man is a better woman. I'm not sure if better or craftier is more appropriate. I am sure that I don't want to go to Field of Screams or any of that halloween bullshit tonight.

The things we put up with for love/lust/napping partners.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

not dead...not yet

...sometimes reading about women or watching them in movies or television is just better for your sanity than the real thing. I hung out with my favoritest of lady friends today. Tonight she wanted to jump in the F1, plug in the ipod and just go.

Who am I to say no?

and in my attempt for power and glory, I nearly disembowled the F1 and left my favoritest to spend the night with another man in her bed.

good times...good times.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

The Grind...

Eight minutes to midnight. Sounds like the title of a shitty eighties metal song. Either that or I am starting to lack in the originality department.

I'm going with a lack of originality, it's not like there have been any new ideas in the last 100 years. Ok, as far as an update is concerned...

My job fucking sucks.

Wait, no, that's not quite right. My job is fine, the idiots I work with are making me not want to go to work anymore. Last time this happened,
I ended up leaving a, “fuck you & good bye” letter on my bosses desk, late on a Sunday afternoon. I mean it's still an option but since I have
three years in, I should at least give two weeks so I can use hell as a reference.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm staying employed by hell, just making a lateral move to another department. The good thing about Hell is there are
many, many places to work. Never a dull moment if you know what I mean. The prospect of earning a full-time paycheck while I train for a
big boy job is somewhat gratifying. I mean sure, I'm going to have next to no social life for two years, but shit, I've almost done that for the better
part of 15 years, two should be a walk in the park.

If anything, being back in school, learning, using my brain will probably help me to not feel so stuck. Yes, there will be a plethora of women in
my program, but I really am focused on getting through school as soon as possible. Nursing is not a cake walk and I'm sure there are going to
be nights and days where I wish I had hair left to rip out. At any rate, when I make it through, I can work anywhere in the country and make a
good living doing it.

Plans for independence day are as follows:

6:00am Wake up
6:15 wake up again
6:20 get in shower/wash filthy ass
6:30 dry and dress/shave and brush
6:40 take pills/sigh/gel hair
6:50 turn on computer/glance at news
6:55 leave for work
7:00 get iced tea at T-Ho's
7:05 Arrive at work 5 minutes late.
7:10-8:10 Try and wake up
8:30-3:00PM put up with inane bullshit from co-workers
3:00:01 punch out and leave work
3:30 drive to brother's fiances families house
4:00 do cook out type stuff
9:00 Drive home
9:20 Check email/screw around on interweb/read
12:00 go to bed.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

I've lost that loving feeling...

I'm not going to lie, it's gone...gone...gone.

Even with all of the other nonsense going on in my life, I'm usually good about being able to turn it off and go to work.

Not so much as of late.

I can't see giving 110% to a place that just beats you until you break. Now, I'm not broken, but I'm getting there.

That having been said...

It's time for a graceful exit and time to move on to hopefully greener pastures.

I've been told a change of latitude will help my attitude, this may also be true. Fuck it, it is true.
I'm trying to pick out a date and just go. While I will miss my home, a whipping boy no more will I be.

I hope you all are well.

Cheers,
JJ

Bent over again...

It's 9:00AM on Saturday morning and it feels and sounds as if the whole world went out drinking last night. Not that I mind, it's just odd, cause normally I don't notice it. Normally, I am at work. Normally. You see today is special. Today I am taking a Saturday off. I am not working today because I'm upset with my place of employment. So much so, I don't mind burning a vacation day to not be there.

After three years of loyal service, I was passed over for a promotion I was told was going to be mine. I was told this not once but twice, (off the record mind you) by the hiring manager and this job, for all intensive purposes, should have been mine. See they decided to go with someone who has only been employed with the Agency for seven months. Seven months, versus three years...you see where I'm going with this?

Not only does this person not possess the qualifications necessary to even apply for the job, but they lack the skill and finesse necessary to get it done well, the way it needs to be done.

As a result, here I sit in my boxers, on a Saturday morn, drinking iced coffee and blogging, trying to figure out whether I am going to buy guitar hero or one of those things you can dock your ipod in, while you charge and listen to it. All of these things better than being at work on a Saturday.

I hope you all are well.


Cheers,
JJ